Gerry Likes Waffle House & Tiger Is Out At Pinehurst

Where Else Would A Southern Boy Dine At 4 am? 

You just won the Masters – for a 2nd time, its late, you’re hungry, and you’re of course in Augusta, Georgia. Where do you go? Waffle House of course. Well, in fairness….what else is open? And like Phil Mickelson’s famous trip to Krispy Creme, Bubba ventured out early the morning after his Masters victory for a breakfast fit for a champion.

It is too bad that we can’t tell if Bubba is wearing his green jacket in that selfie. Other than that, this isn’t really news. The most shocking thing about it is that Bubba doesn’t drink alcohol, and no sober person walking this earth should be in a Waffle House that late/early without being completed fucking hammered.

Ohh Fer Twenty Four

In other news, Tiger slappy and Golf Channel pundit Notah Begay has apparently talked to his pal over the weekend and made it clear that Woods isn’t going to be able to play in the U.S. Open at Pinehurst this June. File this under things we saw coming like a freight train down the tracks. The fucker had back surgery less than a month ago. Two weeks ago exactly Begay said that Tiger planned on being back for Pinehurst and I called bullshit.

Here’s what Begay told CBS radio this morning:

“I’ve been in contact with him this week. He missed being at Augusta and certainly was watching the tournament, (but) I think he needs to give (his back) a minimum of 90 days to make sure that scar tissue heals up appropriately and he doesn’t run the risk of re-injuring it. So that would push him past the U.S. Open.”

This news comes on the heals of a Tiger-less Masters that yielded some of the lowest TV ratings in the last decade of the event. Hey, I could give a shit who or how many watch golf on TV, as long as its on I know I’m tuning in. But people that need golf to get ratings, pay bills, buy ads, etc…..they’re shitting bricks. Somewhere in Utah, Johnny Miller is now trying to figure out how to fill about 7 hours of weekend coverage for the U.S. Open that would have otherwise been used to show and analyze Tiger. And if you’re scoring at home, Tiger missing the 2014 U.S. Open means that he’ll be major-less for 6 consecutive years since his win at Torrey Pines in 2008 (0 for his last 24 attempts).

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3 Responses to Gerry Likes Waffle House & Tiger Is Out At Pinehurst

  1. danrock says:

    And he left a $148 tip, plus $24 more at Steak and Shake for 6 milkshakes, so maybe not such a ‘douchebag!’

  2. Pingback: Lindsey & Elin Are BFFs, Tiger Chipping And Other Hump Day Musings |

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