The Ryder Cup Sucks When Your Team Loses

You Get What You Deserve For Wearing Red Pants

Forgive me for being a little out of the loop over the last three days. Life in the ShutFace household is full of change and I was in Wisconsin all weekend playing golf on some major courses. Of course, if you follow me on the Twitter you already know that. More on these topics later when life gets a little more normal again. In the meantime, let’s talk Ryder Cup, if only briefly.

Unless you too were also playing 72 holes over the weekend, you already know what happened in the Ryder Cup. You probably watched more of it than I did. The short story is that the United States team lost as expected, and it really wasn’t close. Patrick Reed had a breakout – dare I say ‘top 5’ performance, Phil took a swing at Tom Watson (verbally), and Europe looks as unbeatable as ever. Maybe if the Americans weren’t too busy playing grab ass like they are in this picture they’d be able to focus on golf.

Hunter Mahan

Did they have to do that after losing a bet to someone on the Euro team…..I dunno. Either way fuck them, these two are both top 10 players in the world right now and they nabbed a whole 1.5 points between them. Those points were largely due to Rick getting three halves thanks to his partner, Jimmy Walker, carrying Fowler across the finish line.


The big news after the Euro’s kicked American ass was what Phil Mickelson said in the post-cup presser. Phil questioned why the U.S. ever went away from the pod strategy used by Paul Azinger in 2008. That’s fair enough. I could question a lot more about what Watson did. Like why did Patrick Reed and Jordan Spieth sit on day one when they were the hottest to players on the course? Both said they were shocked with Watson’s decision to sit them and that they did their best to change his mind, to no avail.

Then Watson sat Phil Mickelson and Keegan Bradley all fucking day on Saturday during team matches. What?!? How can you do that? The two are nearly unbeatable together and especially in the four ball format. If you want to sit them for foursomes because Phil can’t find a fairway, fine. He could use the rest for Sunday. To not play them and to give no acceptable reason for it is asinine. Yet Jim Furyk plays 4 times? Watson looked like a senile old man when trying to justify any of his decisions to the press……and don’t even get me started on picking Webb Simpson.

Watson’s ideas for fourball teammates were the reasons the U.S. got lambasted in the first place. @NoLayingUp’s tweet shown here sums it up perfectly.

I certainly couldn’t have said that any better. What we know for sure is that something has to change for the U.S. First, don’t let PGA Prez Ted Bishop have all the control he seems to have. He’s not getting it right. Let someone with some fresh ideas take charge. Second, change when captain’s picks are made. Take the hotter players and don’t make an arbitrary date for the cutoff. And third, make sure the next captain actually cares about winning. We’ve had a decade or so of guys playing in these that are not gutsy winners. If anything they’re chokers. And now they’re all primed to become captains. Please no, no Stricker, no Furyk, no old guys from the Champions Tour. Let Phil put his money where his mouth is, or just take Zinger or Couples again. They’re proven pricks………errrrrr picks.

Reed Breaks Out

If there was any good that came from losing these exhibition matches it was seeing Patrick Reed look like he was ready to take on the world all by himself. Reed of course backed that up by going 4-0 in the matches. Earlier in the year when Pat and Jimmy Walker were playing so well I questioned both of them as for how they could contribute to the Ryder Cup and likely called them some derogatory word to indicate that I didn’t think they should be on the U.S. team. So of course they turn out to be the most reliable dudes on the squad. I’ve been critical of Reed, and his play has been awful since April (likely due to his child being born), but his perfect record and crowd interaction has won me over.

That will make you public enemy number 1 in Europe for a long time. I love it, obviously, even if he is wearing red trousers.

Party Time

What do you do when you win the cup for your country/continent? You get fucked up, and Rory couldn’t wait to get started.

This Vine has lead to a good 456 premature ejaculation jokes being made around the interwebs. That seems fitting after his talk about how he’d be a virgin without golf only last week. Rors and his ‘mates got all hopped up after the big win and then things god weird.

Rory McIlroy

I guess he lost the same bet as Bubba and Rick.


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4 Responses to The Ryder Cup Sucks When Your Team Loses

  1. BB says:

    If there’s one good thing about this Ryder Cup- it should finally put to rest the mantra of recent US captains picking “experienced losers”. Mahan puked yet again on the 18th in singles when there was still a tiny glimmer of hope. Gotta try young and hungry, nothing else has worked the last 10 times.

  2. Craig says:

    FIGJAM may have had a point, who knows? But it was totally the wrong fucking place to bring it up. All it showed was that FIGJAM puts himself before the team.

  3. says:

    As much as I don’t care for Azinger, he has a point. he US needs a better system, hell the US needs a System period. This Ted Bishop and his good old boy system is useless. The one problem I have with the “pod system concept” is no one seems to remember that the Euros had a team mutiny that year. No one liked Faldo and he was condemned as arrogant and a bad comunicator. Sound familiar?!

  4. Billy Batts says:

    Phigjam is probably tired of losing (after being on 8 losing teams) and was probably frustrated in not playing on Saturday also. This was probably the time and place to nut up on the current system, he had an audience and they did ask his opinion after all. I really think that he wants to win a couple of these before he’s put out to pasture.

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