USA! USA! USA! Walker Cup White-Washing, Jess Marksbury’s Tits, & Web.com Wrap Up

One Cup Runneth Over

Before today none of the major team matches played between American and European golfers were last won by the U.S. team. The Ryder Cup, the Solheim Cup, the Curtis Cup, and the Walker Cup were all held by Euros. Of course that changed in a big way when the American Walker Cup team bitch-smacked the GB&I team in South Hampton. If you missed it, the U.S. team jumped all over GB&I in the 2nd session played on Saturday. These were single matches in which the young guns on the American team went 6-1-1. Michael Kim of Cal lead the way going undefeated. That wraps up a decent year for Mr. Kim. Walker Cup hero, Nicklaus Award Winner, and low amateur at the U.S. Open if you’re scoring at home.

Kim might not even be the best player on the team, or his college team (Walker Cup and Cal-Berkley teammate Max Homa had an ace this weekend, it is believed to be the first in the history of the matches). The U.S. team was loaded with other future superstars that are currently collegian amateurs. That tends to be the theme of the Walker Cup. It serves as a bit of a coming out party for some future stars of the professional game. In 2005, the Walker Cup matches at Chicago Golf Club featured J.B. Holmes and Anthony Kim. In 2009 at Merion Rickie Fowler and Billy Horschel were on the U.S. team. In 2011, Harris English, Jordan Spieth, and Peter Uihlein competed. Yet this year the USGA attempted to honor the spirit of the true amateur by placing two mid-ams on the team. The theory behind these selections was that they were a way to honor life long amateurs like Bobby Jones, Francis Ouimet, and Chick Evans, who all played on the first U.S. Walker Cup team at the National Golf Links in 1922.

The two mid-ams are old men by amateur golf standards. They are 35 year old four time USGA Mid-Am Champ Nathan Smith of Western Pennsylvania and 45 year old Todd White of South Carolina. Smith played college golf but chose a career in finance over playing professionally. He’s also played in four Masters thanks to his Mid-Am titles as well as two previous Walker Cups. White is a history teacher. Yeah, you heard that right. These guys have day jobs. They can’t hit balls all day and practice like the flat bellied college kids, they have to work for a living. Both won their Sunday singles matches to help the U.S. clinch the Walker Cup. Kudos to them for their efforts on Long Island this weekend and for being an inspiration to ams of all ages everywhere. Both will likely tee it up at the USGA Mid-Am Championship in Birmingham next month, but until then it’s back to the office for Smith and back in the classroom for White.

High Marks For Marksbury?

If you were following the Walker Cup this weekend via the USGA’s site, Twitter, or the Golf Channel there’s a good chance you saw Jess Marksbury providing updates of the matches. She’s a contributor at Golf.com and has provided updates and recaps for USGA events for some time now. I find her to be timely, accurate, but incredibly dull. Lucky for her, she has big tits you can stare at to amuse yourself while she talks. A gallery below is provided for your viewing pleasure, with video:

No, she’s not smoking hot. She’s not Kate Upton or Paulina Gretzky, but you know you’d bang her. Shut the fuck up, stop lying to yourself. Ok, fine. Let’s just say for one second you can honestly say that you wouldn’t……(cough….homo…..cough). How many beers would it take? Sounds like a poll to me. Honestly, I think if she showed off the sweater meat more you’d all fuck her brains out with no regrets. As always, comments on this topic are welcomed, encouraged, and hopefully distasteful.

Pull My Banana

Meanwhile in Davidson, North Carolina, Andrew Svoboda and Will MacKenzie went to a sudden death playoff to decide the Chiquitta Classic. Svoboda won on the first playoff hole after MacKenzie hacked it around and made bogey. Why was this interesting? Well, first, there wasn’t any other golf on as TGC delayed the Walker Cup coverage to show the ending of the Web.com event. Second, Svoboda basically quit golf not too long ago. His win today will get him back on the big tour for 2014. That’s a pretty big swing in life plans for a mini-tour veteran. Congrats to him for grinding through some shit to secure his card again.

Andrew Svoboda poses with his trophy after winning the Web.com Tour Chiquita Classic Sept. 8 at River Run Country Club in Davidson. (Aaron Burns/Herald Weekly photo)

Don’t you just love that pic above. Nothing says small time tour like a plastic jug for a trophy and a lady with a fruit hat standing next to you while you raise it. I’ve seen better trophy presentations at my local muni for a Saturday skins game. What you don’t see here is how the tour let the players select who’d play first off the tee in the playoff. An official presented MacKenzie with two bananas and let him pick one. Each had a number on it and whomever selected the #1 banana hit first. I guess for Svoboda it’s good to be 2nd banana. You certainly don’t see that shit on the big boy tour. Just imagine John Deere asking Jordan Spieth and Zach Johnson to put keys in a tractor to see who’s key started it to select their order in the playoff contested between the two in July. I don’t know why, but the whole thing makes me chuckle.

In other news, the Web.com “Save Your Card Series” (that’s what I’m calling it anyway) had another resurrection winner last week. Remember Trevor Immelman? Yeah, the guy who won the 2008 Masters……he’s had a pretty rough go of things for a few years now. Trevor didn’t make enough cash to make the Fed Ex Playoffs this year and that landed him in last week’s Web.com event. Long story short……he won and will keep his card for the tour for next season too.

Back To The Big Show

Tiger and the rest of the big tour get things back on track this week in the 3rd event of the Fed Ex Cup playoffs, the BMW Championship in Chicago. After leaving the Chicago area last year, and almost every other year going forward, the former Western Open is back in the Windy City at Tom Fazio’s Conway Farms.

How’d they get there? Recall that the Western was previously contested at Cog Hill’s #4 course, Dubsdread, for what seemed like forever. In 2008 Rees Jones was brought in to renovate Dubs. When the players returned in 2010 most of them had no problem trashing Jones’ work and complaining about what he’d done to the golf course. The loudest critic was FIGJAM Phil himself. At the time, Cog Hill #4 was being considered for the 2017 U.S. Open which was later awarded to Erin Hills in Wisconsin. I’ve always believed Phil’s complaints were heard loud and clear by Mike Davis and the USGA.

Personally, I’ve played Dubs enough to know that what Jones did to it didn’t ruin it. It just wasn’t that great of a course to being with. Yet when the players bitch the tour usually listens, as they should. This lead the charge for the tournament to leave Dubs and find a new host course. What was decided was that several courses would be used throughout the Midwest, but the local course getting the first crack in Chicagoland became Conway Farms. This happened at Luke Donald’s urging. Donald has been a member at Conway for nearly a decade and played the course often in his collegiate days at Northwestern.

It’s always interesting to see the tour hit a new course as you just don’t know how they’ll play it, what the scores will be like, and what type of player the course favors. The field will also be dealing with a drastic change in weather conditions as they practice during the week with temperatures in the 90s and play on the weekend with temps in the 60s. This is also the first major golf event to be played in Chicago since last year’s Ryder Cup. Perhaps the fans won’t forget how the Euros broke their hearts at Medinah. I can only hope Sunday is half as interesting as Sunday at Medinah was.

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