Masters Week: The Oldies But Goodies

Blasts From My Past

Over the last 4 years I’ve written a few timely posts about the Masters, attending the tournament, and supposed secret goings on around the club. Because I don’t have time to keep up with all things going on in Augusta this week I’m aggregating my own shit from over the years in an effort to supply some of my newer readers with these older Masters themed posts.


First off, Berckman’s Place, Augusta’s VIP experience. My buddy actually got into Berckman’s a few years ago while taking his dad to the Masters and said it is better than I could imagine. Berckman’s is far from the action but still not something you turn down if you get the chance to get in.

Image result for Berckmans place

Next, this one is for you first timers – how to go, how to get there, and how to get the most out of your trip.

Image result for Augusta's 10th hole

And finally, my musings from last year about the Disneyland style resort the club was building in secret. This probably isn’t something that is really happening. They likely just wanted more space and built that Taj Mahal media center, shown below, but a guy can dream can’t he?

Meanwhile the pairings for the first two rounds were released today. I haven’t had a good look at them yet but I did see that DJ was paired with Bubba Watson in the final pairing on Thursday. Waiting all day to peg it and the Bubba experience would test anyone’s nerve. That’s a lot to overcome. I might have to change DJ from my favorite now that I see a scenario in which he could miss the cut.

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Puff Puff Pods

Another Week Another Spot

Ugh….its Houston Open week. That’s not a shot at the SHO itself but where it falls in the schedule. I can’t get excited about it when every thought in my head is about the Masters. And last week was pretty damn tasty watching the best players in the world go head to head for 7 rounds of match play in Austin. Houston is a hangover, a stop gap, a port in the storm those desperate to watch golf this weekend I suppose. The course bores me and the field isn’t anything special even tough there are some big names there. I’m hoping to ramp things up on the site next week like we used to do for the first major of the year. We’ll see what I have in me.  Set your expectations low. In the meantime feel free to familiarize yourself with a few things…..Snoop’s Masters Party for one:

Oh my….that’s….well, I don’t know that that is. Hopefully some of our favorite golf tweeters will attend and provide some coverage of it. Maybe Snoops will be on the grounds as a guest of Billy Payne this week. Maybe the magnolias have been replaced by weed. Who knows but I’m intrigued.

My other item for you to check out? Well how about my 2nd time as a guest on the Fore! Golfers Network podcast.

The podcast can be found here. Thanks again to MGL Bill for having me on. I do feel bad that he’s booked me on 1/4 of his first 8 episodes. That can’t be good for business. Fittingly he had me on for his premiere of a “Blowing Off Steam” rant where I stayed PG (for once) and went off on John Q. Golfer playing the wrong set of tees for his weekend game. Give it a listen, support the cause, and bear down for 3 more days until we can turn our full attention to the magnolias of Augusta.

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No More Tiger, No More Bridesmaids, And Possibly The Biggest Rack To Ever Walk Augusta National

There’s No Santa And There’s No More Tiger

He’s dead to me until further notice. Why? Because Tiger came out of his hole to promote his book about the 1997 Masters on Good Morning America and then sign some copies of it at book stores in New York City. What the fuck? Bro pulls out of Dubai 2 months ago, can’t make pressers in L.A. weeks later, but now he’s well enough to put on the full court press to promote some lame book? That doesn’t add up. And then when anyone has the audacity to question if he’ll play in the Masters he and Steiny get all defensive as if those assuming he won’t are out of touch? Come on TW. Does this look like a guy ready to walk 72 holes up and down hills and shoot less than 75 all four days?

God he looks awful, like a he survived nuclear fallout and was left for dead for 2 months. He did compete in some kind of putting contest with GMA host Michael Strahan. He won. Then he pumped his first like he won major number 15. Is this real life?

I can’t take any more of this. I’m getting off the Tiger train until he does something interesting, like starts banging porn stars again or actually plays in a tournament. I think the porn star thing is more likely.

I’m Not Sure They Have A Jumpsuit To Fit Her

If you’re on Twitter but not following young PGA Tour buck Grayson Murray you’re missing out. He’s a funny and entertaining dude who tells it like it is and interacts with his followers in all sorts of tomfoolery. I don’t know what his connection is to cyber queen Lindsey Pelas is, but last week he asked her to caddie for him at the Masters Par 3 Tournament if he could qualify by winning the Shell Houston Open.

