Repeat Offender

Worth Every Penny

I put a decent amount of work into a course review when I write one. I wish I could do more but I don’t get out enough to courses you guys actually want to hear about. I also don’t review private tracks (I’m their guest) or places I play close to home. So when the Tour visits a course I’ve played and reviewed I make sure to bring back up the post from my archives.

Image result for kapalua plantation course image

My 2014 review of Kapalua’s Plantation Course, from my trip there in 2010, can be found by hitting the link you’re reading in this sentence. The pros tee off on Thursday in Maui this year, FYI. That’s a change from the past when the started on Friday and ended on Monday to try to avoid football audiences picking a playoff game over a limited field event in paradise. I guess that didn’t work. I’ll be back later in the week with my 2016 predictions. Oh, and for fantasy picks this week, how can you go against Matsuyama?

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The Shutters 2016: WAG of the Year

Putting A Bow On The Show

It is time to get this thing over with, the year, the Shutters, etc. All of it. They’ve both gone on long enough. The Shutter for WAG of the Year was the show stopper for the first two years of these awards. In 2016 it is the one I’ve dreaded handing out. The past winners include Amanda Dufner, Alexis Randock (Rickie Fowler), and Paige Spiranac. Dufner and Randock have since parted ways with their star golfing significant others. That’s bad mojo for anyone nominated this year. Good luck, ladies, the category is wide open. I try to stick with actual wives and/or girlfriends but as you can see with Paige winning last year I’ll also legitimately nominate an up and coming viral smoke show that golfs. Paige was a force of nature last year, she deserved it. Who’s going to get the SFG curse for 2016????

The Nominees Are…

Jillian Stacey Bradley – Jillian is the new bride of Keegan Bradley. The couple was engaged in 2015 and smartly waited until after the 2016 PGA Tour season was over to tie the knot. The New England couple then took to Italy for a honeymoon you should never show your wife or girlfriend pictures of because you’ll never be able to live up to it (this is the same reason you don’t watch BBD porn with your girl).

Image result for jillian stacey bradley

Recently married, super hot, she’s a lock, right? Because she’s actually with a golfer and not the golfer herself his year counts for or against her too. He only had two top 10s and probably made about as much as he spent on the wedding. Ouch Keegs.

Paulina Gretzky – The fiance’ and baby momma to Dustin Johnson, Paulina has been a WOTY nominee on SFG.com before. In 2013 she and pictures of her wearing little clothing practically carried this site to a level of readership that kept me going. She’s still dead sexy and Dustin’s game has never been better since she came along nearly 4 years ago.

🌴❤️☀️ @djohnsonpga

A post shared by Paulina Gretzky (@paulinagretzky) on

The power couple has a young son together and they’re still planning on getting married (I’m hearing early 2018). I think this is her year. Dustin’s year was too good and she’s too hot to ignore. His major win at Oakmont in the U.S. Open just might be enough to put her over the top.

Elise Lobb – Elise is former collegiate golfer at Northern Florida University. She can play but you won’t see her trying to climb the ladies professional ranks anytime soon. She’s far more likely to appear on your TV as some kind of media persona. She became 2016’s version of Paige Spiranac after her good looks, charms, and fun personality went slightly viral. She also held down a month or so as the SFG Up & Comer of the Month.

Image result for Elise Lobb

Elise seems to have a few jobs in smaller roles for various media outlets. I’m not sure what the Golf Channel is waiting for, with her background she’s be perfect on-air talent eye candy for almost any show they can think to put her on. Get it done!

Nicole Willett – The Masters Champion’s wife had a big year. Hubby Danny won a green jacket, they had a baby the same week he won his first major, and then she got to deal with her brother-in-law’s foot in mouth episode surrounding the Ryder Cup.

Image result for nicole willett

Like Paulina, Mrs. Willett gets bonus points for her man winning a 2016 major. Unlike Paulina, she also gets bonus points for following me on Twitter. I obviously don’t know her personally, but she seems like the real deal. Down to earth, not interested in celebrity status, and more concerned about being a good mom than flashing photos of her amazing life around on social media. That’s a good thing for someone in her shoes.

And The Winner Is…

This isn’t that clear cut. You’ve got a new bride, a new mom, some WAGs with major trophies on their mantles right now, and a new viral golf sweetheart. I could give this to anyone. I’ll take Lobb out of this right now. She’s fantastic but she doesn’t hold a candle to Paige who won last year for the same reasons. Stacey Bradley, she’s out too because she must have distracted Keegan all year with wedding bullshit for him to have played like that. Paulina is the winner. I can’t deny her again. I’d like to say Dustin’s performance at Oakmont put her over the top, but the reality is this work by a Fox cameraman is what got her the win.

So yeah, I gave her the win for wearing that white mini knowing she’d be in front of millions of eyeballs with her guy winning the national championship. #LonglivePaulina indeed, and congrats to her for winning the SFG Wag of the Year award.

I think I got it right. I don’t need you to confirm it, but I’ve always given you a voice here and I always with. The poll and the comments are here for you to tell me how you feel. Don’t be bashful. Happy New Year!

