With New Skirt Toting Sack, Garcia Wins In Thailand

Don’t Forget, Sergio Loves To Spit In The Hole When He’s Done With It

Who doesn’t love a week in Thailand? Seeing Sergio Garcia in the field this week didn’t surprise me at all. He knows the country has no shortage of 12 year old tranny hookers, various textiles, and rice as it’s chief exports.

Thanks, Allen. A week in “Thigh-land” also gave Sergio a chance to introduce us to his new caddie, German girlfriend Katharina Boehm. Kat made the trip with him and looped all 72 holes of the event.  What do we know about her? She played college golf a College of Charleston and graduated in 2013. That leads me to believe she’s at least 10 years younger than Garcia. That’s no crime, it merely makes sense as someone that much younger than him is probably a perfect match for his maturity level (writes the guy who laughs at poop jokes).

Arm-in-arm: Sergio Garcia walks with his caddie during the second round of the Thailand Golf Championship

He’s done better, that’s for sure. Not that she’s ugly, she’s just not glamorous looking like the type you’d expect a millionaire golfer to go after. He definitely has a type (athletic with few curves) and she does fit that mold. Unlike he colleague Patrick Reed, he didn’t make her carry his giant leather tour bag that weighs 50 lbs. Instead, Kat carried a light weight stand bag that didn’t appear to feature Garcia’s sponsors’ logos, taglines, etc.

The Actual Golf

Garcia was phenomenal in almost every aspect of his game all week. He drove the ball well, hit greens in spades, and had his pencil putting grip working to perfection. Every time a fellow competitor made a charge at him he stomped on their necks with a string of birdies or made a clutch par putt to keep his leading margin comfortable.

This is Sergio’s first win in 16 months. He last won at the Wyndham in 2012, in which he ironically used with a CBS spotter as his temporary caddie. I don’t think that’s a coincidence. Perhaps he focuses on his game better when he does his own yardages, pulls his own clubs, and reads his own putts.

Island Life

Much like the Coeur d’Alene Resort course in Idaho, the Amata Springs course played this week in Thailand features a floating island green that golfers take a boat to after they hit their tee shot. This is of course a novelty that is more of a nuisance than it is a luxury, but I did find it entertaining to watch the players and their caddies file into and off the boat going to and from the green. It also gave viewers a chance to get a nice look at Garcia’s girlfriend/caddy’s legs when the cameraman in the boat got a close up of Stenson and Garcia’s group leaving the green to head to the 18th tee.

The Field

Henrik Stenson has been doing nothing on the golf course but kicking ass and taking names for about 5 months. He and Adam Scott are the best two players in the world right now. For Garcia to beat him soundly as he did tells you how well Sergio played. No body else in the field put up much of a fight. Major winners Charl Schwartzel and Justin Rose looked to be legit contenders at the beginning of the weekend, but both made too many bogies over the last 36 holes to keep up. The same could also be said for Rickie Fowler’s bid to win. Rose, Charl, and Rickie all had top ten finishes, but each finished 9 shots or more back of Garcia.

Who’s that mother fucker? That’s Sujjan Singh. No, no relation to douche bag Vijay. Who is Sujjan? He’s a mid 30’s tour pro from India that’s come up through the Asian Tour ranks. He finished T30 in Thailand this week. Why am I showing him? Only because I found it amusing that there’s a guy out there in the world wearing a turban on the golf course that would beat the hell of out most of us.  The last thing I was expecting when I turned on the Golf Channel this weekend was to see guy fitting his description grinding over a 6 foot par putt. Next I want to see him in the Masters. Selfishly, I want to see what he does and what Augusta National asks of him regarding his head wear when he enters the media room.

Shot Of The Week

After the 2nd round Garcia must have had an inkling that this was his week. At the par three 8th hole Garcia made a one due to this fortuitousness bounce off the right side of the green complex. Sure, he probably meant to feed the ball in from that angle using the slope, but there’s still plenty of luck involved in it actually going in.

Homie started asking for the white sphere to go in the hole about as soon as it landed on the ground. He knew what he was doing.


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3 Responses to With New Skirt Toting Sack, Garcia Wins In Thailand

  1. ceb0618@insightbb.com says:

    Well lets see. Two years ago the beautiful Nicole was being credited with revitilizing Sergios game. Hard to believe he kicked her out of his house for this one but there must be something to be said for youthful enthusiasm. Oh and you forgot one important trait to his “type”, they must all possess at least a passing resembulance to Sharkette. This one is really close.

    With Tiger and Lyndsey, Rory and Caroline, Dustin and Paulina and now Sergio and Kathrina all vying for camera time, what a fun year this will be! God help us the media gossips will go mad!

  2. ceb0618@insightbb.com says:

    Good gravy the Golf Channel has already reworked their “Golf Couples” pics to include these two. Replaced “Sergio and Nicole” pics already! This is going to get ugly!

  3. Pingback: Abu Dhabi Dooo!!!!! It’s Another Episode Of Hump Day Musings! | Shut Face Golf

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