All Tiger Open, Rory’s Bomb, And Zach’s 5th Major: Thursday Potluck

Don’t We See Every Shot He Hits Anyway? 

ESPN announced this week that at the British Open they would use one of their online avenues (ESPN3 or the ESPN App) to broadcast Tiger only live during each of his rounds played at Hoylake. Oh let the hating begin. At the Masters, if Tiger is in a featured group you see each of his shots. If he’s not and the network broadcast hasn’t started, then you don’t see every shot he hits that day. Outside of the Masters, when at a major do we not see every shot the Big Cat hits?

I guess I just have to ask, why would anyone watch this? That is, if you have access to the main broadcast (which you will on the app and ESPN3), then why would you limit your Open Championship coverage only to watching Tiger? For ESPN, it’s a brilliant move because there are enough stupid people out there that will only want to watch Tiger. They’ll draw in more fans that aren’t near a TV to watch and they’ll draw in the shoulder crowd that only cares if TW is playing.

Of course, Tiger haters will be yelling at this move full throat. Why should a guy who hasn’t even won a major in 6 years and isn’t even number 1 in the world get such attention? We all know why. He moves the needle. End of discussion. It’s a smart move by ESPN and it’ll go over well, just don’t be one of the ones drawn into the stupidity of it. The World Wide Leader will still be showing every fucking shot he hits at Royal Liverpool on the regular broadcast.

I Don’t Think Tiger Has 436 In Him

Meanwhile at the Scottish Open, Phil, Rory, Lee, Justin, Luke, and several other chaps are teeing it up at Royal Aberdeen to prep for next week’s Open Championship. That seems like a wise idea and one that a guy who just had 100 days off might want to jump on to knock off the rust he showed in his game at Congressional (cough, Tiger….cough). But no, he’s too dialed in to adapt his schedule and get in the reps he always says he needs. Dumb fuck. That’s fine, let Rors and Phil have all the fun. That’s exactly what Mr. McIlroy did after he got off his new piece this morning and rolled out of bed. Then he shot 64 to take a first round lead. The highlight of his day was the green he drove on a 430 some yard par 4.

Yeah, sure…it is down wind, and the ground is firm and fast…..but he did still make the swing with his waterproofs on!!!! That’s insane. And the Mechanic is on the green ready to putt and isn’t even phased. Priceless.

This Could Have Been Avoided

Death, taxes, and Zach Johnson walking around the Quad Cities for a whole week in July with a semi-chub. Those are things we know are guaranteed in life. In 2013 Zach should have won the John Deere, but then Jordan Spieth did this and then beat Zachie-poo in a playoff.

Little Zach isn’t going to let that deter him. He’s back in 2014 with a vengeance and leading the tournament again after shooting 63 in round one. This easily could have been avoided. I had Zach locked in as my fantasy pick all week, but who didn’t. I backed off him late yesterday because I need to play catch up and I figured half my pool would take him. What good is that to me? My switch put youngster Scott Langley on the hot seat. Sorry Scott, and you too Joe (his caddie). Needless to say I wasn’t at all surprised to see Johnson’s low round posted when I checked the leaderboard today. I’m working on quite a streak. Just call me the cooler because you could T5 or better for 6 straight events and if I picked you in week 7 you’d miss the cut. It isn’t my year.

If You Golf, Stay Off Segways!

Remember late last year when Brandt Snedeker tore up his knee by crashing a segway? Well, 49 year old Jesper Parnevik followed the leader and broke his rib by crashing one this week. The great part about Jesper’s accident is that someone got it on video and he posted it on his Instagram account for all of us to see.

And now that I’ve made light of both these accidents and because I’m a strong believer in karma, I won’t be touching one of these evil, two-wheeled, death machines anytime during my golf season.

This entry was posted in Hate Mail, Majors, Tour Talk and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to All Tiger Open, Rory’s Bomb, And Zach’s 5th Major: Thursday Potluck

  1. danrock says:

    Quite a competition brewing between the girlfriends of Rory and the Duck for next month’s WAG.
    BTW, check out the reply to your article on the Duck and his squeeze.
    Seems she didn’t like being called a gold digger!

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