That seems pretty innocent except for the fact that she saw it in her mentions and said she’s in. I know who I’m rooting for in Houston next week now. Why’s that you ask? Have you seen Ms. Pelas. Let me save you the search.

Like I said, they’ll have to special order a white jump suit for her. And good for Murray for swinging for the fences. Go get it, kid.

Bridesmaids Becoming Brides

In the last two weeks on the PGA Tour we’ve had two guys win that were more well known for coming up short than they were for closing the deal. Most recently Marc Leishman (1 previous win) took the Arnold Palmer Invitational thanks to this 51 foot eagle putt on the 70th hole of the tournament.

Leishman winning is something we can all get behind. He’s only 2 years removed from nearly losing his wife. She’s healthy now and he’s looking like dark horse candidate to sneak up on a green jacket in two weeks. Remember, he’s the guy who was paired with Adam Scott for the final round when Scotty won in 2013.

In Tampa two weeks ago Canadian Adam Hadwin made everything he looked at to hold off former amateur phenom Patrick Cantlay and get his first win. Then Hadwin was back in contention at Arnie’s place and nearly aced the 17th on Sunday to catch up with the leaders.

He was fucking robbed. But I don’t think he gives a shit. Hadwin’s win in Tampa got him into the WGC Match Play this week as well as a special invitation to the Masters in April. He’ll be sitting out the Match Play for activities involving his wedding. He’s rearranged his honeymoon to play in the Masters. Sounds like he’s got a good (read understanding) wife lined up.

I’ve got to be honest, when NBC first showed her after Adam won in Tampa I didn’t take a 2nd look. She had on a hat and glasses and didn’t move the needle. But if you dig a bit around the internet for a little more detail on her you’ll see that the future Mrs. Hadwin (Jessica Dawn) is hotter than you first thought.

You can see more of her at thanks to our friends at Golf News Net if you click that link you just read past.

That’s all I’ve got for now but lucky for you I’m scheduled to be on another podcast this week so I’ll get that linked here as soon as it goes live. Talk to you then.

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Random Thoughts With ShutFaceGolf

Two Weeks Is T00 Long

I’ve failed you. I’ve gone nearly two weeks without a post, an update, or any other kind of mention on this website. I’ve tweeted plenty but something tells me that just isn’t enough for you junkies. With that in mind I’ll do my best to catch up, give you my random thoughts on golf goings on, and make a few desperate attempts to again entertain you along the way. Here goes something…

Bitch Tits In Leather

On Monday night the Golf Channel aired Part I of David Feherty’s interview with Phillip Alfred Mickelson……and it was everything I dreamed it could be. His zings and zing-backs with Matty Kuchar, his pimping college ways and meeting Amy, and the description he provided (as only he can) about his 2nd shot at Augusta’s 13th in the final round of 2010…..glorious. This is why we love Mickelsauce. The dude is always at 11 while the rest of us rarely reach that level. And he did it all while wearing Fonzy’s coat.

Image result for phil mickelson leather coat image

Henry Winkler wore it better. Part II comes next week and it promises to be even more FIGJAM-ier. Don’t miss it. Set your DVR. There’s no better reality TV right now than Phil being interviewed or Phil on the golf course. Did you see his rounds at the WGC Mexico? Dude hit four fairways and 8 greens and still shot 68 on Saturday. Mortals would shoot 78 at best with those same stats. My favorite Phil moment of the weekend was when he clanked it off two trees with his drive at the first hole on Saturday and his ball ended up 70 yards over the green due to hitting the cart path. He hit a full 64 degree lob wedge over a huge tree then chipped in for birdie. Classic Phil.

Other Happenings At The WGC Mexico

Phil finished 7th thanks to shooting even on Sunday. Jon Rahm thrilled us, only to come up short. Rory teased us with a 65 on Friday and not much thereafter. Tommy Fleetwood back-doored a 2nd place finish. Justin Thomas played great once again away from the continental U.S., until he didn’t. But JT did snag a Spanish-style ace just to keep things exciting…

In the end it was another dominate win for Dustin Johnson. It wasn’t dominant in the margin of victory, but dominant in the fact that he was driving greens with an iron in the thin mountain air.