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Tiger The Mac Daddy Santa

A ShutFace Christmas Tradition

Death, taxes, and a ShutFaceGolf.com Xmas post. Those are certainties of life since this blog was started nearly four years ago. Last year I gave you ‘ShutFace Clause Coming to Town’. In 2014, ‘O’Twitter Feed’ was the song of the season. And in 2013, a ShutFace classic, ‘The Night Before Golfmas‘ was born. This year, we’ll revise your favorite song about a red nosed reindeer and hit the topic of the day hard. In case you missed it, I’m talking about Tiger Woods. He’s supposed to tee it up with President-elect Donald Trump tomorrow. Just to make things interesting, he tweeted this tonight. Here goes nothing…

You know Arnie and Gary and Jack and Lord Nelson
Hogan and Snead and Faldo and Mickelson,
But do you recall?
The most famous multi-major winner of all
?

Tiger the Mac Daddy Santa
Has a ton of dirty hoes 
And if you ever saw this tweet
You would even say it blows.
All of the other golfers
Viewed it to laugh and call him names
They blasted poor Tiger
And put him in a bunch of memes. 

Then one Christmas Eve Eve,
Mac Daddy Santa came to say,
Mr. Trump with your fake tan hide,
I’m not giving you 15 shots a side. 

Then all the fan boys loved him again,
As they sat down to pee,
Tiger, the Mac Daddy Santa
You have no chance at Jack’s history!

I’ll admit, that’s not my best, but at least it is current. I told my followers I’d recreate the shot with what I have around the house and Hershey Kisses for my nipples if my tweet was liked or retweeted 100 times. With a few hours to go what is left of my dignity is looking safe. I’ll update this post if that changes before I pass out.

Merry Christmas from ShutFaceGolf.com.

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The Shutters 2016: Tweeter of the Year

After The Longest Break In Award Show History…

And we’re back. Wow, that was a long break. That is what happens when you mix Taco Bell and Ex-Lax. Ok, that’s a bad shit joke. On with the show. This one is the Tweeter of the Year. In case you’re new here let me explain that this isn’t about actual tweeting, but that does help. This is an award for a person or an entity using social media to make the golfing world more entertaining, funny, and informative in 140 characters at a time. Instagrams, SnapChats, tweets, they’re all in play here (except Facebook, fuck Facebook in the face).

Last year Adam Sarson won and he deserved the award more than any other prior winner. 2014 gave us everyone’ favorite fan boy club, @NolayingUp. And 2013…..fuck I don’t remember….oh yeah, ESPN’s Jason Sobel. That’s a pretty elite club. Only one of those handles have blocked me since! Who will win for 2016? I think there is a clear favorite, but I’ll save that for the rest of the post.

And The Nominees Are…

@JohnPetersonPGA – John is a PGA Tour member once again and you’ll see him with full status in 2016 as he returns from injury. He’s a outdoor loving Texan who hunts and kills anything with fur or feathers. He’s rather outspoken and loves ‘merica and the military. He’s not afraid to speak his political mind, either, which might be the only knock I have on him for this award. I tend to agree with John on such issues, but I don’t read my Twitter feed for that type of stuff. Here’s a 140 character or less sampling of John’s work.

Jack Handy couldn’t have said it better. John does get extra credit for his fine work on SnapChat. The Xmas display he put up has nothing on Clark Griswold.

@Skratch – Best known as SkratchTV, of SkratchTV.com, this multimedia juggernaut doesn’t say who they are or what their M.O. is, they just put out amazing clips, gifs, and other entertainment that brings a smile to my face almost every day. They are absolutely killing it, there’s no other way to say it. Here’s a sample:

If you don’t get that, I can’t help you. Their material is typically relevant to the topic de jour and as you can see above, there’s often a fun-loving throw back element in it. What’s not to love about Skratch?

@EuropeanTour – Call me un-American, but the ET Twitter handle absolutely blow away what its American counterpart in Ponte Vedra produces in the Social Media world. The Euros have been ahead of us in this regard since the birth of the internet it seems. They probably have to be more interweb entertainment savvy to get fringe soccer fans involved. Hey, whatever it takes. From gong challenges to Rory being interviewed by a kid, the ET media savants usually strike gold.

Who the fuck thought of that? It is NSFW because it is the purest form of golf porn I’ve ever seen on the Twitter. But that’s what @EuropeanTour does, and it never takes a day off. God bless.

@DougFerguson405 – Last but not least there’s Mr. Doug Ferguson, an Associated Press Golf journo.  Doug was nominated for the award before but didn’t win. He is as old school as it gets. He’s a writer/journo above anything else. He writes with integrity (unlike anything you’ll find on this site). He writes based on fact. And he’s typically one of the first on site of a big boy tournament to give you some context and perspective of what just happened, why, and what it means for golf history. He is a pro’s pro, and luckily for us he’s adapted to the new media to give us all his abridged thoughts via Twitter. Thank you, Doug.

I don’t know him personally but many of my peers have met him and speak highly of him. Having read him for nearly 4 years now it is easy to see why. I’ve often heard from some young bloggers and journos that Doug is one of the first media veterans to give advice to rookies in the golf journo ranks. That’s worth a few ‘good-guy’ points in my book.

