Kirk Takes Boston: Final Thoughts On Deutsche Bank

The Win Should Not Make Him A Captain’s Pick

Chris Kirk shot 73 in round one of the Deutsche Bank on Friday and probably looked into changing his flight out of Logan to Saturday afternoon thinking he’d miss the cut. Then he bettered his opening round by 7 shots and found himself full of confidence trending up the leaderboard throughout the rest of the weekend. He played his last 37 holes 14 under par without carding a single bogey. That’s a minor miracle considering some of the awkward shots he struck in round four, but a few good breaks and made putts go a long ways in hiding your flaws.

Kirk played his last two rounds in Boston with world number 1, Rory McIlroy. He beat Rory by 4 shots playing head to head (though Rory did site mental fatigue has the cause of his average play). If you watched the action you saw Kirk go through much of the front nine unnoticed and somewhat unspectacular, but a birdie on the difficult 9th hole seemed to be a springboard for him into being a serious contender. Things got weird for Kirk on holes 12 through 18. On paper you’ll see that he played said holes at 2 under. If you watched the NBC broadcast you know that he dropped his club on every other shot, missed shots that bounced back in play or found the green via dumb luck, and even missed a short birdie putt on the final hole.

Kirk looked like the guy about to lose the tournament. Meanwhile Billy Horschel was hitting fairways and greens behind him (the group and also trailing Kirk by one shot), which is exactly what you’d expect a tour pro to do when challenging down the stretch. When Kirk made par on 18 and Billy Ho was sitting in the fairway a mere 5 or 6 iron away for his 2nd shot a playoff seemed inevitable. That is until Billy puked on his shoes while hitting what he described as the worst shot he hit all week. No shit. That’d also be the worst shot I hit all week. His ball found the hazard 50 yards or more short of the green. How a tour pro does that on firm fairways with that short of a club in their hands can only be described as a choke.

With the victory, his 2nd of the 2013-2014 wrap around season by the way, Kirk is now being put on the short list of candidates to be picked for Tom Watson’s United States Ryder Cup team. Ummm…….really? Get the fuck out of here. A win doesn’t put you on the map that easily. Kirk has had a decent year, but he hasn’t had a top 10 since the Memorial which was basically in May. His play today under pressure wasn’t exactly the stuff you would see out of a bonafide killer. And his two wins this ‘season’ were handed to him by Billy Horschel (today) and Briny Baird in November. Kirk told the Golf Channel and NBC before the round that he essentially felt the same way. He wants to earn his way on the team and he also has plans to be at the Georgia/Tennessee football game the same weekend as the Ryder Cup. I doubt he would turn down an invite, but I don’t think he should be expecting one either.

But Mrs. Kirk Would Help The US WAG Squad

If Kirk does somehow get picked, his wife Tahnee would greatly improve the eye candy provided by the WAGs attending the event. I’m a big fan of Mrs. Kirk, but I’m not going to sit here and get all pervee talking about her in his victory post. Why not you ask?

Mostly because I already did that in the post that discussed his win at the McGladrey. The other reason being that there’s no new pictures of Mrs. Kirk out there worth looking at.

Making The Cut

The tournament within the tournament at TPC Boston was the coverage of which players would make the cut into the top 70 of the current Fed Ex point standings. Top 70 and up and you’re on to Denver playing Cherry Hills in the BMW Championship next week. Number 71 or higher and your season is done. That’s part of the fun of the Fed Ex playoffs. This side story also helps to fill some time for the broadcast before shit gets real for the leaders on the back nine. On Monday in Boston Jerry Kelly and Ben Crane were under NBC’s microscope for making the BMW field.

Kelly came to 18 first, just as the Golf Channel and NBC transitioned the action to network TV. He thinned a fairway wood from 248 yards out and the shot hit the slope short of the green perfectly to allow Kelly’s ball to snuggle up to 6 feet for an eagle 3. Kelly was now in the BMW field as the 70th ranked player. An hour later Ben Crane came to 18 and made double, which dropped him from 60th to right on the edge of next week’s field. Somehow Crane’s position held, meanwhile Kelly dropped to the 71st spot until Jason Day’s late birdie somehow bumped the player in front of Kelly low enough in the current event to jump Jerry back to 70 on the nose.

I don’t usually care about this shit, but NBC did a decent job of presenting it so viewers knew what was going on and why. I could have given a shit about the outcome for either player, but for some reason (at the time Kelly was on the outside looking in) I found myself pissed at the fact that Kelly could eagle 18 and get bumped while Crane could make 7 and still move on.

Picking The Picks 

If you’re still too boozed up from a long holiday weekend to know that Tom Watson is making his captain’s picks tomorrow, all you need to know is that Golf Channel’s ‘Golf Central’ program will air the announcement live from New York around 6:30 Eastern. I’ve made the case against Kirk as a pick. I think Mahan punched his ticket last week. Keegan has been in for a month. Now its down to Snedeker, Simpson, Kirk, and Bill Haas for the last spot. I can’t justify any other pick at this point.