That’s fucked up. But snagging another WGC two weeks after becoming number 1 is a nice way of validating your place in the pecking order.

The WGC had some fun shots, lots of hole outs, and interesting shot making in the altitude, but it wasn’t all its cracked up to be. Henrik Stenson nearly shat himself thanks to getting a stomach bug and having to withdraw. Mickelson’s caddie, Bones, had similar issues and had to leave the golf course urgently to deal with it. Phil’s brother Tim stepped in to loop as Bones’ back up. Why these dudes drank the water down there is the mystery I can’t solve. But shit happens in Mexico, literally. I’ve been in their shoes. It doesn’t take much to make you ill south of the border.

And the golf course, it was a fucking joke to say the least. Being some 7,000 feet above sea level made the course play like like your local 6400 yard muni. It looked like one too with over grown trees, burnt out turf, and chump par 4s the Tour boys drove with irons and fairway woods. Take this mother back to Doral, stat.

Modernizing Golf 25 Years Too Late

The USGA announced some fun changes to the rules of golf last week (due to go in force in 2019). You can drop a ball any way you want. You will only have 3 minutes to find your ball instead of 5. You can tap down damage on the green, including spike marks. You can putt with the flag in. And you can ground your club just about anywhere you want.

Image result for usga proposed rule changes

Shorter time to search for your ball. I’m in. The rest of these are a bit too liberal for my liking. They’re going to be a mess to deal with. We’ve been told for 100 years that the flag stick being in is an advantage on the green. Now all of a sudden it isn’t? The grounding of the club thing may work out but I’m sure some dick face will learn to take advantage of that and the repairing the green rule. This is an aggressive move by the USGA. Unintended consequences will result. Get ready.

I Almost Forgot Rick

In the most boring golf tournament of 2017 Richard Fowler cleaned up on the Honda field in route to a 4 shot victory in nasty/windy conditions in south Florida. Fowler was fantastic save for a few sloppy bogies he made on his way into the barn. His putting was the difference between a win and an average T15 type of week. It doesn’t matter how you get it done if you ask me. Johnny Miller would disagree. He criticized Fowler for not closing strong. Ummm……hey dipshit. I think Rick has about 1.2 million reasons why it doesn’t matter how you close as long as you win. Its not like he got his 4th career win on a technicality. I think it showed more fortitude to rinse one on 17 and still make bogey than anything Johnny ever did. Did he not remember Fowler’s “close out” at the Players in 2015 and the onions he hit shots with on the dreaded island green?

Ray’s tweet above makes blood flow to me in funny places. That’s a helluva start to the year for golf fans that like to see the new crop of bros taking over. And let’s not forget what Dustin Johnson has done, what Phil Mickelson has shown signs of, and Jason Day……errrrrrr, ok. Maybe not JDay. Homie called out sick again with a double ear in-fuck-tion and flu like symptoms. Huh? He did that about 5 days before he had to hit a shot. Weird. Maybe he knew about the trots in Mexico. Or….????

No, come on. I’m kidding. But seriously, put the former world number 1 in a bubble until the Masters, please.

If Tiger Were A Fast Food Chain, He’d Be In And Out

Hi ohhhhhhh!!!!! Because of the porn stars…… know, the cheating……ahhh fuck it…. never mind. Since we last spoke via this medium Tiger Woods pulled out of everything (except Elin it seems) before he even hit a shot. I doubt he plays Bay Hill next week and I think the Masters is at best a 50/50 proposition. Is it because of his back, or because he knows he can’t beat anyone? Pat Perez says its most definitely not his back. Pat said this on PGA Tour radio a few weeks ago. Bad move PP.

Of course, it isn’t that I think Pat is actually wrong. I’ve said plenty of times on this site that Tiger’s biggest issue right now is playing the 6 inch course between his ears. He’s got to have some scar tissue due to his fall from dominance. Whether that was caused by injury or something else he clearly isn’t up to the task of getting past it……right now. With that in mind Pat’s statement is correct. Here’s the problem. I can say it. You can say it. Nick Faldo can say it. Johnny Miller can say it. Perez can’t. You know why, because he’s a peer who’s never sniffed a fucking major. If anything Perez is the anti-Tiger. Tiger did nothing but close tournaments and kick ass for 16 years on Tour. Perez has one of the worst final round scoring averages you’ll ever see from a guy with a 20 year career (hence the tweet above). You and I can say it because no one cares what we think. Faldo can say it, and so can Miller, because they’re god damn hall of fame players. Perez? Sorry. It is a polluted thought coming from him.

