I’m Angry….So Why Not Hit You With Some Hump Day Musings

Rich Beem Is No Patriot

I suppose any publicity is good publicity for the Hong Kong Open. The HKO is, believe it or not, a European Tour event. It is the ET’s last ‘regular’ event of their season before their version of the playoffs start…..Race To Dubai….whatthefuckever. The field was set two weeks ago except for whomever the sponsor wanted to use exemptions on. Rich Beem, for one reason or another, was selected to get a sponsor spot. On Tuesday he was informed that a crisis was occurring when the Euro Tour brass realized Ian Poulter had fallen out of the top 50 in the world rankings. That meant he wouldn’t be eligible for the upcoming WGC event in China that he won just 2 years ago. The WGC event also counts as a Euro and PGA Tour event. Playing in it would qualify Poulter as an ET member as having played the minimum number of events. Why does this matter? If he weren’t a member he wouldn’t be eligible to make or be picked for the 2016 Ryder Cup team.

I’m sure he reaction looked something like that. It is also what he looks like after he pulls a wax strip off the area around his vagina. I digress. Poulter had to get into the Hong Kong field to avoid disaster. Yes, the Euro Tour has made exceptions for players before, Rory McIlroy for instance, but I’m sure they wanted to avoid that PR hit this time around. They’d look like dip shits. It would be much easier to give Rich Beem a big check (that he wouldn’t have gotten anyway because he can’t make a cut) and send him home with Ian getting his spot. Dude…Beemer, bro…..why not keep that spot and send IJP packing? DL3 would have made you a vice capitano for 2016 on the course you won your major on. Grr………damn it Rich!

Instead Poults made an emergency trip to Hong Kong just to tee it up. He didn’t even bring his regular caddie who is on vacation. Here’s exclusive footage ShutFaceGolf.com has obtained of IJP arriving in Asia.

Like I needed more ammunition to aim at Poulter. First off Ian, get your shit together. Know where you stand, manage your schedule better, and don’t put your home tour on the spot. Second, this is bad juju for him at the Ryder Cup. Didn’t he take the collar at the 2014 matches? He used all his magic at Medinah. He’ll be dead weight for the Euro team by Hazeltine next year. Sign this pussyfart up. You’re off the hook, Rich.

Mid-Am Chump

That isn’t a typo. Remember a few weeks ago when I told you Sammy Schmitz won the U.S. Mid-Am and then I went on a rant about former pros being allowed to play in that championship? Well, if you didn’t like that or don’t want more of it, just move on to the next blurb. Ok, did those fuckers leave? Good. Now we can talk about Schmitz again. Let me remind you first that Sam is a former pro. He got his amateur status back and is a health care manager of sorts in Minnesota. Being the U.S. Mid-Am champ, he also has an invitation to play in the Masters next spring. Sam apparently thinks he needs a bunch of cash to play in the first major of 2016 and therefore started a GoFundMe page to raise 30k for his Masters run.

Oh fuck off. He can play Augusta National almost anytime he pleases between now and the tourney. He can drive to Augusta from Minnesota, fly, do whatever he wants to get there and not need that kind of cash to do it. This is pure bullshit. Also, he’s an amateur (supposedly), what is he trying to accomplish with his extra cash? He can stay with a member while there. He can stay in the Crows Nest. Is he planning on quitting his job or something? And isn’t this basically turning professional again? Doesn’t that void his exemption to the Masters? It should. How is GoFundMe different than having sponsor invest money in you to allow you to golf on mini-tours? It isn’t. Fuck this guy for what he’s doing.

And has anyone donated to him? Why yes, yes they have. And they’ve given so much that he closed his GoFundMe efforts after 3 days. He hit 25k and decided he didn’t need anymore. Huh? Where did the 30k come from then? He should be embarrassed. And the USGA should strip is amateur status.

No, They Didn’t Say Royal Flush

They said Royal Portrush, as in, that is where the 2019 Open Championship will be played as announced by the R&A earlier this week. Why should you care? Mostly because the Open hasn’t been to Royal Portrush (or anywhere in Ireland) in 70 years. In 1951, Portrush hosted the Open and that was the only time in its history the championship was not contested in England or Scotland. The course is legendary, quaint, and full of character. Most have thought the Open had outgrown a site such as RPR. These same people said the same thing about Merion ever hosting a major championship in modern times. Luckily for golf fans, the USGA and R&A are more open minded and have given classic venues another chance at glory.

Hosting an Open will not be without challenges at this venue. Golf Channel’s story on the announcement claims that 2 new holes will have to be built and staged as 17 and 18 for the championship. Has that ever happened at a major? This has Rory McIlroy’s fingerprints all over it just like the USGA using Torrey Pines as a championship venue for Tiger Woods. Hey, dominant players like that bring eyeballs to your event. It is sometimes best to scratch their back for scratching yours. Oh by the way, McIlroy shot 61 to set the course record at Royal Portrush when he was 16. He might be a slight favorite to win the Open in ’19. Call it a hunch.

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4 Responses to I’m Angry….So Why Not Hit You With Some Hump Day Musings

  1. Pingback: Sammy Schmitz Raises $25,000 to Pay For Masters Prep

  2. Pingback: Non-American Golf Tour Weekend Round Up |

  3. Pingback: The Shutters 2015: Shot Of The Year |

  4. Pingback: The Masters 2016: Round 1 |

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