I’m starting to agree with the Forecaddie for the U.S. picks, but I can’t get passed the whole Mastercard relationship Sneeeeedeker and Watson have. Haas has played too well the last few weeks to ignore him. As for Europe, I’m on a different page than the Man Out Front. There’s no way Westwood isn’t on that team. Who gets left off instead? My gut says Luke Donald. He’s been fucking awful save his last two rounds in Boston. Plus, aren’t McGinley and Gallacher fellow countrymen? I guess we’ll find out soon enough.

WAG of the Month

September is here, and that means a new WAG of the Month must be crowned. Tim Clark’s wife had a good run, but its time to get serious. Chris Kirk’s wife could have got the nod, but he won in September. Meanwhile, Rory McIlroy won a WGC event at Firestone and the PGA Championship at Valhalla. So his girl, Sasha Gale, is getting the nod.

There wasn’t much else to choose from. Mrs. Mahan isn’t herself right now. Camilo’s girl isn’t hot. And the rest of the month belonged to Rory. This was a slam dunk. Now the only question is, is Rors still banging her and who’s going to hack his iCloud account?

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GMac Reproduces, Win’s Ice Bucket Fail, And Chella Choi Cheats: Hump Day Musings

Five And Counting

That’s how many of the 100 players eligible for this week’s Fed Ex Cup Playoff event in Boston are skipping the tournament. Jason Dufner is injured, Dustin Johnson is suspended, Justin Rose wants some rest, and Sergio is off molesting little boys…..errrrr……I mean, watching soccer or whatever the fuck he does. The 5th guy missing this week is Graeme McDowell. GMac at least has a legit reason for bailing, he and his bride Kristin Stape are having their first child together (she has a kid from a previous relationship).

Much to the chagrin of some of G’s friends, Stape will now have an anchor baby with GMac and that’s a big pay day for any tour wife no matter how their marriage unfolds. G is doing the right thing by skipping Boston to be present for the birth of his first child, so kudos to him for that. At the same time, he currently holds the last automatic spot in the Euro Ryder Cup rankings. By not playing in Europe or in Boston this weekend he is opening the door to being passed for that spot. My gut says Captain Paul McGinley will pick him either way, but McDowell’s move is gutsy nonetheless. I believe the birth is a scheduled cesarean. Why not bump it to Tuesday? I’m just saying…..

Well, She Got The Bucket Part Right

Its funny that I just moved from GMac to Win McMurry in one post because the two used to be fuck buddies. G thought he crushed her by dumping her right before he won the 2010 U.S. Open. I seriously doubt that because she’s actually a bit of a whore. Look, I think Win was sweetheart of a personality on the Golf Channel and she’s obviously hot, but fucking everyone you can to get ahead does make you a whore.  That is an undeniable fact.

She dated Michael Phelps. Yeah, the swimmer douche who can’t hit a golf ball on the club face no matter what Hank Haney tells him. That’s pretty bad. So why am I bringing her up today? Well, Win is the latest D list celebrity to exhaust us with her version of the insufferable ICE bucket challenge. She’s also in a bikini so I’m obligated to show you.

Ummmm…….sweet tits……you missed the whole thing about ice actually being in the bucket, you know. On a side note, Win apparently doesn’t work at the Golf Channel anymore. Is she going to Fox with Holly? I have no clue. The interwebs don’t have much info and her own website hasn’t been updated to provide any clues.

Chella The Cheater?

Last week at the Canadian Women’s Open, Chella Choi appeared to finish her round on the right side of the cut line on Friday afternoon. Stop if you’ve heard this before, a viewer called in to raise an issue about how Ms. Choi marked her ball on the 10th green. I can’t embed the video here because my version of WordPress blows donkey balls, but you can check it out on the Golf Channel’s site linked here.

First of all, she’s using an orange ball. Just fucking DQ her right there. In all seriousness, if you watched the video you can clearly see her malicious act that got her a two stroke penalty. There is no mistaking what she did and the LPGA officials did what they had to in hitting her the penalty. Where this gets weird is that she didn’t agree with the tour’s action and she decided to withdraw from the event. It really didn’t matter because the penalty cost her making the cut in the first place, but her protest makes her look like a cunt. The fact that she’s so defiant in this even with the video showing her breach, well…..I don’t think you’ll see sponsors knocking on her door anytime soon. Don’t you just love women’s golf?

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Mahan Is Money, Phil Was Here, & Tiger Dumps Foley: Final Thoughts On Barclays

Hopefully Mrs. Mahan Doesn’t Try To Eat The Trophy

Whew…..what a weekend. And you fuckers thought I just walked off the face of the earth and forgot to post? Not happening. I took a little vacay and tried to stay away from the computer as I golfed my ball and splashed in lakes. While I was away the Barclays was contested at Ringworm…….errrrr…..Ridgewood Country Club in Paramus, New Jersey. Jim Furyk and Jason Day played in the final group and Furyk again failed to convert a 54 hole lead for the umpteenth time in the last 3 seasons. In the end it was solid play from Hunter Mahan that boosted is sorry season to date to the top of the Fed Ex standings after one playoff event.

