What You Get Instead Of Hump Day Musings When There’s A Monday Finish
Ahhhh Phoenix. Drunks. Golf. Fake boobs. Sunshine. And all of it is combined at the 16th hole of TPC Scottsdale this week.
Who doesn’t love the Waste Management Phoenix Open? Apparently Bubba Watson doesn’t. He’s made over a million dollars in Scottsdale in the last few years, and that is without a win. He lived in the Phoenix area at one point in his life and I believe he still has a house around town. He’s shot par or better in 34 of 34 career rounds in the event. Here’s what he had to say about the course in his Wednesday presser.
He clarified that he loves the event, just not the course. His sponsors must have some tight contracts. He paraded around the PGA Merchandise Show last week in Orlando like a jackass solely for the benefit of his sponsors as well. Here’s the deal, Bub, you don’t have to like it, you just don’t have to tell everyone. That’s now how this shit works. I try to appreciate it when guys say how the feel, what’s on their mind, etc. With Bubba this ‘honesty’ comes off like a whiny bitch. That’s who he is.
Needless to say Bubba’s feelings about the golf course went viral pretty quickly. And because Bubba is so disliked by the media conglomerate that has become @NoLayingUp, a campaign to boo the lefty loser took off pretty quick. Here’s the result:
Ouch. Remember the fun loving guy that once drove his Dukes of Hazard General Lee car to this Phoenix Open everyday just a few years ago? He’s dead to the world and has been replaced with a guy that has two green jackets but not a clue about anything else.
I’m All For Turning Eldrick Into A Robot
If Tiger Woods is on the shelf and can’t play the WMPO this week, what is the next best thing? A robot named Eldrick who can do what Woods once did, that’s what. No, the metal box can’t actually
fuck porn stars play golf like TW, but he did make an ace in the Wednesday practice round.
Neat story, but that’s all it is. Why does McCord have ownership of this thing? Has his playing career gone so AWOL that he has to play through a droid? Speaking of Gary, he’s not working this week because NBC/Golf Channel has the coverage. That means his buddy David Feherty is back on TV and working the grounds at TPC Scottsdale. David was on the air today with Roger Maltbie, Mark Rolfing, and other NBC jabronies and didn’t miss a beat. He has good chemistry with Raaaj and Peter Jacobson. I assume Johnny Miller is working the weekend and I’ll be watching to hear how David and Johnny mesh.
Last Night In Dubai
Rory McIlroy, Henrik Stenson, and Louis Oosthuizen teed it up in the same group in Dubai last night and entertained me until I fell asleep. Oosthuizen was +1, but Stenson and Rory combined for -7 and are in the hunt heading into the weekend. Rory’s 68 was effortless. He’s going to post -20 under over there and probably win by 2, but for now he trails Alex Noren by 2 shots. The field is dead solid outside of those three. GMac made the trip. Els is there. Quiros is lurking. And Joost Luiten, a Euro veteran, is also in the field. Why do you care, well, Joost is in the -3 boat with Stenson, but he also broke a tooth while playing the 13th hole on Thursday and had to find a dentist.
Ouch. Now, what about the dentist? I don’t know how you say her name so we’ll just call her Eve. Eve’s a Dutch dentist working in Dubai. How many beers….well, how much laughing gas would you need to take that on? Can you get a boner on laughing gas? She’s not my type but I’m sure there’s some fappers out there reading this ready to give her a jump.
Oh, I almost forgot. Lee Westwood is in the Dubai field as well. He’s +3 after one round and in 111th place out of 130 players. He’s an absolute chopper these days and is on his way to Ryder Cup exile. This pleases me. Lee’s a dick and he’s been a thorn in the side of Team U.S.A.