Usually The Only Thing In His Ass Is Jose Maria
In a third round match against Rickie Fowler, Sergio Garcia walked to his ball near the 6th green to play a chip shot when he encountered a swarm of bees that would not leave the area. He asked for an official and a ruling which took a little longer than expected. Fowler’s ball was snug near the pin. Eventually Garcia got in the batter’s box, took his hack at the chip like John Kruk facing a Randy Johnson heater, and fled the scene before the bees could sting him in his vagina. He was left with 4 feet for par. Fowler missed his birdie putt, Garcia made his par putt, and Garcia’s lead in the match stayed at 2 up. Then things got weird.
Fowler struggled on the next hole and failed to reach the green in regulation. His pitch from short of the green left him 17 feet for par. Garcia hit the green in two and left his birdie putt woefully short. He might have had 4 1/2 feet left for a par, but nothing more than that. Sergio marked his ball like he would any other hole and walked back near his caddie. He fiddled with his stroke and turned his back to Fowler as Rick began to line up his long par putt. Then Sergio looked up and asked Fowler if he wanted to halve. Here’s the video.
What the fuck? Good/good? There is no logic for this. Garcia justified it to the Golf Channel by saying he felt bad for taking so long to get a ruling and play his chip on the previous hole when he dealt with the bees. He thought the delay threw off Rickie’s game and made him miss his shortish birdie putt. The two players do get along and like each other, but there are no feelings and guilt in match play. Most people wouldn’t give that putt to their grandmother. Professionals playing for high stakes like this, well…. the decision makes no sense. Garcia’s generosity is even more bizarre when you consider this factoid dropped on us by Yahoo’s Shane Bacon.
Fowler was pouring in putts in rounds 1 and 2, but he hadn’t yet in round 3. The concession from Garcia got him going. He made quite a few from the 7th green on while Garcia missed short putt after short putt. I think Garcia had a motive, and that was to avoid having to make a short putt himself. Even if Fowler misses the putt Garcia would still have had to make his to win the hole. He didn’t want to putt that putt. He missed short putts in each of his matches this week and that one had him spooked too.
When his first putt came up short he went through is normal routine of marking and practicing his stroke. Why not offer good/good as he walked to the ball? I think he offered the halved hole to Fowler to avoid some scar tissue. He had a nice lead at the time. Why stress his game and brain? After the act he figured he’d throw out the guilt thing from the bee incident to appease the media, hide his mind fuck, and make himself look like the nice guy. He needs goodwill, so he even gave some bullshit quip about sportsmanship. Yeah right, the guy that has spit in a hole and whines incessantly cares about sportsmanship all of a sudden.
The match couldn’t have ended any better. Fowler won 1 up on the 18th hole.
Seven other matches were contested in round 3 of the Accenture Match Play. Jordan Spieth beat Kuchar, Jason Day got by Coetzee, Ernie Els lulled Dufner to sleep, Victor Dubuisson held off Bubba, Jim Furyk nipped Harris English, Louis Oosthuizen boat raced Webb Simpson, and GMac came from behind again to beat Hunter Mahan in the match of the day.
Those results set up a nice little Saturday for the golf junkie. Of the 8 players remaining, 7 of them are fairly well known names, and Dubuisson is no slouch. He could win this whole thing. Any of these guys could. The matches will be great, however, there will only be four on the course in the morning and two later in the afternoon when they’re playing for spots in the Sunday Finale. If you need something to do during the dead air, I suggest the Sir Nick Faldo Drinking Game. You can catch Nick all day on TGC in the morning and CBS in the afternoon. Prepare to be hammered.
The Sir Nick Faldo Drinking Game
Every time Sir Nick says a phrase or word that is germane to the UK, take a shot or finish your drink.
If Nick pumps a certain product he endorses, that’s two shots or two drinks.
If Nick makes a reference to a player being a youngster or some term of that ilk, drink.
If Nick critiques a player’s trousers, 3 drinks.
Any swing analysis or critique from Faldo, switch from beer to liquor, or vice versa, drink (continue with the same type of beverage until next swing analysis).
If Nick discusses social media or the internet, drink, then tweet with #SirNickFaldodrinkinggame hashtag.
Every time Nick states the obvious, drink.
If Nick questions the decision making of any golfer, drink half your drink if full, finish drink of less than half full, then question your own decision.
Anytime Nick gets excited or raises his voice about a player hitting a bad shot or being in a sticky situation, raise your voice as you yell “drink” to your drinking buddies, then drink.
Please feel free to add more rules to the game and pass them along to me. Good luck, you will need it. #PukeAndRally