A ShutFace Christmas Tradition
Death, taxes, and a ShutFaceGolf.com Xmas post. Those are certainties of life since this blog was started nearly four years ago. Last year I gave you ‘ShutFace Clause Coming to Town’. In 2014, ‘O’Twitter Feed’ was the song of the season. And in 2013, a ShutFace classic, ‘The Night Before Golfmas‘ was born. This year, we’ll revise your favorite song about a red nosed reindeer and hit the topic of the day hard. In case you missed it, I’m talking about Tiger Woods. He’s supposed to tee it up with President-elect Donald Trump tomorrow. Just to make things interesting, he tweeted this tonight. Here goes nothing…
You know Arnie and Gary and Jack and Lord Nelson
Hogan and Snead and Faldo and Mickelson,
But do you recall?
The most famous multi-major winner of all?
Tiger the Mac Daddy Santa
Has a ton of dirty hoes
And if you ever saw this tweet
You would even say it blows.
All of the other golfers
Viewed it to laugh and call him names
They blasted poor Tiger
And put him in a bunch of memes.
Then one Christmas Eve Eve,
Mac Daddy Santa came to say,
Mr. Trump with your fake tan hide,
I’m not giving you 15 shots a side.
Then all the fan boys loved him again,
As they sat down to pee,
Tiger, the Mac Daddy Santa
You have no chance at Jack’s history!
I’ll admit, that’s not my best, but at least it is current. I told my followers I’d recreate the shot with what I have around the house and Hershey Kisses for my nipples if my tweet was liked or retweeted 100 times. With a few hours to go what is left of my dignity is looking safe. I’ll update this post if that changes before I pass out.
Merry Christmas from ShutFaceGolf.com.