Beemed Up Scotty And Douchebag Bubba

Adam Woods Blitzing Bay Hill Field

That isn’t a typo. We all know that Adam Scott has worked with Butch Harmon for years and has made no bones about trying to copy the swing Woods used to accomplish his Tiger slam in 2000-2001. He’s perfected the swing to become one of the purest drivers of the golf ball in the game today. Two years ago he added TW’s former caddie as his employee to continue his effort to take over Tiger’s life. At last year’s Masters Adam, his caddie, and Tiger’s old swing collected a green jacket that could have been Tiger’s had “drop-gate” not occurred on Friday afternoon at Tiger’s 15th hole. This week at the Arnold Palmer Invitational, Scott is blitzing the field through 36 holes after matching the course record with a ten under round of 62 on Thursday that he backed up with a 68 on Friday. His 14 under leads the field by 7 shots. Sounds like another piece of Tiger’s life he is copying, doesn’t it?

It only makes sense that the day after Woods announces he has withdrawn from the tournament that he has dominated for years that Scott would tie the course record and prison sex his competition. Adam is clearly on a mission. He wants everything Tiger Woods has ever had. Winning at Bay Hill is next on the list.

Assuming he holds on to win and Tiger doesn’t play again before the Masters, Scott will also likely take Tiger’s number 1 world ranking away by the time fresh rankings are released on the Monday of the Masters. Can Tiger get a restraining order on Adam? Is Stevie Williams giving Adam some type of Tiger kryptonite? I have to assume that Scotty is also banging porn stars and Perkins waitresses simply to make sure he hasn’t overlooked any minor details in his plan to take over Tiger’s old life.

And remember when Tiger was leading Arnie’s Invite by a decent margin through 3 rounds and got the trots after eating some bad takeout after his Saturday round? He went on to win but looked like death in doing so. Well, Adam Scott is also playing sick this week in Orlando.

Scott Plays On With Trots But Bubba WDs Due To Allergies…????

If you follow me on Twitter, you know that I tried to warn you of the Bubba shit show that was about to occur on Thursday morning. For some stupid fucking reason I changed my pick from GMac to Bubba at the 11th hour. Bubs had been playing well and I felt like I needed to go with a player with a little more fire power for this week at Bay Hill (I used Scott at Doral).

So what does Watson go out and do? He plays even par golf for 8 holes, makes a triple on his 9th (the 18th) without a penalty shot, then goes all John Daly on the 6th hole by making an 11. Never mind trying to get the triple back on the next nine, grind out the round, go low Friday and make the cut. Nope, fuck it. Go big and go home. Bubs put an 11 on the card on the 6th hole after failing to clear the water hazard from the tee a few times.

BubbaBayHill

Bubba’s around added up to an 83. Having a home in Orlando and no where to go, you’d think Bubba would have sucked it up and played on Friday for the fans that paid good money to see him do what he does. This is Bubba, he doesn’t work that way. Instead he WD’d citing that his pollen allergies (tooth ache was taken) were too much to suffer through. If he’d have gone home for the day and had soup and tea and stayed away from social media and mother nature I might have bought his excuse with only a small amount of skepticism. Instead he tweeted all about his afternoon play time with Rickie Fowler, movie night at this house (he, Bads, and Rick watched Captain Phillips), and posted this video of Fowler flipping off his dock into the lack behind his house.

Really? Maybe I’m a cranky old man. Maybe I’m too harsh on millionaire golf pros that owe nothing to anyone. But I think he does owe Mr. Palmer a better effort than quitting because he had a shitty round. Let’s call the pollen thing what it is, bullshit. Bubba pulls this puddvwhacker garbage fro time to time. You may recall his mini-rant about France after missing the cut at the French Open a few years ago.

No body is perfect, but Watson needs to grow up. He likely won’t end up on the outside looking in at a spot on the Ryder Cup team. I expect him to automatically qualify based on his current standing, but if he does get bumped, could Captain Tom Watson look at something like this as a strike against him from making the team as a captain’s pick? I would.

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One Response to Beemed Up Scotty And Douchebag Bubba

  1. Pingback: Scott Shits Bed, Every Scores Big 1st Win: Final Thoughts On Bay Hill |

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