Hopefully Mrs. Mahan Doesn’t Try To Eat The Trophy
Whew…..what a weekend. And you fuckers thought I just walked off the face of the earth and forgot to post? Not happening. I took a little vacay and tried to stay away from the computer as I golfed my ball and splashed in lakes. While I was away the Barclays was contested at Ringworm…….errrrr…..Ridgewood Country Club in Paramus, New Jersey. Jim Furyk and Jason Day played in the final group and Furyk again failed to convert a 54 hole lead for the umpteenth time in the last 3 seasons. In the end it was solid play from Hunter Mahan that boosted is sorry season to date to the top of the Fed Ex standings after one playoff event.
Hunter took the tournament by the balls by making birdie on 5 of 8 holes to start his back nine en route to a final round 65. Playing in the penultimate group, Mahan posted 14 under on the long and rugged composite Ridgewood track which left contenders like Tringale, Day, Furyk, Kuchar, and Appleby in the dust and out of holes. Clearly, this is the best Mahan’s game as looked all year. He’s a ball beater, and when he makes putts he can win on any given week. Is that enough to be one of Tom Watson’s picks for the Ryder Cup team?
We’ll have to wait and see. I’d say yes, barring someone jumping up and taking Boston by storm next week. This should lead to Watson taking Snedeker, Bradley, and Mahan with Dufner now all but officially on the shelf. All 3 picks would be justifiable and deserved, but in the back of my mind I’ll be wondering about what Mahan really has going on inside his head when the cup is on the line. I’ll never forget this choke job from 2010:
What do I know? Maybe Hunter has something to prove because of that and being left of the 2012 team of losers from Medinah. Watson has some big decisions coming his way around this time next week, but I’m struggling to make a case for anyone other than the 3 I’ve listed above.
Kandi Isn’t So Dandy
Most of you probably know that Hunter Mahan’s wife, Kandi, is a former Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. When you’re a millionaire professional athlete, even if you’re as butt fucking ugly as Mahan, you get access to prime time ass like an NFL cheerleader. That is the way of the world, I have accepted it. You should too. As you can see below, Kandi was nothing to sneeze at in her cheerleading prime. While she was probably the ugliest chick on the squad, she did the right thing by latching on to Hunter at first site of his checking account balance.
As you can see by the picture of her with Hunter and the Barclays trophy up top, she’s had a hard time coming back from having a kid 13 months ago. Recall that Mahan WD’d from the 2013 Canadian Open while hitting balls before his 3rd round as the leader of the tournament. A year is a long time. My wife worked a full time job and had herself back at her ‘playing weight’ within 12 weeks of having a kid. Kandi has access to nannies and personal trainers galore. She’s no longer a cheerleader, but as a trophy wife her lone job is to look like a hot milf every waking hour. Clearly she’s let herself enjoy day time television and junk food in her first year of motherhood.
Oh, you think I’m being too harsh? Hey, its a fact. I’d love to stick Hunter with a shot of truth serum and see what he really has to say about his wife’s diet and workout regimen.
Rip me all you want for that, I can take it. My guess is that when you fuckers saw Kandi come out for the trophy presentation you thought the same thing. Lets just pretend we didn’t see and enjoy the pictures of the old Kandi I’ve provided.
Phil Was Where?
Friday afternoon at the Barclays was a little sleepy on the Golf Channel’s broadcast even with Rory and Phil both battling the golf course intent on making the weekend. Then Phil went all Phil. By now you’ve seen it because I’m 3 days late and $100 short on this one. The 5th hole at Ridgewood is a 295 yard par 4. Phil was playing it as his 14th hole of the day when he lashed a driver 60 yards left of the green up into a hospitality area. The ball stayed on the astroturf that the patrons watch from and instead of Phil taking relief from it the fans egged him into hitting his 2nd shot as it lay. Only FIGJAM.
Phil made bogey, but did so in the most flamboyant way that one can and hung on to barely make the cut. What could he possibly do to top that Saturday in round 3. Hit it in the same tent and make par? You got it. It doesn’t sound possible, but anything is possible when you put a driver in Bitch Tit’s hands.
Classic Phil. Unfortunately he hacked it around so bad on Saturday that he failed to survive the 3rd round cut (too many players made the 36 hole cut). New Jersey fans with Sunday tickets didn’t get to see their beloved lefty gambler. On his final hole of the round Phil also made a $20 bet with a fan that he’d make birdie from the rough just off the 18th fairway. He failed and paid the fan in full after he walked off the green. And all of that is why golf fans love him. Don’t ever change, Phil.
Shot Of The Week
This category is a little light this week. There were some good ones, but if I have to pick just one I’ll give it to the sniper that took out the volunteer marshal at Ridgewood. As the boys at No Laying Up point out, this was pin point accuracy at its best.
Fat guys fall hard.
Did Tiger Dump Sean For Rory?
As I opined last week, Tiger Woods has a serious bromance going on with Rory McIlroy. There simply isn’t enough room in his heart for other men, therefore TW broke the word to the golf media on Monday that he was no longer going to be working with swing coach Sean Foley. Well, who didn’t see that coming?
Rumors that TW and Butch would be working together again soon started circling about 8 or 9 weeks ago. As of the time of this post Woods still hasn’t said who his next teacher will be. And Butch has stated that he hasn’t been contacted by Tiger. That’s all bull shit. Who is left for Tiger to go to? He’s not going to join the Sea Island choir boys and see Todd Anderson. I think they all have to go to church together before lessons. Can you see Woods doing that? To me it is Butch or nobody. In reality, he should do to Rory what Adam Scott did to him, that being, copy a swing that you want with a Xerox machine.
What does this news mean for now? Jack shit until we get an official announcement as to who Woods will learn from. The fact that Tiger can’t even hit balls for 3 more months makes the change even more interesting. It also sounds like a poll question. Who do you think Tiger ends up with as his next instructor?