And The Winner Is

Doug Ferguson? I like Doug, I’d like to give him some type of lifetime achievement award, but the Shutter for Tweeter of the Year for 2016 isn’t going to be his. John Peterson? No, not him either. Pictures of dead ducks and deer won’t get it done when there’s much stiffer competition (rigamortis pun fully intended). There’s nothing about what the EuroTour does on Twitter that I don’t like. In any other year I’d probably declare them the winner without a second thought. But they aren’t Skratch, no one is. Skratch is witty, subtle, and very entertaining to a golf nerd like me. They’re the winner going away, and the following two tweets along with the one shown above in this post are 3 of the best montages I’ve watched this year.

Good thing JT didn’t ask to sing with Liza Minnelli. I can’t decide which one I like more, JT and Gus or “Putt It”.

Tough call, but both are award worthy and Skratch already has the hardware. Every past winner of this Shutter has responded to a ShutFaceGolf tweet or post to provide some form of an acceptance speech. You’re on the clock Skratch. We won’t even play the music to boot you off the stage.

This is the part where I typically let you weigh in on a poll to tell me I’m wrong about who I gave an award to. I’m hesitant to do so with this one because I feel so strongly about my selection. But because I want you guys to have a voice and understand you’re part of this place, the reason for any content, etc. I’ll stick with tradition. Just a reminder, if you pick ‘Other’ you have to leave a comment to explain your decision.

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Random Thoughts With An Eye Toward 2017

If I Were A Betting Man

The PGA Tour tells us their off season is the 3 days between the last shot hit at the Ryder Cup and the first shot hit the following Thursday at the Safeway Open. That’s a fact. We know it isn’t true but we mock it and laugh at it just the same. Of course the true off season for the players is the month of December. The silly season World Challenge Shark Shootout Father/Son Opens are all done and there’s no more golf that matters until we see our heroes again at Kapalua in January. This true off season also means players that have been fiddling with equipment and wardrobe changes start announcing their new endorsements to the golf world. When a multi-green-jacket-winning player signs on with a new ball company after a decade with another, it makes you say hmmmmm………

Image result for Bubba Watson volvik image

Yes, that’s right, Gerry Watson Jr. has put his Pro V1s in the dumpster and will play Volvik balls for as long as his contract says according to ESPN.com. Who did you think I was talking about? Volvik is best known for sponsoring LPGA events and selling balls in a variety of bright colors. Watson already uses a pink driver with a pink shaft, will he use a pink ball too? That sounds like something he’d sign on for. He can’t talk about it until his Titleist contract expires at midnight on New Year’s Eve. Can’t wait for that tweet!

Oh yeah, Tiger got new balls too. The 650th player in the world, Tiger Woods, signed with Bridgestone and announced it via Twitter yesterday. He’ll play the B330-S.

That isn’t going to look or feel right, but that’s a helluva signing for the tire company. He’ll move product. With moves like this and Eldrick having Taylormade woods in his bag 2017 feels like a big year of change in golf. TW hasn’t been relevant for 3+ years. That comes to a screeching halt as I think he’s going to contend early and often in the new year. He’s already announced that he’ll play in L.A. at Riviera 8 weeks from now. Word on the street is he’ll also play in the middle east in January.

In my last post about 1/4 of you said you thought TW would win in 2017. Are you guys going to put your money where your mouth is? I think I would. 25 to 1 at the Masters? I’m not ready to go that far, but I am seeing 12 to 1 to win a tournament. That seems like a no-brainer. I’m also seeing odds of 15 to 1 for any player to win 2 majors. I need to call my bookie. Rory could have that locked up by July. FYI I’m seeing these at MyTopSportsBooks.com in this post written last week. I think he’s got it about right, which ones do you like? I think I agree with his Spieth take too.

That’s all for now. I had to give you something as I scratched my head on the Volvik/Watson news. SFG will be ramping up production a bit with the Shutter Awards coming to an end and my annual epic Christmas post on the horizon. Stay tuned.

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Weekend Golf For Tiger – Everybody Wins!

I’m Not Going To Say The B Word

Tiger Woods completed 4 rounds of tournament golf for the first time in nearly 500 calendar days. Read that again to yourself. Repeat it. And get used to seeing a lot more Tiger in your golfing world for the foreseeable future. I had low expectations for him after he weirded out of playing in the Safeway Open in October. All reports that week were that he was ready to go. He even recommitted to the event the Friday before it was to begin, then on Monday he was out. He had some mental block that was keeping him from teeing it up. Woods waited for safer pastures to return to at the no cut Hero event he hosts. Wise move.

No matter what you think of his 15th place finish (out of 18), this last weekend of golf was more than anyone could have imagined from Tiger after missing 16 months. He looked happy, secure in what he was doing, and most importantly – healthy. Tiger told the media he was down 10 pounds due to a Thanksgiving illness he and his family caught. That lead to some late round fatigue you could see from him in 3 of the four rounds he played. Said fatigue killed some good to average rounds and turned them into garbage. Oh well. His driver wasn’t perfect. Several of the few demanding tee shots the Albany course offers caused him mental anguish. But that is all nitpicking.

