No Golf This Week….Fuck That Noise, Its Another Edition Of Hump Day Musings

The Kid Has Timing

Billy Horschel isn’t even 48 hours removed from winning 13 million dollars. He’s finally home, he’s looking forward to some rest after a grinding playoff run, and his wife’s water breaks. Billy announced to his Twitter followers that the couple was off to the hospital last night to prepare for the arrival of daughter, Skylar. As you can see by the tweet below, everything went to plan and the Horschel’s life can’t get much better than it is right now.

Bill later tweeted that the big man upstairs has been pretty good to him lately. No shit? I wouldn’t even know where to start, but I’d be pinching myself in every way possible. As for the timing of the birth, Skylar came about two weeks early. How does this happen? They say labor can be triggered by sexual intercourse. Something tells me the Horschel’s were celebrating a Fed Ex crown the right way and the human body took over from there. Good for them, and congrats again. Mrs. H is making a strong case for the next WAG of the Month thanks to taking a victory romp for the team, giving birth and pressuring Bill to hang in there and win the cup no matter what is happening with her pregnancy.

If Only This Was Due To A Shark Bite

You may recall Funk’s spot for Mitsubishi in which he is easily distracted by some school girls and turns his yard into a war zone thanks to a rogue chainsaw whipping about…

That’s humorous to most of us, but probably less so to Greg Norman these days. Norman is well over 50 and therefore is eligible to golf on the Champions Tour. Fred Funk is also of age to play on the old man tour. Apparently being an old golfer means you also like to play with chainsaws. Last week outside his Florida home, the Shark was trimming trees and slipped a bit which allowed his running chainsaw to plunge into his left wrist. FUCK!!!!!!!

We don’t have a pic of the situation, but it sounds as though it was pretty nasty. Norman said he stayed calm and received immediate medical attention. Doctors were able to fix him up and save him from losing his hand. He was within fractions of an inch from losing the hand and damaging a major artery. He’s since been released from the hospital and has to walk around with this thing on:

Better to look like a huge dork than to lose your hand I suppose. Normal later told the Today show that he had a bad feeling about what he was doing when he got the chainsaw out to use. Huh? Then why did you start it up, dip shit. Even when looking the fool, Norman’s ego still comes out full throttle.

Aren’t Tour Pros Supposed To Make 55 In A Row? 

Before Rory McIlroy let his first shot fly in Atlanta on Sunday NBC caught him warming up on the putting green with his caddie, his putter, and a putting aid. What followed was Rors drilling 55 consecutive and NBC showing it to us at high speed. Great video, great stuff, very amusing…….almost mesmerizing really. Here it is again if you missed it:

In reality, when you have the line down and a putting aid at your feet, this isn’t as hard as it looks. I reviewed the Dave Pelz Putting Tutor last week, I obviously own one, and if I got that thing on the right line even I could go on a run of about 30 in a row. Those are pretty easy without pressure and nothing on the line. Let’s also remember that if Rory was such a great putter he would not have four putted twice last week in Denver.

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