Hump Day Musings: Ryder Cup Edition

Rory’s New Stick

News broke early in the week that Rory McIlroy was trying a new driver at Gleneagles and was seriously considering using it in his upcoming matches. That sounds like the stupidest thing one could do when you’re already the best driver of the golf ball on the planet. Rors is toying with a prototype from Nike that is a black headed model called the Vapor. He says he can carry it 8 yards further and has more work-ability with it. If he uses it, I won’t be surprised. He’s never been scared of changing on the fly. The big $woosh will of course be thrilled by it.

If I’m Paul McGinely, I’d find the prototype and break it in half then throw it in a pond. Why let Rory put himself under the microscope for such a decision? Remember what Phil did at Oakland Hills in 2004? That was when he switched to all Callaway equipment. He played like shit in the matches that week and he wasn’t even close to being on form. I’m not predicting Rory will do the same, but why take the risk? Try the driver when your entire home continent isn’t putting so much stock in your golf game.

Ted Being Ted

If you read my previous post, or have been on the internet at all looking at golf content for the last 48 hours, you’ve seen Rickie Fowler’s haircut. What you may have missed is PGA of America president, Ted Bishop, copying it to the best of his ability (thinning white hair be damned).

Rickie Fowler

I don’t care what Rick does with his, but Ted following Fowler’s lead is a bit dorky like a soccer dad trying to wear skinny jeans. The Euro press probably agrees. Hell, the Telegraph went as far as to describe Rick’s do as ‘thuggish jingoism’ . Let me guess, you have no fucking clue what that means???? Let me help.


  1. extreme patriotism, especially in the form of aggressive or warlike foreign policy.
    synonyms: extreme patriotism,

Derogatory? Who gives a fuck? As Americans we all could/should have been offended by Ian Poulter’s hair a few 100 times over the years. Ted’s cut is simply a ‘jump the shark’ moment. And what exactly does the journalist that wrote this about Fowler want him to do with his hair now that he’s already shaved USA in there? He can’t grow it back. Rickie should point to it after every putt he nails this week. Then once he secures a point he should grab his dick and yell “fuck the queen” (which is not another Poulter reference). There’s your jingoism, cock sucker.

Where Are The WAGs? 

Two days in and no true WAG sightings yet. Of course they’ll show up at the opening ceremonies on Thursday, but golf media outlets shouldn’t wait that long to tell us who made the trip. We know the wives, they’re staples. Who came with the unmarried players? We know that Jordan Spieth stole his girlfriend, Annie, away from classes in Lubbock, Texas for a week in Scotland.

She’s alright, but not my type.

So the real mystery is who will show up on Rory’s and Rickie’s arms. In 2010 Rickie was a captain’s pick and he brought Olin Browne’s daughter Alexandra. You know her, she’s the pretty young thing that has recently blossomed before our eyes. I discussed her relationship with Fowler here during the week of the British Open.

View this post on Instagram

😃 #Nashville

A post shared by Alexandra Browne (@alexandrabrownemusic) on

Will we see her with RF this week? Don’t count on it. That Insty from her account shown above is recent, like yesterday. I think she’d be en route or already in Scotland if she was showing up. I’m guessing Rick and Martin Kaymer are both flying gay solo at the ceremonies. Which leads us to Rory? My gut says he too shows up alone, or perhaps walks in with GMac who’s wife is likely home with their 3 week old child. That would be cute, especially considering the rumors of strife between those two.


Vegas odds indicate that the United States’ Ryder Cup team is a 2:1 underdog in this thing. That’s fine, as long as you realize that the only reason odds are ever created is to even the money being bet on each side of an outcome. What Vegas is telling us is that the betting public doesn’t get golf. They see no Tiger, Phil playing shitty, and a kid like Rory playing for the other side of the pond and they’re betting against a scrappy group of Americans. I think George Washington and his army were 4:1 in Vegas.

The 2014 Ryder Cup can go either way. Believe that. Home soil means shit this time around because the course was designed by Jack Nicklaus. Team Europe doesn’t know it much better than Team USA. The style of it will be very familiar to the Americans. Now think about motivation. Captain McGinely has stated publicly that he knows the U.S. team is gunning for Rory and Poulter. They’re sick of Poulter’s Ryder Cup heroics, and they want World Number 1’s head on a platter. I think the motivation is heavily in favor of the Americans thanks to this kind of focus.

As for the captains, I think Watson will shit all over McGinely. Add that in with a Nicklaus track that sets up well for Team USA and you can start to smell victory. What will put the away team over the top?  Well……putts have to fall, and they have to fall when matches are in the balance. Skeptics like to talk about the weak links on the American team, but the reality is that they can win this without getting a single point from Patrick Reed. And there’s also the slim chance that Reed goes on a birdie binge and is a Ryder Cup hero. We’ll see.

Put it all together and I’ve got Team USA 15.5 to 12.5, and I think it will be a very exciting exhibition. Everyone will contribute something, even Reed. And they’ll all be chanting USA from a balcony on Sunday evening. What say you?



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4 Responses to Hump Day Musings: Ryder Cup Edition

  1. Billy Batts says:

    “There’s your jingoism, cock sucker.” Spoken like a true American, I love it.

  2. says:

    The Euro reporters seem to forget the year all the British Euros showed up with bleachd blonde hair. Rickys hair is Rickys hair, enough said. He’s 25 and a rich world traveling pro golfer, he can do what ever he wants with his hair! Since Kaymer, Fowler, Rory and Sergio are all good buds maybe they will share Sergios GF, she is a little on the skinny side but hay why not! If she’s living wiht Sergio she has to have a screw loose.
    I hope you are right about the final score on Sundays. I a ready for a USA win. Then they can have a second competition and see which team plane get back to Florida first¡!

  3. rdaug says:

    I’m not a Patrick Reed fan and he’s been really inconsistent of late, but he was undefeated in match play in college…during which time his team won back-to-back National Championships. So I’m really hoping he delivers.

  4. YellowTrash says:

    Rory’s old driver thought the first five minutes of the phone call was a joke.

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