Outside of the those scabs he was vintage Tiger. He lead the field in birdies and eagles (and double bogies), he rocked a few 350 yard bombs off the tee, he made 20 foot round saving par putts after hitting a ball offline, nearly aced a par 3, and holed out an amazing bunker shot. That sounds pretty damn good for me. I think TW’s entourage agrees. Here’s a live look at Steinie, Joe LaCava, and Notah Begay:

All that Tiger fellating is great and gives you the feelgoods, but where there any real takeaways or insights we could get from a weekend of silly golf in the Bahamas? Yes. Abso-fucking-lutely. His swing looked smooth and natural. Gary Koch gave a great analysis of Tiger’s swing positions from 2015 to what we saw this weekend. He had better balance, foot work, rotation, less movement, and less of a violent transition from the top. All good things for his quest to win more majors and stay healthy. His short game wasn’t perfect, there was some rust, but overall it looked damn good. The balky Nike putter was gone and the trade mark Scotty Cameron made a reappearance in the Bahamas too. I don’t think I saw him miss a putt you’d expect him to make.

He’s going to be good again. I didn’t say great. He’ll never be what he was but he’ll be solid and win a few times in the next few years. I don’t think it will take too long. He needs to play a full schedule. He needs to keep up whatever crazy health regimen he’s partaking in to stay healthy. He’s on the right course. I can’t wait to see what is next.

Oh….the actual tournament???? Yeah….ummm…..near dominant performance from Hideki. He’s inching up the world rankings. For his win he moved from 6th to….6th. Tiger moved up about 150 places for being 15th. What a system.

Nice playing, kid. Can we start fitting Matsuyama for a green jacket?

So what do you expect from Tiger in 2017?

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In Honor Of Tiger’s Return – M/F/K All Things Tiger

Guess Who’s Back, Back Again, Tiger’s Back, Tell Your Friends

That’s right. Tiger is 3 days away from teeing it up at his own event, the Hero World Challenge, in the Bahamas on Thursday of this week. I’m still skeptical that he’ll actually play and will have to see it to believe it. Word on the mean streets of golf is that TW shot 63 at Seminole last week. Vegas has his Thursday 1st round over/under at 72.5 with him more likely to withdraw during the event than win. He has the worst odds in the field to win. Imagine saying that 3 years ago. My prediction? He shoots 75-74 then claims some freakish injury that sets him back but doesn’t delay him from playing again come next February. What else do we know? He’s putting a Bridgestone ball in play. He’s got his same Nike irons in the bag. He’s going to have Monster Energy as his sponsor on the bag. And he’s using the Scotty Cameron putter that he won 12 of 14 majors with.

Anything else? Why yes, of course. In honor of his return and to spite the so called PC Police that enjoyed previous posts featuring SFG.com’s favorite game – Marry/Fuck/Kill, we’ll play a few speed rounds of M/F/K featuring all things Tiger. As always, this is for entertainment only. I’m not gay, I don’t plan on being so in the future. I also don’t plan on actually fucking, killing, or marrying any of the following people or objects mentioned. If you don’t get the game, don’t read anymore, just go back to being appalled at someone else’s internet ramblings. Mine are not to be taken seriously. Away we go.

Swing Coaches (Sean Foley, Hank Haney, Butch Harmon)

Marry – Yikes….This may be tougher than I thought. I guess I’ll marry Butch. He’d have my game ready for tournament play at a minimum. Plus he probably has the most assets to inherit and is the closest to being dead.

Image result for butch harmon marriage image

Fuck – Ok, this is hard. I’ll have to go with Sean Foley. He’s tiny and looks like a bottom bitch. I’m not a bottom bitch.

Kill – Hank Haney, no question. Dude talks to much, can’t keep a secret, and would write a book about my entire relationship with him like he did Tiger if he was my M or F. I don’t like the techniques he teaches either.

Caddies (Mike Cowan, Steve Williams, Joe LaCava)

Marry – I’m taking Fluff, A.K.A. Mike Cowan, for the same reasons I took Butch above. Cowan has a Fed Ex win with Furyk ($$$$$$$) and he’s bound to die off any day. Dude is old as shit.

Image result for fluff cowan tiger woods

Fuck – Yuck. Joe LaCava? Yeah. It has to be Joe. I’d bet there were plenty of times he had to work out his old boss’ back(Fred Couples). I’m grossed out by the thought but that’s how you play the game.

Kill – The kills are going to be the easy ones, aren’t they? Steve Williams. I hate this door knob anyway. I’ll kill him and bury him in a fucking caddie bib because I was always annoyed at him taking the bib off on the 72nd hole when Tiger won an event. No other caddie does this, ever. He did it because he’s a huge bag of dicks.

Girlfriends (Lindsey Vonn, Rachel Uchitel, Kristin Smith)

Marry – Probably his current one. Oh, you haven’t met her? This is Kristin Smith. She’s some sort of personal stylist. That’s good with me. She has her own career and looks old enough where she’s not going to want kids and all that other 1st marriage stuff from you.

