Trump Buys Two Majors, Quail Hollow Makeover, & Texas Tiger: Hump Day Musings

Saying Goodbye To An Old Friend

Donald Trump’s golf course in Bedminster, New Jersey is rumored to be the future site of the 2022 PGA Championship. Sources say that an official announcement will be made in New York on Thursday. Trump Bedminster has already been tagged to host the U.S. Women’s Open in 2017. Now the PGA has whored itself out to the Donald, but at what real cost? No, I’m not talking about straight cash homie, I’m talking about what is really being lost by moving the championship to Trump’s place in New Jersey.

With this move it is apparent to me that we’re losing a storied championship venue rich in history in Baltusrol. Why do I say that? The Lower Course at Baltusrol in Springfield, New Jersey has hosted more than a handful of major championships. And before the Lower Course came to fruition, a combination of holes on the Lower and Upper courses also hosted a U.S. Open. The USGA last hosted their championship at Baltusrol in 1993.

The site has been a favorite location of the USGA Blue Coats thanks to it being so close to New York City and the USGA headquarters in Far Hills, NJ. After the PGA selected the club as the host of its championship for 2005 the USGA acted like the PGA fucked its girlfriend and wouldn’t go back to her. The PGA Championship will again be held at Baltusrol in 2016, but after that I wouldn’t count on seeing another championship, perhaps ever. The PGA has already moved into the NYC area with a Ryder Cup and PGA scheduled at Bethpage Black. Now they’ll be back in New Jersey as early as 2022. That doesn’t bode well for Baltusrol and likely means the foreseeable end of major championship golf at the site.

Why should this matter to you? It probably doesn’t. I hate to see a classic course with great history taken out of the major championship rotation. Look what happened to Merion for 30 years before the USGA came back last year. It was off the radar. Now it’s back, quirks and all, and its in demand. Baltusrol has the history but not the charm of Merion. I probably hold it in higher esteem than most because I watched the 2005 PGA there and played in the 2006 Met Am there a year later. The club is fantastic and clearly one of the best in America. Putting it out to pasture for major championships is like the 49ers closing down Candlestick Park. Both are athletic venues rich in the history and memorable moments of their sports. I hate to see them go. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, so do your best to soak in the 2016 PGA there and enjoy the venue one last time. Trust me, that will likely be its last.

Thank God Trump Can’t Buy Augusta National

Clearly Donald Trump and his small penis have some warped obsession with trying to take over the world. Since he can’t actually do that, he’ll just buy courses that host major golf championships (or build them). News broke earlier today that Trump purchased the Turnberry golf resort in Scotland. Turnberry’s Ailsa course has hosted 4 Open Championships and will surely host another in the next 7 to 10 years because it is too good not to. Will the Donald still own Turnberry by then, who knows? Fuck, he might not be alive when his Bedminster course gets the PGA in 2022. Chances are he’ll live far past the age that anyone wants him to and he’ll be around to meddle in both majors hosted by his courses in the near future.

What we do know is that Trump won’t touch the golf course unless instructed to do so by the R&A. He made that known in his presser. Whew. I figured he’d want to put a mustache on the Mona Lisa, or at least one of his bullshit waterfalls somewhere near that lighthouse. Trump of course plans to renovate the fuck out of the hotel to make it as luxurious as possible as only he can. Whatever, no body cares what he does with that old dump as long as the golf course is mostly untouched.

Speaking Of Championship Golf Courses

The PGA Tour moves on to Charlotte, North Carolina this week where the players return to Quail Hollow after last year’s debacle on the greens. The golf course was closed all of the summer of 2013 to change the grass on the greens (from bent to a Bermuda hybrid you can get stoned to the be-Jesus-belt on). Several other understated changes were made by Tom Fazio, but the most noticeable change is at the 16th where Fazio brought the green out into the water hazard more and changed the angle of the approach from the fairway.


The changes to Quail Hollow were all made in preparation for the course hosting the 2017 PGA Championship. The players are raving about it and all seem to agree that Fazio did nothing but improve a track they already admittedly loved. During the pro-am today, Phil Mickelson noticed Fazio in his gallery, so he pulled him inside the ropes to have him walk a few holes an talk golf course. Somewhere on a bulldozer, Rees Jones pulled out his arthritic Phil Mickelson voodoo doll and bitch slapped it.

Tiger Needs Something To Keep Him Busy

He can’t play golf and won’t be doing so anytime soon, so he might as well find something to do with his extra time. And if it so happens that some idiot wants to pay him a bunch of cash to do so, why not? announced today that Tiger is taking on a design project for a defunct golf course in Texas.

The former Blaketree National Golf Club was laid out by Bill Coore and Ben Crenshaw in the 1980s. The property will now become a Tiger Woods design named Bluejack National. According to the release, the club is made up of 755 acres of gently rolling and beautifully wooded countryside dotted with natural lakes and streams. That sure sounds like a nice piece of land for TW to fuck up. Bluejack has to potential to be Tiger’s first U.S. course. His past projects in North Carolina and the Middle East were never completed and eventually turned into unnoticed skeletons in Tiger’s business portfolio. I wouldn’t be surprised if this one turns out the same. How’s that course in Cabo coming?

Site News

April ends today (or yesterday depending on when you’re reading this) in case you weren’t paying attention. What that means for this site is that Amanda Dufner’s reign as the WAG of the Month is coming to an end. Some months I’ll make the site democratic and let you the reader vote for the WAG of the Month. In other months I’ll just pick whomever floats my boat.

If you were hoping Paulina Gretzky would be my next selection thanks to her Golf Digest cover, well……sorry. That’s not happening. I did consider Morning Drive’s Lauren Thompson because you all fapped over her when I told you she was back in MD and showed her in a bikini, but in the end she was beaten out. The monthly award is for a true wife or girlfriend (lesbians are eligible), but I will make an exception for a hottie that is in some other way associated with golf. This month the honor goes to Melissa Weber-Jones. She’s the wife of golfer Matt Jones, and Matt won the Houston Open on a miracle shot that got him to Augusta. Oh, and his wife is hot and a former Miss Idaho. She’s wins. End of discussion.

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