Tiger’s Fuck Buddy

Most single males between the ages of 16 and 30 have one. It’s just a fact. You keep her around for one reason.  She’s your go to at 3 am when you get home from the bar. You never take her out, you never buy her dinner, the girl is used and abused and she truly believes one day you’ll take her home to meet your mom. That is what a fuck buddy is for, and that is how Tiger Woods treats Torrey Pines.

Torrey Pines South is Tiger’s 3 am phone call, his Perkins’ waitress before there was a Perkins’ waitress, or his slightly chubby college neighbor that doesn’t understand why he has to drink so much before he kisses her. You get the point. He can do whatever he wants around this golf course and it won’t matter because he’ll end up on top of the leader board when the tournament dust settles. Just ask Rocco.

The day started with him sticking it on the par three 3rd after making birdie on 2. He hit a spinner into 13 green to set up a tap in bird and the route was on. Vintage Eldrick Woods up to that point. Then boring golf set it. We were forced to watch him start hacking it around while the rest of the field was stuck in neutral. Sneds and Watney didn’t have enough amo and were only firing blanks. Tiger even bogeyed 18 for the first time in some 60 all time professional rounds on the South course just to give these dopes a chance.

To start the 4th round Woods hit two snap hooks like I do, yet somehow stayed level par. Hit it tight on the par 3 third and made birdie. Block right on 4 behind a tree, no problem, chicken wing it to the front and chip it in…… 2 under hitting it crooked. Two-putt birdie on 6 and finally hit a fairway on 7……you would have thought he was 3 over. Instead he’s 3 under for the round and six shots clear of the mortals when play was suspended for the day due to darkness . I think its safe to call this win number 75 for the Swooshed Cat.

TV Time

CBS was stellar today. McCord didn’t over talk, Feherty didn’t tell bad jokes, and Kostis didn’t break down Ray Ramono’s swing like he will for the umpteenth year at Pebble in two weeks. Aside from Faldo worrying about Tiger’s shirt color, they were pretty good, especially when you consider the length of time they were on the air. How many of these guys had to bite their tongue when Baker-Finch said, “that’s the happy ending Tiger wanted”? The commentary McCord and Feherty had about lasers/GPS not being allowed on tour to speed up play was spot-on. Nice work.

Tiger Rumors

Plenty of rumors swirling about the web concerning Tiger getting back together with Elin. Boring. Plenty more rumors about him stopping in the Swiss Alps on his way to the Middle East last week to see Lindsey Vonn (his actual fuck buddy). I’m not going to get into pre-nups, 2nd marriages, or Tiger’s love life right now…..but let me ask you this…..who would you choose? Elin or Lindsey?

Lindsey above…..looks fit and athletic, but her bio says she’s 160 lbs….yikes!

Elin below…..no complaints, but I’ve heard her twin sister has the better tots.


Enjoy the golf tomorrow if you even decide to tune in (TGC around 2 EST). This is what DVRs are built for, my sick days are for playing real golf, not watching it.

On to PHX!

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5 Responses to Tiger’s Fuck Buddy

  1. DTShangers says:

    He does have a type…

  2. Steve says:

    I think I’d go with Lindsey here. She is 5’10” so she probably wears here 160 lbs pretty well. Elin just looks too sterile and buttoned down to me.

  3. Carl Spackler says:

    I bet Lindsey could do more damage with her bare hands than Elin could do to Tiger with a five iron.

  4. Pingback: Lindsey & Elin Are BFFs, Tiger Chipping And Other Hump Day Musings |

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