Pebble Porn, Filling Golf Domes In February For Nearly 20 Years

Hopefully You Never Read ‘Nantz’ And ‘Porn’ In The Same Post Again

What could be better on TV in the dead of winter to the snowed-in golfer than shots of Pebble Beach in all its HD glory? Not much, but this is the equivalent of showing a succulent steak dinner to a starving man and telling him he can’t have it. It seems almost unfair, but snow belt golfers are such masochists that we all tune in anyway to see the course, watch the golf, and lick our chops in hopes of an early spring.

Maybe a better comparison is this: golf on television in February is to the golfer as the strip club is to a man in a marriage…..errrrr………a jail (I’m kidding honey). You want it, you just can’t have it, but its right there in front of you and you could have it for the right price. Don’t tell me that you haven’t watched the Clam Bake before and felt the desire to go hit shots on your range in the snow or find the nearest dome that teases you even more with warmer temperatures and 100 yards of ball flight. I don’t think I have to spell this out for you anymore.

Yes, I’ll be watching. I don’t know any better. I’ll do my best to ignore the bullshit CBS throws at us on Saturday, but Thursday, Friday and Sunday are great days for televised golf. Golf porn is all I have at this point.

Did The USGA Make The Pairings?

Three time champ, Dustin Johnson, is again paired with his father-in-law-to-be. Their team dynamic is sure to be less awkward than it was last year now that DJ has proposed to make Paulina as honest of a woman as one can (let’s face it, that might not be possible). Dustin hasn’t played since Kapalua and it seems odd to me. That’s a month off and it also means he took a pass at Torrey Pines where he normally plays. I find that even more strange because San Diego was the site of the big Adidas-Taylormade release with new shoes and the Loft Up campaign, yet Dustin was MIA. Instead he was spotted at Dodger Stadium that week skating on the ice a few days before the L.A. Kings outdoor hockey game. WTF DJ?

Kid Rock is also in the field and is paired with John Daly. I’m not making this up. You already knew that Kid likes to golf, right? This twosome shares the course with Johnson and Gretzky for the first 3 rounds of play. Seriously? Did I read that right? John Daly, Kid Rock, and Wayne Gretzky walk into a bar…..what’s the punch line? The mullett-ed ones should make Wayne thankful that his daughter is fucking DJ after spending 3 days together.

I’m still trying to figure out how big John is even in the field. I’m assuming this is a sponsor’s exemption so please let me know if I have that wrong. Wayne plays to a 1 or scratch and somehow last year scored about 10 shots better than his handicap for the event. I’d say he plays plenty and doesn’t report all his scores. Kid is a hack that carries a 21.5 index. See below:

kidrockhdcpBob won’t be rusty. His index is active and it appears he logged a round at Bay Hill in Orlando on Monday. 

Bill Is Out, Peyton Is In

For the first time in 21 years actor Bill Murray will not be a celebrity pro-am partner at the AT&T Pebble Beach Invitational. It seems Murray’s absence is a product of bad timing. He’ll be sitting this one out because he has promotional obligations for his latest movie, Monuments Men. On some level this is sad. I love Murray on the screen, but I hate him at Pebble where his antics are a bit played out. Still, Murray has become part of what the old Crosby Clambake is in its current state. Jim Nantz won’t miss him, neither will Faldo, but D.A. Points and the fans in attendance will.

Peyton Manning is a late addition to the Pro-Am field this week. That announcement was quite unexpected. Most quarterbacks participating in the Super Bowl some five days prior don’t get back off the mat (if they lose) quickly enough to want to tee it up 3000 miles away. The winners have too many other media obligations to make their tee time. Jason Sobel got snarky on Twitter and offered the following thought on Manning’s late opt in.

Ouch. Manning is no slouch on the course. He carries a 7 index but reportedly broke 80 at Augusta National in recent years. I wouldn’t like giving him shots. He’s paired with young tour pro Scott Langley. Langley is the first graduate of the 1st Tee program to make it to the tour. Scott is a former Illini golfer and NCAA champ that was the low amateur when the U.S. Open was played at Pebble in 2010. Langley’s track record on the Peninsula and Manning’s sandbagging index should make them an early favorite in the team competition.

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