She’s hot. And she looks like she’s probably into some freaky shit. She must be if she’s with Tiger.

Fuck – I’ll go with Rachel Uchitel. You can’t marry Rachel because she’s already gone through a few hubbies and her exs have roasted her in the tabloids. She looks good though. Put on a rubber and be done with it.

Image result for Rachel uchitel

Kill – Easy. Lindsey Vonn. If you’ve read this blog for nearly 4 years you know I don’t like her look. One last time for Ms. Vonn….moo.

Most Won Events (Non-Majors) (Bay Hill, Firestone, Torrey Pines)

Marry – I’ve played Torrey Pines South, with those views I think I could handle playing it every day. That sounds like the marrying type so the Farmers at Torrey is the Tiger dominated (non-major) event I’d marry if the courts allowed for such weird things.

Image result for torrey pines images

Fuck – Firestone, a made for TV WGC tourney on an old course that I’d want to play once, that gets the “fuck”. I don’t need to play it again. I’ll pay my guest fee and be done with it.

Kill – This might be painful for some of you to hear, but I’m killing Bay Hill. The course is rubbish. The event was a great tournament because of Arnold Palmer. Now that Arnie has passed the event will likely lose prestige and popularity. I’ll kill it for the Tour.

Tiger’s Entourage (Mark Steinberg, Notah Begay, Earl Woods)

Marry – Notah Begay. I like Notah. I think he’s good at his job. We’d have a great marriage playing golf every day together. We’d dominate couples events.

Image result for notah begay tiger woods image

Fuck – Steinberg…… I guess?????? He’s going to be someone’s prison bitch someday so I’ll get him started for the sake of this weird game.

Kill – Earl Woods. I know he’s already dead, and that’s taking the easy way out, but the dude was a huge prick who Tida should have smothered with a pillow 20 years ago.

Champions Tour Tiger Bros (Mark O’Meara, Fred Couples, John Cook)

Marry – This game is only getting more weird. I guess Freddie. If I’m with him every day perhaps his coolness and fluid swing will rub off on me. Plus he’s a Masters Champ, Augusta access would be a benefit to any marriage.

Image result for Fred Couples Mark O'Meara image

Fuck – I don’t want to do this, Mr. O’Meara, but since he’s also a Masters Champ I’d have to consider it just to get a round in at the National.

Kill – John Cook, just because. I didn’t like him when he played. I think it was his flowing gold lettuce that just made him look like a d-bag. Now I actually like him on Golf Channel, for the most part, but the game makes no exceptions and I’m offing him in favor of Tiger’s other senior buds hooking me up in Georgia.

Greatest Majors (1997 Masters, 2000 U.S. Open, 2006 British Open)

Marry – How can you pick only one of these to spend eternity with? It seems impossible but I’ll press on and take the 2000 U.S. Open. Great setting, phenomenal play, and a white washing of the field. You have to marry Tiger in peak form.

Image result for 2000 us open golf image

Fuck – The 1997 Masters is like the perfect 10 at the end of the bar. You get one shot with her, you have a great memory of the event and it is in your highlight real forever, then its gone.

Kill – The 2006 British. This was a masterpiece. I won’t discredit it. I cannot. But homie hit like 2 drivers all week. That’s boring for Tiger fans that would otherwise have to decide to fuck or marry an all-time performance.

His Injuries (Back, Leg, Wrist)

Marry – I’ll go with his wrist injury, remember, the one he magically snapped back into place during the 2015 Masters?

He popped it back in!!!!? Hell yeah I’ll ride with that one for better or for worse.

Fuck – The broken leg he won the 2008 U.S. Open with made his 14th and final (to date) major win epic. That’s a one time event. If he did it again it wouldn’t be epic it would be bull shit. As bull shit as popping your wrist bone back in place. I wouldn’t believe it.

Kill – I’ll put the back injury in the “Kill” column. Why? Because it has mostly killed his career. Sure he could come back, but this nagging back problem has kept him out for 16 months now. It cost him much of 2015 too. I’m a Tiger fan, why wouldn’t I want to kill this mother fucker?

Enough of the silliness. I hope you got my point and had a fun trip down memory lane with Tiger in the process. Set your DVR. Get all the Tiger you can on Thursday. Every event he plays in for the next decade could be his last.

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The Shutters 2016: Shot of the Year

I’ll Remember The Bad As Much As The Good 

Maybe that sentiment is fitting in 2016. Personally, I’ve had a pretty good year, but there’s a general feeling of Fuck 2016 as the year comes to an end. The Shutter for Shot of the Year isn’t exclusive to only the great shots of the calendar year. The award is an attempt to recognize the shot that defined the year in golf, as well as recognize excellence or a rare feat. If Ian Poulter had hit a shank to lose a critical match on the 18th hole of the Ryder Cup then I’d probably nominate Poulter’s hosel rocket for the Shutter. That being said I’d rather award excellence. Enough of the bull shitting. I’ll get on with it.

