MC Mickelson And More Rory Excuses

The Tax Meter Doesn’t Tell It All

When I started keeping track of Phil’s taxes for the year based on his complaint from January about how he pays a 62% rate, I noted that this would only track his actual PGA Tour earnings. When Phil misses a cut in an average week I don’t update the total because he didn’t earn any cash. This week, that just isn’t the case as he still made money, but I won’t update it and will stick with the original outline of the Bitch Tits-Tax-O-Meter.

Have I lost you yet? Well, let me explain. Jim Justice threw his weight around (pun intended) and got the tour to shit-can the old Buick Open in Grand Blanc, Michigan and gave him a tournament in White Sulphur Springs, West Virginia at the Greenbrier Resort he owns. It seemed like a sweet heart deal and money talks, so the tour had to listen.

For Jim to get this thing off the ground he had to attract stars to his event. Justice did so by making Tom Watson professional emeritus. Watson has played every year at the Greenbrier since it became a tour event. Tiger Woods mysteriously added Greenbrier to his schedule a few years ago, played two rounds, and missed the cut. Mickelson has also made appearances in West Virginia for 3 years, missing the cut every time out.

Justice has made the tourney very family friendly, and having the players and their families on site for the 4th of July holiday makes it even more appealing to them. They engage in activities of falconry, fishing, shuffleboard, music concerts, casino games, etc. But that doesn’t pull guys like Tom Watson out of retirement, Mickelson across the country away from his family, or Tiger away from hunting poon. Although the tour doesn’t allow it per their policy, Justice pays these guys appearance fees by playing the angles. He pays Bitch Tits to do a clinic ( a couple million), who knows that he pays Watson to be the pro emeritus, and according to an article written last year by Steve Elling, he also paid Tiger similar money to what he gives Phil when TW made his one appearance here.

I’m not complaining about it, that’s capitalism at its best. That should be encouraged. What I think is pathetic is the stars Justice does pay (outside of Watson) don’t bother to take the tournament seriously. Phil says he can’t adjust his distance control. Greenbrier is in the mountains, so the ball flies about 7% further in the thinner air. Phil can’t do that math? Bullshit. He was pretty successful at the old International tourney in Colorado that was played in similar mountain air. Tiger said similar things when he played at Greenbrier. The fact is, these two have their prices. They show up for their two rounds and go home. This tournament is a paycheck and a chance for them to work on their games a bit. It’s their job. Good for them for pulling the plug and leaving early.

Rory Had ‘Sponsor’ Obligations

More bullshit from a tour player. Rory McIlroy chopping it around the Irish Open last week lead journos to ask, will he play again before the Open Championship to sharpen his game? Rory’s answer was that he couldn’t, he had sponsor events and obligations that conflicted with the dates of the French and Scottish Opens. Ummmm…….they pay you to play and wear their logos. Do you think they’d reschedule a VIP dinner or golf clinic around your schedule? You bet their ass they would, and that way they’d also get some bang for their buck while you’re out there playing with their logo on. Nice excuse Rory. The truth is more likely this……

My guess is Rory never seriously considered playing in either event because his balls were already nicely squeezed in to Ms. Wozniacki’s purse that she’d be using as an accessory at the wedding. Come on Rors. This is your profession. You play this game to win majors and be one of the greatest players in the world. Missing a wedding of your girlfriend’s gal pal is hardly a reason to fuck with your chances of winning a British Open.

BTW, that’s probably the best I’ve seen this girl look yet. It seems she cleans up better than expected. I’m curious though, if he has time to attend a wedding on Saturday, why couldn’t he have also played in the French Open? Better still, what would either of them have done had she been playing in the women’s final at Wimbledon? Like I said, ‘sponsor obligations’ was just another excuse.

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