Plenty of the Twitterits think its cool that Pat was so honest and spoke his mind. In most cases that’s great. Not on this. What does he gain from calling out the best player of a generation? He looks like he has some kind of beef with Woods. I don’t think that’s the case, but I do think he’s taken some joy in knowing his old youth golf nemesis can’t tee it up and drub him while both guys are in their 40s now. I get that. Perez must have figured out his error too because he deleted his Twitter account within 24 hours of making his Tiger statements.

Oops. Sorry Pat. Thanks for playing.

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Spieth One Week, DJ The Next – I Like Where 2017 Is Headed

DJ At The Riv

I usually love watching a final round at Riviera Country Club – there’s drama, the course is great, and it is a complete 180 degrees from the shit show broadcast CBS gives at Pebble a week prior. Thanks to the weather dumping 3 inches of shit on Southern California on Friday the tourney didn’t finish on time. Add that to DJ lapping the field and the drama was gone before CBS came on the air. With that the West Coast swing was dead and gone but you can’t argue with the results and the champions it gave us. Justin Thomas twice, Hudson Swafford, Matsuyama, Spieth, and now DJ….we’ll take that.

Image result for west coast swing pga tour winners 2017

DJ on his A game, there’s probably only a few guys in the world that could even think about keeping up with him and they’d have to be on too. Spieth, Day, and Rory come to mind. Two of those three were in the field but they never pushed DJ. With the win, and Jason Day not having produced many good results over the last few months, Johnson became the new number 1 player in the world. It was a big week for DJ for other reasons as well. His baby mama announced the pending arrival of their 2nd child later this year via her Instagram.

coming soon…❤️👼🏼

A post shared by Paulina Gretzky (@paulinagretzky) on

How do you think those two celebrate DJ’s ascent to the top and latest victory?

That seems about right. Thanks to the weather and late finish away from network TV PG didn’t get her normal post-victory air time. How shameful.

The rest of the field didn’t put up much of a fight, other than Thomas Pieters. The former NCAA individual champ (who won said title at Riviera) shot 63 in the final round and finished T2 with Scott Brown. I’ve got a hunch Pieters wins soon and that may happen as quickly as this week at the Honda.

Never Ending Puns

I’ve tried to stop commenting on and rating golf broadcasts on a week to week basis unless something jumps up and has to be addressed. The broadcasts are generic in nature and don’t change much over time. CBS clearly gave Faldo a green light on making puns with lyrics from songs by Genesis (the band) during the Genesis (the sponsor) Open. He was a bit sneaky with their usage at first but by 4 pm Sunday he couldn’t stop himself. One or two would have been acceptable. Six to ten was jumping the shark….or I needed more beers.

CBS made up for Faldo’s follies by finally making good with their awkward Microsoft touch screen analysis bullshit. They took Dottie Pepper of it, let her follow live golf, and replaced her with Amanda Balionis – formerly of Amanda has a side hustle with Callaway and knows her shit when it comes to the Tour. Big upgrade for CBS and I hope this wasn’t a one off gig for her.

Image result for Amanda balionis CBS

Hopefully we see her at the Masters, the PGA Championship, and other marque CBS stops down the road.  While we’re giving out gold stars for broadcast work I’ll also give one to the Tour and DirecTV for their extra work on the Launch Pad channel the last two weeks. While I don’t understand why they set up shop on the 16th at Pebble, being on the 17th at the Riv more than makes up for it. Rick Smith is on analyzing swings while we get to see launch data from each shot and season stats for each player that comes through during their broadcast window. That is a golf nerd’s dream. I DVR it and re-watch it to get a fix during the week like any addict would. It is like porn for junkies like me.

Spieth Back In The Saddle

Jordan Spieth never went anywhere and played pretty well in 2016. The uneducated golf journos may not have realized that but it is true and his stats back it up. That being said, winning is what makes headlines and his play last week at Pebble put him back in said headlines and began Masters talk all over again. His win was nearly as dominant as DJ’s was this week on the scoreboard, but not in the stat sheet, other than his putting. That’s the only place he needs to be great. His final round par clinic was like watching paint dry but that’s what Mr. Spieth does best.

