A Crazy Mother Fucker Named ShutFace
Yes, I’m an N.W.A. fan. Am I not allowed to be as a golfer? Whatever your opinion on gangsta rap is be damned, we’re here today to condemn the USGA for their recent decisions regarding our handicap system. No, I’m not completely (only somewhat) outraged by what they’ve done, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t an idiotic decision.
In case you missed it, the USGA put out new rules on posting scores for your handicap index. And the interwebs came unglued in outrage. The quick and dirty of it is this: “Tournament scores” are more specific. Adjusting hole scores for un-played holes has been clarified. And scores can no longer be posted when you’re playing alone.
The fuck? So this game of honor we play. This game of high integrity…..the USGA is essentially saying they don’t trust us to post scores when we play alone. Fuck that. Quite honestly, I play about 25% of my rounds alone. I have kids. I have a life. I moved last year. My golf friends aren’t always available. So now those rounds I play as a single shouldn’t count? Get out. When I play a 4 ball match with buddies they’re giving 4 footers for bogey when you’re out of hole. When I play by myself, I putt everything out. I play it like I would a tournament. I’d be bored as fuck out there if I didn’t play that way. Without putting some kind of pressure on your game, what would be the point of being out there? I’m counting that score, fuck the USGA.
Why’d the dandruff covered blue coats of Far Hills do this? Because the USGA is full of country clubbers that want to make sure their opponents’ indices are legit. They don’t want a true scratch player posting 85s while “playing alone” and getting 10 bumps in their Saturday money game. Does it really matter? No. Private clubs typically already do handicaps their way to keep things on the up and up. The new USGA rules are already their policy. Public golfers will still post whatever they want. You’re not going to have 45 local golf associations reprogram their posting systems to require electronic signatures verifying scores, etc. For now there will continue to be plenty of outrage about this change, but the USGA won’t hear it and won’t care. Therefore I won’t give a shit either. Fuck it. We’ll barely remember our anger when we next post a score in April.