The Nominees Are…

Rory McIlroy, 72nd Hole of the Irish Open – In past years the Irish Open was a run of the mill Euro Tour event. Not this year, not when Rory comes home and circles the event on the calendar. This was his 5th major and he was starting to let it slip away until he hit the par five 16th hole in two for a ho-hum birdie. Then on at the 18th hole, another par 5, he went ahead and did this when keeping his ball dry and making par probably would have won his home country’s championship:

He’s got a brass set, doesn’t he? I recall watching that in a summer morning haze back in North America somewhere. I sat up with pancake falling out of my mouth when that ball landed on the green. It was a big boy shot, but does it define the year in golf? Was it even the best shot Rors hit in 2016? More on that later.

Jordan Spieth, 12th Hole of the Masters Final Round – Ugh….this is the one you didn’t want to read about in this post if you’re a Spieth fan. Jordan of course hit his tee shot in Rae’s Creek about 150 seconds prior to what you’ll see in the Vine below, then the Chunk Heard Round the World happened.

Jordan’s first swing at the 12th on Sunday was less than stellar, but it wasn’t the meat of a catastrophic meltdown that we saw in the chunked pitch shot. A world class player only hits it that bad when he or she is rattled, nervous, and has a fresh batch of poo in their pants. One could argue that Spieth was never the same after that. Not in the round (obviously) and not in 2016. His gold touch was gone with one panicked swing. It isn’t a moment of brilliance, but it very much does help to define golf in 2016.

Rory McIlroy, 16th hole of the Final Round of the Tour Championship – Two nominees out of 5 in this category for Rory certainly make him the odds on favorite for the Shutter for Shot of the Year. Rory has 11.3 million reasons to vote for his dunk at East Lake’s 16th hole in the final round. He was 3 back with 3 to go. He isn’t in a playoff without this finding the jar from the fairway and that means Dustin Johnson would have been you’re Fed Ex winner. That is huge, if only we actually gave a shit about the Fed Ex Cup to begin with.

It is Rory, it is the Tour Championship…..he does that at a major and the club goes from his hands to the hall of fame immediately.

Patrick Reed, 6th Hole of 4 Ball Matches on Ryder Cup Saturday – Patrick Fucking Reed. Homie was the bell cow for Captain Davis Love in bringing home a Ryder Cup win for Team USA in September at Hazeltine, but you already know that. You also know that his epic Sunday singles match against Rory was the biggest reason to me why the US won. He set the tone for the whole squad out of the gate. He did all that with more swagger than I’ve ever seen from a golfer not named Tiger Woods. I think a lot of said swagger came from Reed’s Saturday afternoon match and his hole out for eagle on the 6th hole.

Reed and partner Jordan Spieth halved a tough match in the morning in which they blew a large lead. It felt like a loss. They needed to get momentum back in a big way and Reed’s hole out was the catalyst in grabbing the matches by the balls for the U.S.

Dustin Johnson, 5th hole of US Open Final Round – This isn’t a shot in my mind, and there is almost no way I’m picking it as the winner of the Shutter, but it has to be mentioned if only for the colossal fuck up it revealed that is the USGA’s Tournament Committee, their leadership, and the way they administer their rules. Johnson addressed his ball to putt out on the 5th hole and it appeared to move. Ok, it for sure moved, but that doesn’t mean he caused it. Then the USGA fucked around for more than 9 holes before they accessed DJ a penalty. To make things worse they told him a few holes after the ball moved that the incident was being reviewed.

They did all that after he had an official come over to discuss the ball possibly moving. what else can you do? The official essentially said play on and that should have been the end of it. I’ve shit on the USGA enough this year. I’ve buried them for this ruling against DJ every chance I’ve had to do so. Did the incident define the year? It very well may have.

And The Winner Is…

If I could bottle up both Spieth and DJ’s unfortunate gaffes of the year I’d have a pretty clear winner right there. Those two ‘shots’ define 2016 to me. I don’t want to be Debbie Downer, I want to award excellence. Rory’s Irish Open shot was money, but too insignificant to most of the golf world. That leaves us with two worthy winners, Reed and Rory at East Lake. Quite honestly, Reed and Rory his so many good shots and putts in their singles match at the Ryder Cup that they drown out Reed’s single hole out. Rory’s shot directly lead to his Fed Ex victory, and even though it is a conjured up bull shit event it is enough for me to declare it the Shot of the Year. Congrats Rors. You earned it.

Image result for Rory fedex picture

Honestly, this one could have gone any direction of the five I nominated. One more beer in me tonight and I’d probably have picked Reed’s dunk or Spieth’s chunk. Did I get it wrong? Maybe, but I don’t care. It is my site and I backed up my pick. As always you can tell me I’m wrong in the comments and the poll can prove me wrong completely. Tweeter of the Year is up next. I’m still accepting nominations. Come strong.

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The Shutters 2016: Player of the Year

I’d Pick FIGJAM If This Were Horseshoes

Another week, another Shutter to hand out, and this one is for the Player of the Year. This isn’t the AP vote. This isn’t handed out by the Tour. This is the ShutFaceGolf.com POTY. That means there are no rules. Last year Jordan Spieth was everybody’s golden boy and POTY. And I gave my award to Jason Day anyway. I justify my selections no matter how bad you think they may be, don’t worry. Can Day win again this year? Let’s find out.