Image result for Jordan Spieth pebble beach champions

I’ll only comment briefly on the rest of the week that was at Pebble. Bill Murray gets too much attention. Cut the crap. It isn’t the Bill Murray Clam Bake. There’s not enough cameras on the Monterrey Peninsula course during the first 3 days. And can we get some accurate indices for the ams in the field? Carson Daly won the thing with a 10…he’s not a ten. He’s a sandbagging fuck. And Kelly Rohrbach isn’t a 7, let alone a scratch as I saw her referred to a few dozen times. Single digits capers don’t do this…

She’s easy on the eyes though and thank god she was in the field as Gary Woodland’s partner to give us something to gawk at. Just give her a full 15 next time. She needs them all.

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What’s Up, Pods?

Hang’in With Hobson

Bill Hobson, host of the famed Michigan Golf Live TV and radio broadcasts, has entered a third frontier of media – the podcast. Bill’s latest venture is the Fore!Golfer’s Network that gives the low down on equipment, golf trips, clinics and just about anything else golf related you might want to discuss or get more info about. The site will be home to a weekly podcast produced and hosted by Bill. There’s only two episodes released so far for your listening pleasure but it is out of the gates fast thanks to big name guests like Butch Harmon.

Image result for Bill Hobson Michigan golf live

In episode two Bill continues his chat with the legendary instructor of several major champions and then follows him up with some shlub talking about hitting golf balls in his garage. Oh wait, that’s me. We discussed my recent review of the OptiShot2 home simulator. You can listen to the full episode by hitting the link above. And you can re-read my full review of the OptiShot here. Take a look at Bill’s new site and be sure to check him out on Fox Sports Detroit this golf season for full episodes of Michigan Golf Live. Thanks again for having me, Bill. Keep the fun coming.

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Random Thoughts (Because I Haven’t Posted In A While)

Phriendly Phoenix

The Waste Management Phoenix Open hosted by the Thunderbirds was fun, wasn’t it? Oh, you didn’t see it because you needed to have your TV tuned to the Super Bowl to make sure you didn’t miss Lady Gaga? Shame on you. On Saturday they had 206,000 people show up. Read that again. That’s two times the size of a very large college football game. On Sunday they had a smaller crowds (as always) but a leaderboard with decent star power and a 4 hole playoff to entertain you well into the 1st quarter of the big game. What more could you want?

Brendan Steele probably thinks they could do with a few less people. He was a “victim” of alcohol abuse when an unruly patron threw straight fire at his own mom.

0% that’s true. Steele is obviously still a virgin. What gets lost in the Super Bowl frenzy on Sundays in PHX is that the last 6 holes are some of the most exciting in tournament golf. Eighteen itself sucks but the other holes don’t have many weaknesses. I’m partial to 17 because 95% of the field is trying to drive the green, and even if you pull that off like Webb Simpson did in the playoff you still might have to grind to make your 3 or 4 thanks to the goofy angles presented by the back left hole location. Tom Wieskopf is no slouch in designing short par 4s.

Image result for hideki matsuyama waste management trophy

In the end it was the current best player in the world and WMPO defending champ holding off Simpson in a four hole playoff. Hideki Matsuyama won for the 2nd time this PGA Tour season. I know he isn’t actually ranked number 1 but who would you put ahead of him right NOW? Justin Thomas has an argument, 3 wins and a 59 and whatnot, but he MC’d at Scottsdale and was hiking with his boy Smylie all weekend while Matsuyama was stalking more birdies.

The only bad news out of Phoenix was that Tour player Steven Bowditch got snaked for DUI Thursday night. I tend to cut a little slack for such instances when the guy is close to the legal limit. Not that the BAC level makes the crime any less wrong but the mistake is more understandable. Bowdo wasn’t near the legal limit. He was more than double it. With all the Ubers and Lyfts available how can a guy in SB’s position let this happen? Better yet, how could his caddie, friends, bartender etc. let him get in a car and drive? They fucked up just as bad. Bowditch stepped up and took full blame, tweeted about working on his problem, and then teed it up in the 2nd round of the tourney. He missed the cut as he often does these days.

