Spieth Breaks Through, Bag Pipes For Bitch Tits, & Final Thoughts On John Deere

Get Jordy On The Jet

Nineteen year olds aren’t supposed to win on tour. They’re not supposed beat defending champs in playoffs with so much on the line. Jordan Speith isn’t your normal 19 year old. I’ve recounted his non-tour membership for you, his quest to get a win, and what a win does for his status.  Today he cashed in on his potential and grabbed his tour membership by the balls.

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The win gives Jordan full fledged tour status, Fed Ex points, a trip to Augusta, and a seat on the chartered flight to next week’s Open Championship. The kid showed he had a big brass set of balls in surviving the 3 man-multi-hole playoff. Clutch par putts, a hot putter, and an amazing hole out on the 72nd hole were all it took to get win number 1. That and some dodged bullets and missed putts from his fellow competitors.

I’m thrilled for this kid and even more thrilled that I picked him to win this week. He’s the first teen to win on tour in 82 years and I’m guessing that’s just the first drop of water over the damn. More kids are coming.

Bitch Tits And Bag Pipes

Oh Phillip. You had us at “layup”. Just when I figured he couldn’t lose this weeks Euro event, he 3 puds the last hole after playing conservatively to end up in a playoff. His par putt didn’t even sniff the hole. Then he gets brilliant near the green in the playoff with a little spinner to take the crown.

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It’s a big win for Phil. He showed he can bounce back from more US Open heartache. Now he’s a favorite at the British this week. Amazingly this is only Phil’s 4th win away from US soil. His game looks solid and in proper form for firm links golf. I can’t wait to see what he does at Muirfield.

Fuck This, I’m On Vacay

Sorry kids, that’s all I got for now. I’m on vacation with no computer and hijacked wifi. Hang in there.

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One Response to Spieth Breaks Through, Bag Pipes For Bitch Tits, & Final Thoughts On John Deere

  1. El Pato de Muerte says:

    Phil’s punch-skull-spinner on the first playoff hole was nothing short of amazing – he’s like Minnesota Fats with a wedge. I could hit that shot 100,000 times (and I consider myself an above-average wedge player) and never even come close to doing what Phil did. He has a legitimate case for best wedge player in the history of the game.

    Great win for Spieth as well. He has a sweet swing, and his short game is really solid. And he manages his game beautifully – he plays more like a 15-year vet than a rookie. If he can fill out and add 7-8 MPH of speed, he should be a force on Tour. Also, let me be the first to say that I want this kid on the Ryder Cup team in 2014… I’d much rather see him get some experience in it than watch Stricker/Furyk/Snedeker choke like a dog.

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