If it seems like 6 weeks ago when I started my end of year award show, well….it was. Once the Fed Ex Cup Playoffs ended I got rolling on these but put the show-stopper at the end of the line. I also wanted to wait for the WAGS of the Presidents Cup to assert themselves and make one last strong push for the award. Some of them put their best foot forward, but still fell short of making the final cut. Without much else going on the in the golf world on Thanksgiving week, this seems like the perfect time to finally publish this post.
I’m stretching the rules a bit on this and straying a bit from the the parameters of the title. One of the nominees will be neither a wife or girlfriend of a tour player or other golfer. Hey, she’s somebody’s WAG and she’s involved in golf, so she’s getting thrown in here. If you’ve already figured out the nominee, you’re smarter than most.
The Nominees Are
Amanda Dufner, Wife of PGA Champion Jason Dufner - The delightful Mrs. Dufner burst on to the golf seen in 2012 when Jason was on a hot streak and news broke that he was getting married right in the middle of it. The lull in Dufner’s game through much of 2013 kept her off the front pages of sites like this (and various copycats) but then Duf-Daddy won the PGA and well…the rest is history.
The Wannamaker, the ass pat….what else do you need to make your case if you’re Mrs. Duf? That’s a strong campaign when it comes to this award. She even handled all the publicity and media attention following the famed public display of affection like a champ. Does she still look good in those dopey red rubber boots all the Prez Cup wives were wearing? You bet your ass.
No need to thank me for editing out her ugly friend and Duf himself in swim trunks.
Lindsey Vonn, Girlfriend of World Ranked No. 1, Tiger Woods – I’ll bet the ranch that my regular readers are a bit surprised to see Vonn’s name in this post as anything other than a punchline. I have to be honest, she’s garnered way too much media attention for dating Tiger to be ignored in this category. Do I think she’s good looking? Referring to her as cattle for the last 10 months probably tells you my opinion. However, I like to think of this place as being somewhat democratic. Let’s just say she’s been nominated by popular vote. That doesn’t necessarily give her a chance to win the award. The committee’s opinion (mine and mine only) is what decides this thing.
Bonus points for playing with the squirrel in Davis Love’s pocket. Deduction of points for an awful interview on the Today Show in October.
Moving on….quickly………before Vonn’s man jaw makes me puke.
Holly Sonders, TGC Morning Drive Eye Candy, Girlfriend To Some Douche – I haven’t talked about Holly much here in recent months. No, that cease and desist order has nothing to do with it. I figured the readers here deserved better and had gotten sick of her. Still, every day a rather large number of Google searchers end up at this site by looking for her naked. Is it really that hard to find? Nope.
In my opinion, she still has some tranny-like qualities, especially her deep voice, but her and her bolt-ons make it hard……..errrrrr I mean her…… they make her hard to ignore if you constantly see her on the Golf Channel. Golf Digest couldn’t pass up their chance to let golfers buy their magazine based on masturbatory thoughts of Holly. She made their May cover just so they could do a little bio on her, let her give some fitness tips for golf, and then show several pictures of her in skimpy clothes. Brilliant! The Golf Channel also went and gave her the Playing Lessons show so they could show her in short skirts and tops that are snug on her tits.
Where Holly will lose points with the committee is the pure and simple fact that she really doesn’t fit the category. Being eternally engaged to some dork on a sports network no one watches doesn’t count much here. If she were nailing Adam Scott or GMac, well….she might have this thing locked up. Her rising fame in golf and popularity with my readers gets her a nod. Can she win? Wait and see.
Paulina Gretzky, TMZ Target, Daughter of Wayne, and Fiance’ of Golfer Dustin Johnson – The apple of the Great One’s eye. Sweet chlamydia inflicted Paulina. She’s had a big year. In January, shortly after Dustin won the Tournament of Champions, we found out that he was dating Wayne and Janet’s daughter. He even blew off the weekend at the Sony (called in sick) to spend quality time with her in paradise.
Now these two love birds are engaged, she’s getting magazine covers, and even got to introduce a category at the American Music Awards over the weekend. With all the attention I’ve given her, I’d like to think this site had something to do with that. Let me dream for a second, will you?
Anyone that reads my bullshit here with regularity would bet that Paulina is the heavy favorite to win the Shutter. I won’t disagree with that. She’s famous, she’s gorgeous, and she’s gone from an unknown to golfers to being engaged to a superstar in the blink of an eye. Her propensity to send out Instagram selfies only strengthens her case with the committee.
Why won’t she win in a landslide? Well, Dustin really didn’t have a great year. He won at the cusp of their relationship and only again after the 2013 season had ended and the dust had settle on the couples’ engagement. She might have been a distraction. Plus, has her fame jumped the shark? The Maxim cover and an award show appearance certainly seems to say that to me.
And The Winner Is……
I’ve given this a lot of thought. I’ve let the nominees have these last few weeks to truly dazzle me. Sonders? No, for the reasons I stated above. Vonn? Honestly, if she was even close to being hot she’d probably win. She had a great year for a WAG. The winner is Mrs. Jason Dufner. Take a bow Amanda (I’m picturing Duf swatting her ass again).
Paulina’s fame has become too much for me to give her this award. That’s not a bad thing in most circumstances, but if she’s more famous now than her golfing husband-to-be, well…..doesn’t he become the WAG?
Mrs. Dufner took the ass pat like a pro. Her hubby won a major in grand style. Then, his beloved alma mater named a street after him and she’s of course there to support him for that too.
Sure, she might be fat some day, but that doesn’t matter for the 2013 Shutter for WAG of the Year. She’s stunning and seems like a real person who takes out the garbage, makes her own turkey for Thanksgiving, and still gives JD a hummer when he needs one (unlike her competition for the award). On top of all that, I gave her bonus points for having to put up with the Dufnering fad that swept the golf world this year. That probably became pretty god damn annoying to her, but she played along. Good for her.
Right Or Wrong?
There you have it. The Shutters are done, complete, over. I hope you enjoyed them and I apologize for dragging them out. Did I get this one correct? Who would you have selected for your WAG of the Year in golf? Hit up the poll below to chime in or leave a comment if you care to write in an additional nominee.
I will also mention that this category will not have a repeat winner next year and probably not a single nominee from 2013 will be one again in 2014. There’s a strong field already vying for the Shutter. Jillian Stacey (Keegan Bradley) could make a strong case if Keegs has a good year and they get engaged/married/etc.
Also, a good year from Freddie could make Nadine Moze a strong candidate. The same goes for Jason Day and his wife, Ellie. Or better yet, perhaps a new wonderful WAG will emerge from out of left field.