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At Least Bowditch Doesn’t WD

If you had the number of rounds Tiger would complete in his comeback before he had to withdraw from a tourney due injury at 2 or less, you win the big prize. Oddly Tiger flew commercial to Dubai from California after missing the cut at Torrey Pines. He showed up for the Euro event, collected 1.5 million for being there, did some promos, shot 77 with no birdies on Thursday, then WD’d on Friday before teeing off. Word on the street is that he tweaked something while working out on Wednesday and that caused back spasms. The WD was done for precautionary reasons.

Image result for Tiger Woods dubai WD

We’ve seen this before, we’ll see it again. He’s going to be hyper sensitive about any issue he has with his back. I don’t blame him. What he needs to due is rethink where he plays and how he plays so he isn’t taxing that broken part of his body. Hey TW, play PHX instead of globe trotting for easy pay days! That isn’t hard to figure out. I’m guessing we’ll see him in L.A. in a week but there’s no way he’ll play well at the Honda a week later flying across the country. He may be there. He may finish a round. But he won’t make the cut and finish in the 50 on that course. And how the fuck is he supposed to walk the hills of Augusta National for 72 holes?

Sergio won in Dubai amid the Tiger circus. He looked dominant. So fucking what? Garcia wins plenty of regular old boring PGA and Euro Tour events around the globe. Wake me when he wins something that truly matters. We know he’s a great player. We know he’s hall of fame worthy, but the narrative on El Nino isn’t going to change until he gets a major. I don’t see it ever happening.

Video Screen Capture

Garcia’s win was his first as an engaged man. He seems to play well after each change in girlfriend. The newness of a relationship must make him forget about Jose Maria Olazabal just long enough to play well for a few months. The future Mrs. Garcia, Angela Atkins, is shown above. She was a Golf Channel reporter some time ago and still might be but no one seems to be able to confirm that. Angela isn’t my type but she’s still better looking than anything Sergio could pull down if he wasn’t a millionaire professional athlete. I wish the betrothed couple nothing buy happiness. Good luck!


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The Jon Rahm Era Beg…..No No No No…..Fuck That

He’s Good, Don’t Get Me Wrong

Jon Rahm is a bad ass. I love how he plays – his mostly go for broke style is magnificent. He’s going to make shit loads of money playing golf. He won a Brinks truck of it last year and contended from the minute he turned pro (in June at the Quicken). I wanted to pick him last week because I figured he was due but I was too chicken shit thanks to Rahm having no track record at Torrey Pines. So what does he do, jumps three shots out ahead of a bunched field on Sunday with two back nine eagles and takes his first win by the balls. Putt of the Year – he might have that locked up too thanks to this mic drop eagle on the 72nd hole.

Geez Louise with a slice of cheese. And don’t forget Rahm’s girlfriend, former ASU track team member Kelley Cahill. Yeah, the Sun Devil athlete he snagged while in Tempe with the great…..ummmmm……..eyes. She made her appearance to much of the world when she got CBS airtime with JR. We’ve seen her before, but just to make sure you didn’t forget…..her latest Insties:

I saved you the ones with Jon boy in them showing full golf tan lines like the rest of us have in July.

That’s all. Move on. Nothing else to see here except the next Tour super star and his hot girlfriend.

Image result for Kramer I'm out gif

What’s that….you want my take on Tiger? INCOMPLETE. Both courses at Torrey Pines played somewhat tough last week with the wet, thick rough. He played 4 competitive rounds in 600 days. If you expected him to make the cut you still think he’s super human. He’s never going to be Tiger of old. He’s going to be a guy. He might win 1 or 2 a year and maybe steal a major in the next 8 years. You need to change your expectations of him if you think otherwise. I like what I saw from the short game. I think he needs to move away from the ball to minimize his swing plane issues. Otherwise we just need to see more of him. Until then……wait, until tomorrow….. when he tees it up in Dubai late Wednesday night. Fuck yeah!

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Torrey Pines South Course Review Redux

Another Farmers, another re-post of my Torrey Pines course review. Enjoy!

Go To San Diego, Play The Course, That Is All

Is that really the worst way to spend a few days in the winter? If you’re not paying attention, it is Farmers Insurance Open week in San Diego. The Torrey Pines courses are in play Thursday and Friday with all the action moving to the big boy South course for the weekend. My course review from 2014 is worth the read if you have the time and have an interest in Torrey Pines.

