Mass Golf Groupie Suicide Imminent Due To Adam Scott Taking Bride

Hold The Phone

If you would have said to me yesterday that Adam Scott would shoot a first round 77 at the Players Championship and then announce to the world that he’s been a married man for a whole 3 weeks now I would have slapped you across your face and told you to stop wasting my time with nonsensical fairy tales.  As I told you last year, Scotty and old flame Marie Kojzar reunited just before he won the Masters.

Marie Kojzar  Adam Scott girlfriend bio

Apparently life has been good enough to Adam since the couple got back together that he’s decided to go ahead and make this a permanent thing. He announced to various international media outlets today that the couple wed shortly after the Masters this year. You know, because multi-millionaire tour pros who can get laid by winking at a girl want to give up that lifestyle so willingly.

Adam has probably nailed every single woman under 40 in Akron, Atlanta, Augusta, Boston, Chicago, Columbus, and New York,  thanks to his annual trips to such towns. Throw in the whole state of Florida too and his dick is probably worn out and ready to settle down. I’m personally a little disappointed in him, but we all gotta go sometime so I’ll get over it. The biggest losers here are all the panty droppers that goosh in their skibbies whenever they see Adam walking the fairways of a tour event. This of course includes female golf groupies he hasn’t fucked in the aforementioned cities and…… Stevie Williams.

Getting Down To Business

The post from last year that I linked above shows a few pictures of Mrs. Scott, but there simply isn’t much else out there to show you what she really looks like. Here’s the best angle available. Tough to judge.

To say anything definitive about her with such little evidence to work from isn’t fair. She must be something. Consider this. I once heard a story about a visit made to the club in Florida of which Scott is a member and spends endless hours practicing and playing. When the guest of the club arrived for his round he saw Scott having breakfast with a lovely young 20 something girl. Great tits, blonde, sundress, legs, etc. At some point in said guest’s round the course routing came back by the practice facility and Scott was spotted working on his short game. At the completion of the guest’s round he came back to the dining area for lunch and there was Scott again. This time Adam was with a different young 20 something, sundress, legs, tits, but brunette. My jokes above aren’t that outlandish. He was a hound.

Who Wore It Best

Scott’s dick, that is. Since the wedding is all over but the crying for the groupies, lets look back at some of Adam’s more famous conquests and ponder what his future might hold.

Kate Hudson

I’m not a fan. She’s got a nice pooper but her face looks like she hasn’t taken a healthy shit in 7 years. Plus her mom is Goldie Hawn. How fucking annoying would she be? That’s a mother daughter sandwich only a demented fuck would want a part of, no offense to you demented fucks.

The bottom pic isn’t too bad, I guess.

Ana Ivanovic

Another golfer with another tennis pro… didn’t work for Sergio, it didn’t work for Adam, it didn’t work for Greg Norman, perhaps Rory should take notice. Based on looks alone, Ana makes Kate Hudson look like an Umpa Lumpa. It is a shame these two kids couldn’t have made it work. They could have bred a super-human.

This fucking broad even looks good in a stupid golf hat. If you can pull that off, as a woman, you’re marriage material.

Groupies Love Poles……ERRRRR…….Polls

Did Adam fuck up by getting married? That’s a tough call and only time will tell. Do you know how he met his new bride? She was a nanny to fellow tour pro Thomas Bjorn’s kids. Whoa now. Hold on a second. Haven’t we heard this before. Top player with Stevie on the bag hooks up with Swedish nanny that he met because she worked for his colleague. Jesus Adam. You already have Tiger’s swing, his coach, his caddie, his green jacket……now you’re following the nanny/wife thing? Fuck me. This can’t end well.

If you were Adam, would you still be drilling Anna? Schtooping Kate? Would you have married Marie? Or would you simply be up to your eyeballs in hot Florida poontang? Tough call. Hit the poll to weigh in.


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2 Responses to Mass Golf Groupie Suicide Imminent Due To Adam Scott Taking Bride

  1. Tee-biz says:

    I just about shit my fucking pants when I saw this story unfold yesterday on the Golf Channel… had to check the calendar just to make sure it wasn’t April fucking 1st. Fuck me… this guy has been my idol for the last 10 years… I can’t imagine a better life; Best swing of all time, Masters champ, good looks, and last but not least more boy band ass than all the boy bands put together. I have to say “Fuck” one more time just cause I don’t know what else to say.
    Anyways, congrats to Adam. Apparently she is also an architect so perhaps her intelligence attracted Adam.
    After living the life we all dream of, Adam must have thought it was time to add some stability and companionship to his life. Quite honestly this just might be what he needs to take his game to the next level.

  2. BB says:

    Gotta be a “grass is greener” thing. We mere mortals may never understand why, but for some reason rich/famous people must get bored with having everything. How do you explain Eddy Murphy and his transvestite, or Arnold and his affair with the grotesque nanny?

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