The Nominees Are…

Henrik Stenson – The Champion Golfer of the Year, yeah, the Iceman has a chance. That’s why I nominated him. He only won twice, but I like to give extra credit for record setting performances in a major (don’t tell that to 2015 Jordan Spieth though). We all saw what Stenson did at Royal Troon and I’ve already awarded him with a Shutter for the Round of the Year in 2016 for that performance.

Image result for henrik stenson claret jug

Can those four days at Troon plus one other measly Euro Tour win be enough to push him through for the Player of the Year? That’s doubtful, even though he is #4 in the world rankings. He won’t be ignored, but don’t hold your breath on him snatching this one. That groan you just heard are all my Swedish readers. I’ll bet you $50 that they all leave my site after reading this in search of their favorite glass bottom boat porn clips (don’t make me screen shot my analytics!).

Dustin Johnson – World number 3 had a decent year, right? Made the cut in 21 of 22 events he played on the PGA Tour. Yes, that MC was the PGA, but I’ll let it pass due to the compressed major schedule. Thanks Obama. 19 of the 21 cuts he made he finished in the top 25, 15 times in the top 10, and of course 3 wins including his first major. Throw in a WGC at Firestone to be the whip cream on your Oakmont U.S. Open victory and you’ve 100% earned a nomination from me for POTY.

A picture says more than 1000 words sometimes. Johnson and his baby mama get bonus points for celebrating his success in style taking on the club scene in Vegas for days on end. He earned it this year.

Lydia Ko – I nominated Ko last year and said she really didn’t have a chance against the likes of Jason Day and Jordan Spieth. Technically, her 2016 doesn’t measure up to her 2015, but she did win a major and finish in the top 3 in 2 others. Oh, and she snagged an Olympic silver medal for her efforts in Rio. Besides her 1 major she also won 3 other times and has a stranglehold on the number 1 ranking in all of women’s golf.

Image result for lydia ko olympic medal

I respect the hell out of what Ko does. She’s a phenom. She’s going to dominate her sport for a decade and then some. I may end up nominating her for 10 years for my POTY and she might not ever win it. I don’t think she has great competition on her tour. If she won 3 majors and finished in the top 10 in the other 2 I’d probably give it to her. I’m not being sexist (this time) I just don’t think her year, as good as it was, stacks up with her fellow nominees regardless of gender.

Rory McIlroy – Didn’t expect to see his name, did you? He’s only number fucking 2 in the world. He only won 2 events in the final 4 Fed Ex events to steal 10 million dollars out of Dustin Johnson’s fury hands. Throw in an Irish Open victory for his resume and that’s not a bad year. Rory gets a nomination for that late surge, but also because he won with style. He attacked par 5s down the stretch of the Irish Open to hold off Russell Knox and others, he shot 65 in the final round at the Deutche Bank, and then at the Tour Championship with $10,000,000 in play, he gutted Ryan Moore with shit like this:

Ok, so that’s not really enough to win the Shutter, not without a major, but Rory did nearly carry a whole continent on his back to a Ryder Cup victory. If he wins his epic singles match with Reed and Europe wins, McIlroy is in the POTY discussion with a lot more weight.

Wait, What, Where’s….?????

That’s right, Jason Day didn’t make the cut. His year wasn’t that different from Rory’s, but his often injured body, illnesses, and weird WDs made me drop him from my list. He also hasn’t sniffed serious contention in a tournament since Bernie Sanders was still a possible nominee for the presidency. Plus, I gave him the POTY Shutter last year, I have to draw the line somewhere. Sorry Mr. And Mrs. Day.

And The Winner Is….

Welp. Fuck. I kind of gave this away for you, didn’t I? One more win and I could make a stronger case for Henrik. One major for Rory and he’s my guy. But like I always say, if my aunt had a dick, she’d be my uncle. The Player of the Year race this year is too straight forward, too vanilla, it has to be DJ and I don’t see any other way around it. Feel free to tell me that I’m wrong. Go ahead, hit the poll, make your case in the comments. This isn’t the electoral college, if you protest loud enough I just might change my mind.

Next up, Shot of the Year, and I need your help. Please tweet me, make a comment, email me, fax me, send smoke signals, whatever it takes….I need some nominees for Shot of the Year.

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The Shutters 2016: Round of the Year

Round Is More Than A Shape

Well, well, one award down, several more to go. The 2nd Shutter on the agenda is for the Round of the Year. This category is open to any round played anywhere on the planet since November 2015. Of course we mostly only hear about those played on professional tours, but if you shot 67 as a 20 handicapper and won your club championship with two hole in ones I’d probably give you some consideration if it was legit. I digress. In 2016 the nominees are all men, and all on major tours, but now you have something to shoot for next year. So do I. Lets get on with it.

The Nominees Are…

Henrik Stenson, British Open Final Round – I probably should include Phil fucking Mickelson with Henrik as a nominee thanks to his major role in what transpired at Royal Troon in July. Phil shot 65 in the final round of a major and didn’t win. If he were a betting man…..pffffffffttttt – I can’t even type that without laughing – he probably would have put a few million on himself had he known his final round tally before he teed off. Phil was great that day, but Henrik’s 63 was legendary.

