My Extreme Speculation On Why DJ Is Taking A Mysterious Leave From The Tour

‘Tis A Helluva Drug

As always, I’m going to say what no one else can or wants to. That’s what this site is for, and I’m not going to stop now because of the sensitivity of the subject. In case you’ve been under a rock for most of Thursday afternoon, Dustin Johnson announced that he’s taking a leave of absence from the tour to essentially get his shit together. He withdrew from Firestone on Monday and today says he won’t play in the PGA Championship next week or the Ryder Cup. Wow.

This really is quite shocking news. Just yesterday I opined that his WD this week had something to do with Paulina. After hearing the news I even offered a similar thought via Twitter. Then my mind raced to PEDs and the tour catching up with him to suspend him. There is speculation everywhere on why he’s really taking time off because the tour makes no statements about suspensions (which is what this could actually be). Plenty of golf journos are hinting that this is an official suspension by saying he’ll be back in exactly 6 months, meaning that is how long he’s been suspended for.

The evidence we have doesn’t exactly support that, at least not a suspension for PEDs. Why announce one day that you’re taking the week off, then come back 4 days later and say you’re out indefinitely? Then, Paulina posts that pic of the two of them on the green that I showed you yesterday…..and deletes is from her Instagram account today? He did have a drink in his hand in the pic. What does it all mean? Who fucking knows, but I’ll take a stab.

If you Google “coke whore” you get 67 pages of Paulina ‘Dustin Johnson cocaine’ you get a good 85,000 hits back. He’s got his own rumors that aren’t too hard to find about his use of the powder while in college at Cocaine errrr…….Coastal Carolina. And Paulina, she was born with a silver coke spoon under her nose. That’s what money and fame can do to a little girl with daddy issues. The two probably met at a nose candy party. And when you tell the world that you’re taking time off to work on yourself, getting healthy, “personal challenges” etc., that might as well be code for rehab. He can thank his so called better half for aiding his habit.

This picture from his future mother-in-law almost looks like she’s taking the kids off to rehab, doesn’t it?

Golf fans can only hope DJ gets off the white horse and back in action for 2015 when the tour lets him come back and play. That’s the best case scenario. The worst? See Kim, Anthony. The only remaining question in my mind is whether or not his sponsors stick with him. I wouldn’t count on it.


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6 Responses to My Extreme Speculation On Why DJ Is Taking A Mysterious Leave From The Tour

  1. danrock says:

    Others have speculated that his previous absences for ‘injuries’ were actually drug related.
    I am not sure if he is qualified for the Tournament of Champions in January since he won in Nov. 2013 (start of this tour cycle), but if he is eligible and does not play there, I believe it is a 6-month suspension.

  2. Larry Paiement says:

    Wayne was a notorious blow-hound in his playing days (who wasn’t in the 80’s?). When Grant Fuhr (goalie for the Edmonton Oilers) got busted with coke during a DUI, rumour has it that he wasn’t the only one in the car who was dusted. He took the rap for Gretzky and Mark Messier. Needless to say, he still receives extravagant gifts from the both of them each year.

    Don’t you find it a tad creepy that Janet and Paulina are dressed the same (minus the short sleeves and a ball cap). Whom is trying to be whom?

  3. Big Jim Spooner says:

    We all know Paulina is a coke whore! So is Janet and so is Wayne. DJ is gone for a year. PGA goes with warning, 3 month, then full year suspensions for drug abuse. He wouldn’t pull out now in front of the Ryder Cup if he wasn’t suspended.

    He now has plenty of time to get his case of the Herp cleared up. Guy has plenty of talent and could be good for the game, but cocain, DUI’s and testifying at murder trials will kill a career.

    Big Jim Spooner, out.

  4. El Pato de Muerte says:

    Hopefully DJ is as good at pulling out of Paulina as he is at pulling out from big tournaments.

  5. Tee-biz says:

    The AK reference is interesting, his career looks to be over barring a miracle. I can’t help but think there is about a 40% chance that DJ is done like dinner. But, the interesting thing is that it always appears that DJ can just forget about the bad stuff and move on… like water off a ducks back. However this is pretty big and I believe it could change the PGA Tour and it’s policies. As much as Finchem wants it to, this story isn’t going away anytime soon.

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