Bald Tiger & DJ Pulls Out: Hump Day Musings

Get It Over With

Millions of men in our country are bald, or going bald. Some from the front, some from the rear, some from both. Fortunately for most anyone with this issue, they’re likely not a huge superstar that is a spokesman for several companies and in the public image constantly like Tiger Woods is. We’ve all seen Tiger’s baldness creeping in over the last decade. How could you miss it? I suppose if you’ve never watching him complete a round and take off his hat you could have missed it. My wife comments on it all the time and she’s usually asleep while golf is on.

Tiger Woods returned to golf at the Masters Tournament this week with a swing unaffected by his off season scandal. His hairline is a different story though (katchop)

I’ve thought for a while that TW would finally give in to his one genetic failure and start trimming his hair without a guard on the razor for tighter look, but in a recent interview he did with Fox Sports he claims he’s going to go even lower and just shave it……eventually.

Unfortunately for all of us, the clip cuts off before Colleen can get to the shaved head talk. Instead you only get to hear Tiger give more fluff bullshit about how he loves his life and doesn’t actually read posts on Twitter. No shit. There’s no truth to the rumor that Tiger face fucked Ms. Dominguez either before or after said interview.

In other TW news, he’s back in action this week in Akron, Ohio playing in the WGC at Firestone. He’s won there 8 times? Nine times? I’ve lost count, but he better get serious about doing it again if he wants to keep playing golf into September. The PGA Tour season is wrapping up and he’s woefully short on Fed Ex points. Lucky for Woods, there’s no cut this week.

DJ Pulls Out

No, that’s not how he and Paulina go about birth control……. or is it? On Monday Dustin Johnson informed the PGA Tour that he was withdrawing from the WGC at Firestone for ‘personal reasons’. Methinks he’d been on the road too long and just wanted to get his fuck on. Shortly after he WD’d his fiance posted on social media that he was the best caddie and showed a pic of the two on a golf course that was anywhere but the state of Ohio.

Golfers are independent contractors so of course DJ has the right to do whatever the fuck he wants, but if he ends up on the outside looking in at the automatic qualifiers for the Ryder Cup he’ll deserve it. And I don’t think Watson will pick him with all the other options he has available for the U.S. team that won’t qualify on points. Dustin Johnson probably leads the tour in the WD department (only because John Daly isn’t a tour member). This is what he does. We should be used to it.

What Would You Do? 

In my never ending quest to make it into a USGA Championship I annually sign up for and compete in the U.S. Mid-Am. That involves a qualifying tournament somewhere in my local region in which 90 players compete and the top 5 move on. My site played this week and it did not go well.

I won’t make any excuses. I played like shit. But I found myself in a bit of a quandary on my 16th hole. My fellow competitors in my group were playing well. I had just made double from 200 yards out in the middle of the fairway on the par 5 previous hole. The green was drive-able so being way over par I figured why not take a lash at it. The face was shut (you’re shocked!) and a big hook ensued sending my ball into a decorative flower bed on a previous hole’s tee box. Not knowing the flowerbed was there I didn’t hit a provisional. Because the short par 4 was reachable, there was a sizable back up on the tee. We never found my ball. What would you do?

I’ve never taken the DJ route and WD’d from anything under any circumstance that I can think of. However, I didn’t want to walk 280 yards back to two groups waiting on the tee and further delay and kill the rhythm of my playing partners that were on the cusp of qualifying for the championship. I didn’t re-tee. The decision seemed to sensible. Was I wrong? Let’s be clear, I didn’t walk off the course. I played out the round, but I withdrew in the middle of the 16th hole for all intents and purposes.  Right, wrong? What would you have done.

 

 

 

 

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This entry was posted in Style, Tour Talk, WAGS, Weekend Hacks: Amateur Golf and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Bald Tiger & DJ Pulls Out: Hump Day Musings

  1. Pingback: Rors Backs Up British With Bridgestone: Final Thoughts On Firestone |

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