Calibogue Kooch, Ironic Patrick Reed, & Final Thoughts On Heritage

Final Round 64s Will Get The Job Done Most Weeks

As most of you know, Matt Kuchar has held a share of a tournament lead for consecutive Sundays at some point in each of the last four weeks. As you also know, Kooch hasn’t won the previous three weeks after letting tournaments slip away in San Antonio, Houston, and Augusta. This week at Hilton Head Golly Gee Matty got off to a quick start in round one with a 66 but appeared stuck in neutral with rounds of 73 and 70 in rounds 2 and 3. To finally get his first win of 2014 he’d have to chase down front runner Luke Donald by posting a low Sunday round. Kuchar of course did just that with a phenomenal 64.

Kooch went out in 30 shots on the front nine to race to a 3 shot lead. He held on for dear life on the back nine when Donald began a charge. Matt hit it close at the par three 17th and looked primed to make an easy deuce that should have been enough to put Donald away if Matt could avoid fucking up the 18th. Then this happened:

Oh that’s ugly. I think we all felt him choking (again) at that point – it would have been right on schedule for consecutive Sundays on tour – but a funny thing happened on the way to the clubhouse. With the 18th hole playing extremely difficult into a strong wind, Matt left his 2nd shot in the front green side bunker. Then he simply hit the shot of the week to nearly wrap up his $1.1M check.

After that he had to wait out Donald’s last few holes to see if Luke could force a playoff or if MK would be the man wearing the tartan blazer and getting the trophy. Matt isn’t very good at matching his hats, shirts, pants and shoes in the first place, so the bit of tartan that he received for his win should fit in well with his pleated pants and other nerdy garments in his wardrobe. Congrats to Kooch on a great week and a well deserved win that felt like a month long work in progress.

Show Your Kooch

Sybi Kuchar is apparently one of the most well liked wives and/or girlfriends hanging around the PGA Tour. She seems perfect for Matt in what I’ve read about her personality and was a collegiate tennis jock so she understands the competitiveness that is required of her husband to succeed at the highest level. I hear the two make a dream team for mixed doubles. Sybil is also fairly easy on the eyes, and keeping with ShutFaceGolf tradition, here’s a few glimpses of Mrs. Kooch for you to gawk at while you also contemplate the amount of cash Matt won playing golf this week.

That’s all I got. Mrs. K isn’t showing off the goods for us like we’d hope. But you get the point. Matt’s life doesn’t blow. Hopefully for him, his wife does.

Luuuuukkkke Couldn’t Catch Koooooooch

When dawn broke on Easter Sunday Luke Donald appeared primed to get over his Heritage hump and win again for the first time in nearly two years on the PGA Tour. Luke has finished as the runner up in Harbor Town a few times in recent years (top 5 four of five years) and he was one of the favorites to win the tournament when the week began.

On the front nine I think it became apparent to Donald that Kuchar was on fire and he was going to have to play better to chase him down. Luke then hit his tee shot at the 6th out of bounds. After re-teeing Luke made double bogey. The two shots he wasted with a sloppy tee shot there probably ended up being the difference between winning and finishing 2nd. If not there, you can also look to the shot he pulled in to the hazard off the tee at the 10th that lead to a bogey.

Driving accuracy has long been a weakness in Donald’s game and it was again today when it mattered. I’m sure Luke feels that he played well enough to win and can put a positive spin on his play for the week. After shooting 79 last week at Augusta and missing the cut, I’d think any top finish like this would be a step in the right direction for the former world number 1.

I’m On A Boat

Remember when Patrick Reed won the WGC event at Trump Doral and told the world he thought he was a top five player? Yes, I’ve tried to forget it too because I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. However, in the ultimate twist in irony, Reed’s tee shot at the 18th hole in the 2nd round was hit way left and into the marsh on the edge of the Calibogue Sound. After attempting to play from the marsh, Reed’s near shank advanced only a few yards forward but several more to the left near the yacht seen in this photo below. Note the boat’s name.

Yes, you’re reading that correctly, and this wasn’t photo shopped, the name of the vessel is “Top Five”. If he’d done this on Sunday while in contention, Twitter would have broke the internet.

Reed made the cut but finished T48. In fact, he’s played like absolute shit since his victory a month ago and some dolts are even trying to link this trend to the top 5 comment. Fuck that noise. You want to know why he’s playing poorly? His wife is 8 months pregnant. He’s got other things on his mind. And I’ll call my shot right now, because of the kid coming soon I think it’s highly likely that Reed will have a quiet summer as he’s being broken into fatherhood. A rough stretch from June through August might be enough to bump him off the Ryder Cup team. You heard it hear first.

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