That’s really all I have to say. More musings later. Enjoy.

Torrey Pines South Course Review

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Two For Thomas, Rors Down And Out, And More In Tuesday Takes

Thomas Takes Two

If you’re a PGA Tour fan you have to love Justin Thomas. There’s no other way to slice it. He’s talented. He’s humble. His swing is a thing of beauty. He’s young. And he’s really fucking good. About 15 months ago it would have been easy for someone to write how he’s in the next group of stars but hasn’t broken out yet, lived up to the hype, whatever cliche you want to throw out there from a lazy journo. Thomas won near the end of 2015 to give us a taste and then won the same event again in 2016 to make sure we didn’t forget about him. Then the calendar flipped.

All he’s done since then is blow away the field at the Tournament of Champions (beside Matsuyama) and dominate the Sony Open from the jump with a Thursday 59. Don’t be blinded by the 59 and let that first anecdote slip by too fast. Before the Sony he was the only man in the world who’d beat Matsuyama in a few months. Two do it twice, and then back it up with another win and rise to number 8 in the world (21 spots in two weeks!) is rarefied air.

Sure there’s been guys like Joe Durant who won 2 events to start a season and then disappeared for 11 months, but there’s also been guys like Jimmy Walker who’ve done something similar and used two quick wins to springboard their year and career. Thomas is clearly trending more toward what Walker did, minus 15 years of grinding. Thomas’ Masters odds are still in the 25 or 30 to 1 range depending on where you look. Get him while you can.

Rory’s Rib

Rory kicked off his 2017 on the Euro Tour by playing in the South African Open. He looked brilliant at times and rusty at others. He eventually lost in a 3 hole playoff to Graeme Storm, a journeyman who hadn’t won in a decade and wouldn’t even have status this year if Patrick Reed had played enough ET events in 2016. Once Rors knocked the rust off he was insanely good for stretches. Binges of birdies and eagles, 5 woods flown 300 yards, hole out eagles from the fairway. But he did lose thanks to a missed 5 footer in the playoff. Can you ever remember Tiger doing that?

Image result for Rory McIlroy rib injury

I looked at the whole week as a very positive start to the year for Rors in spite of the playoff loss. He has a lot more golf ahead of him and majors are the only thing he’s keeping track of these days. Then he announced a rib injury today that will keep him away from golf for an unknown amount of time.

I don’t think that tweet is that hot of a take. Remember a few years ago when Snedeker looked like the best golfer on the planet. He won a Pebble then sat for weeks with a rib injury and was never the same guy that season. I don’t think the whole year is a wash for Rors, but the Masters is 80 some days away. If this lingers in to mid February it will hurt his prep for Augusta.

Furyk For France

In other less than ideal news for golf fans, Jim Furyk was named the 2018 Ryder Cup Team Captain for the United States. Ugh. Sure Jim ‘deserves’ a chance because of his resume, his grit, blah blah blah…….fuck that. The dude is the biggest loser in U.S. Ryder Cup history. Look up his record, this isn’t hyperbole. He has no business being a captain based on how many times he’s been drubbed by a lower ranked Euro.

Image result for Jim Furyk ryder cup captain

Oh wait, it gets worse. He was asked by the media if being named captain meant he would not consider himself as a playing team member. He didn’t rule it out. If Jim makes it on points, which isn’t off the table with as much as he plays, he’ll play and be captain. That’s stepping on my genitals and spitting on me all in one motion. Thanks PGA of America! I don’t get how these guys can continue to ignore Fred Couples as a Ryder Cup Captain option. Yes, I know he did a few tour as Prez Cup cap, but so what? He won and the players love him. Freddie in France is the perfect combination. He’d probably bag some froggie babe (is there such a thing?) while leading the boys down the Champs-Elysees for the opening ceremonies.

What The Fuck?

That’s all I can say for this one. Take a look and you’ll see why:

So DJ goes from Kapalua to some ski vacation with Paulina and this is their idea of fun? What, did they run out of blow? This is the move of a desperate man, like she said she’d let him have a 4 way if he did it. He doesn’t look too engaged in the acts of the video minus that one scene. I expect this from Ben Crane or Bubba, not DJ. I almost took his POTY award away for this.

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