New Sheriff In Town
Did you even know who Jimmy Walker was 18 months ago? Be honest. If you didn’t, shame on you. If you knew him as the guy with a pretty swing who likes astrology, well that wasn’t too far off. Now thanks largely to Butch Harmon, Jimmy is a cold blooded assassin on the PGA Tour. He’s not unbeatable, but when he leads after 54 holes he’s one of the few Tour players that doesn’t piss himself. He just wins.
Today at the Texas Open Jimmy Walker started his day with a 4 shot lead. He was paired with Jordan Spieth and Billy Horschel. I wouldn’t trust a 4 shot lead with those guys on my heels. Perhaps that is what fueled Walker today as he showed no let up when his pursuers gave chase. Walker matched Spieth shot for shot to increase his lead. That kind of play makes for a stress free stroll up the 18 with all your friends and neighbors cheering you on (Walker lives in the area).
You are number 1, Jimmy. Even though the OWGR say you’re only number 10, you’ve lead the Fed Ex standing for 46 of the past 60 weeks. How can that be? Walker dominated a decent field in San Antonio this week, as did mother nature. On Thursday the morning wave of players struggled to a scoring average 4 shots higher than the afternoon group. Half the field was toast before noon on Thursday. Walker posted -11 for his 72 hole total. Only 9 other players finished the event under par. And just in case you forgot, this is Walker’s 5th win in his last 37 starts. Only Rory’s 6 wins rank higher.
Everything is rosy for Walker right now. His wife Erin is looking even hotter these days sporting longer locks.
Jordan Spieth played is guts out today in an unrewarded effort to try to run down Walker. Sloppy bogies on the front 9 should have ended his chances. Then the 21 year old goes out and birdies 14, 15, 16, and 17……to gain only 2 shots on Walker. NBC caught Jordan telling his caddie what need to be done on 17 and 18 to try to catch Walker. He said something like, “we have to hole this then eagle 18”. You have to admire his spirit, among other things. Spieth might be the most consistent player on tour right now. He also might have the best short game. Oh, and Jordy just bought his first house right down the road from Mark Cuban. He’ll be okay even though he didn’t win this one.
Phil made a rare appearance this week in San Antonio. He was only a few shots off the lead on Friday and looked like he was playing well, in spite of breaking his 8 iron while hitting a shot from a fairway bunker. Then he shit the weekend.
Nice job by the Golf Channel giving that the full 360 degree analysis. Phil’s reaction was priceless. As for FIGJAM’s play itself, I’m starting to wonder if he’s got anything left in the tank. You never know with Bitch Tits. He’s as likely to win at Augusta in 2 weeks as he is to be dead fucking last (outside of the old guys who shouldn’t even be playing).
Mickelsauce wasn’t the only guy with an equipment issue at the Texas Open, Troy Merritt’s curious 2 iron malfunction might be even more bizarre.
How the fuck does that happen? Merritt made bogey on the hole and made the cut but finished 71st.
Shot Of The Week/Day
The Shot of the Week is a no brainer, Aaron Baddeley ripped his first tee shot out of bounds on the 345 yard par four 17th on Thursday evening. He re-teed and holed out the next stroke, his 3rd, for birdie. Wow.
And because the morning had such shit weather and it took the players so long to finish their rounds there was no video evidence of Baddeley’s rare birdie. Did he have to buy drinks for that?
The Shot of the Day belongs to SFG favorite John Peterson. He flagged this beauty and got nothing but a rim job to show for it.
That is straight up junior prom. All lip, no hole.
There’s No Truth To The Rumor That Donald Wanted To Instead Play Soccer
Late Saturday tweets and Instagrams from Keegan Bradley, Luke Donald, and their significant others started to go viral with rumors of Bradley’s wet dream having come true. No, not him winning the Masters, its Keegs giving Tom Brady a hand job…..errrrrr….. I mean playing golf and hoops with Tom Brady and Michael Jordan. For some reason, Luke Donald was there too.
Do these jabronis not have collared shirts? There is video of the pick up bball game, but all it shows is a plump Jordan talking shit and hitting a lightly contested jump shot. His physical appearance confirms that Gatorade is full of carbs. G2 my ass.
And if I’m Bradley, I’m not stepping within 10 feet of a basketball game with 8 days between me and Masters week.