Stenson had the putter going along with his normal robotic ball striking, that’s tough to beat. He made 10 birdies including 4 on the final nine to hold off any thought of a late Mickelson charge. He and Phil would have shot a best ball of 50 something had they been teammates. This wasn’t Thursday or Friday in Phoenix, this was the final round of the Open Championship in less than perfect weather. Ok, so maybe the green were a little slow, but this wasn’t St. Andrews without a breeze. He beat third place JB Holmes by 6 shots on the day and 14 for the tournament. If Phil hadn’t stayed in sight we’d be talking about Stenson’s first major triumph like we used to talk about Tiger Woods’ Pebble Beach U.S. Open victory. I’m not sure I can talk myself out of giving this one to the Iceman, it might be too obvious.

Patrick Reed/Rory McIlroy, Singles Match at the Ryder Cup – Ok this one is a dual nomination, or should I say duel. While I can single Henrik Stenson out from Phil above I can’t do the same for Rory and Patrick. Stenson became Champion Golfer of the Year for his efforts. Reed got a point for his team for beating Rory. That’s not quite the same. This was barely a month ago so I don’t think I need to rehash the highlights for you, but I won’t miss an opportunity to show them in my favorite Patrick Reed montage of all time (again).

We wanted that match up and we got it. It couldn’t possibly live up tot he hype, but then it did. The front nine rivals any stretch of golf ever played. Sure it was match play and the course was set up easy in perfect weather, but there was still Ryder Cup pressure and plenty of adrenaline flowing due to the heated competition. The theatrics, the yelling, the gesturing, the bravado, the crowd…..the match was whip cream on top of a giant ice cream sundae that was the Ryder Cup. I know Phil and Sergio shot 63s just a few groups behind Rory and Reed, but fuck Sergio and Phil’s round didn’t have the fireworks that Reed/McIlroy gave us.

Stephan Jaeger, Web.com Ellie May Classic 1st Round – You’ve probably never heard of Stephan Jaeger, or you hadn’t until July 28th when he shot 58 in the first round of that week’s Web.com event. Jaeger went out on the back nine and posted a 29. He needed a birdie on his final hole, the 9th, to post the first 58 on a major professional tour (nobody really counts Ryo Ishikawa’s 58 on a rinky dink course in Japan a few years ago).

Stephan Jaeger is congratulated by his caddie after shooting a record score of 58 in Hayward, California.

The German born Jaeger smartly laid up on that hole to make his birdie and make history, albeit briefly. His 58 would only stand alone for roughly a week. The round is still ground breaking man-walks-on-moon kind of shit and worthy of a nomination for the 2016 Shutter.

Jim Furyk, Final Round of Greater Hartford Open – Speaking of 58s…..Jim Furyk followed up Stephan Jaeger’s effort with a Round of the Year nomination of his own playing early Sunday morning in Connecticut on August 7th. Furyk of course is no stranger to sub 60 rounds, he was the last PGA Tour player to shoot a 59. No man had ever shot a 58 until Jim’s historic effort at the TPC River Highlands.

Jimbo barely made the cut that week in Hartford then slugged around Saturday with a 2 over round of 72. He was 14 shots better a day later while hitting all 18 greens and making 10 birdies and an eagle while trying to play his way on to the US Ryder Cup team. Now take a closer look at the image of the scorecard. He didn’t birdie two of the easiest holes at the TPC track, holes 13 and 15, a drive-able par 4 and a reachable par 5.

That’s the lowest round in nearly one million that have been played in the history of the PGA Tour. Say whatever you want about it, but no matter what adjective you use it isn’t hyperbole. That’s one for the ages but it did come during a pretty hollow and meaningless round played by a guy well out of contention. Sure it still counts, but it hurts how I weight it versus its peers for my Shutter for Round of the Year.

And The Winner Is…..

Jaeger. Period. Done. No, I’m fucking with you. Jaeger is only nominated as a place filler. Who am I kidding? Furyk. Get the fuck out. This is all about context. Where you shot your score and what it meant matters most. 58 seems great because no one has bettered it, but doing it in Connecticut early Sunday morning is about the most meaningless time to shoot such a score. I’d probably hand this thing right to Reed and McIlroy and not think twice about it most years, but Henrik was too good and his round earned him the biggest trophy of any of the nominees I put up for this award.

The only round I can think of (in my lifetime) that rivals what Henrik did in the final round of a major is when Anthony Kim made 11 birdies at the Masters in 2011. Kim didn’t even win, obviously. Stenson nearly equaled Kim, out-dueled FIGJAM, and posted the 30 something-ith 63 in a major. That checks all the boxes for me, and his final round at Royal Troon wins the 2016 Shutter for Round of the Year.

I think I got it right. I don’t think there’s any question, but I like to give you fuckers a say and that’s why there’s always a poll at the bottom of the Shutter posts. As always, if you vote “Other” you better leave a comment and tell me what I missed. Player of the Year is next.

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