Hunter took the tournament by the balls by making birdie on 5 of 8 holes to start his back nine en route to a final round 65. Playing in the penultimate group, Mahan posted 14 under on the long and rugged composite Ridgewood track which left contenders like Tringale, Day, Furyk, Kuchar, and Appleby in the dust and out of holes. Clearly, this is the best Mahan’s game as looked all year. He’s a ball beater, and when he makes putts he can win on any given week. Is that enough to be one of Tom Watson’s picks for the Ryder Cup team?

We’ll have to wait and see. I’d say yes, barring someone jumping up and taking Boston by storm next week. This should lead to Watson taking Snedeker, Bradley, and Mahan with Dufner now all but officially on the shelf. All 3 picks would be justifiable and deserved, but in the back of my mind I’ll be wondering about what Mahan really has going on inside his head when the cup is on the line. I’ll never forget this choke job from 2010:

What do I know? Maybe Hunter has something to prove because of that and being left of the 2012 team of losers from Medinah. Watson has some big decisions coming his way around this time next week, but I’m struggling to make a case for anyone other than the 3 I’ve listed above.

Kandi Isn’t So Dandy

Most of you probably know that Hunter Mahan’s wife, Kandi, is a former Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. When you’re a millionaire professional athlete, even if you’re as butt fucking ugly as Mahan, you get access to prime time ass like an NFL cheerleader. That is the way of the world, I have accepted it. You should too. As you can see below, Kandi was nothing to sneeze at in her cheerleading prime. While she was probably the ugliest chick on the squad, she did the right thing by latching on to Hunter at first site of his checking account balance.

As you can see by the picture of her with Hunter and the Barclays trophy up top, she’s had a hard time coming back from having a kid 13 months ago. Recall that Mahan WD’d from the 2013 Canadian Open while hitting balls before his 3rd round as the leader of the tournament. A year is a long time. My wife worked a full time job and had herself back at her ‘playing weight’ within 12 weeks of having a kid. Kandi has access to nannies and personal trainers galore. She’s no longer a cheerleader, but as a trophy wife her lone job is to look like a hot milf every waking hour. Clearly she’s let herself enjoy day time television and junk food in her first year of motherhood.

Oh, you think I’m being too harsh? Hey, its a fact. I’d love to stick Hunter with a shot of truth serum and see what he really has to say about his wife’s diet and workout regimen.


Rip me all you want for that, I can take it. My guess is that when you fuckers saw Kandi come out for the trophy presentation you thought the same thing. Lets just pretend we didn’t see and enjoy the pictures of the old Kandi I’ve provided.

Phil Was Where? 

Friday afternoon at the Barclays was a little sleepy on the Golf Channel’s broadcast even with Rory and Phil both battling the golf course intent on making the weekend. Then Phil went all Phil. By now you’ve seen it because I’m 3 days late and $100 short on this one. The 5th hole at Ridgewood is a 295 yard par 4. Phil was playing it as his 14th hole of the day when he lashed a driver 60 yards left of the green up into a hospitality area. The ball stayed on the astroturf that the patrons watch from and instead of Phil taking relief from it the fans egged him into hitting his 2nd shot as it lay. Only FIGJAM.

Phil made bogey, but did so in the most flamboyant way that one can and hung on to barely make the cut. What could he possibly do to top that Saturday in round 3. Hit it in the same tent and make par? You got it. It doesn’t sound possible, but anything is possible when you put a driver in Bitch Tit’s hands.

Classic Phil. Unfortunately he hacked it around so bad on Saturday that he failed to survive the 3rd round cut (too many players made the 36 hole cut). New Jersey fans with Sunday tickets didn’t get to see their beloved lefty gambler. On his final hole of the round Phil also made a $20 bet with a fan that he’d make birdie from the rough just off the 18th fairway. He failed and paid the fan in full after he walked off the green. And all of that is why golf fans love him. Don’t ever change, Phil.

Shot Of The Week

This category is a little light this week. There were some good ones, but if I have to pick just one I’ll give it to the sniper that took out the volunteer marshal at Ridgewood. As the boys at No Laying Up point out, this was pin point accuracy at its best.

Fat guys fall hard.

Did Tiger Dump Sean For Rory? 

As I opined last week, Tiger Woods has a serious bromance going on with Rory McIlroy. There simply isn’t enough room in his heart for other men, therefore TW broke the word to the golf media on Monday that he was no longer going to be working with swing coach Sean Foley. Well, who didn’t see that coming?

Rumors that TW and Butch would be working together again soon started circling about 8 or 9 weeks ago. As of the time of this post Woods still hasn’t said who his next teacher will be. And Butch has stated that he hasn’t been contacted by Tiger. That’s all bull shit. Who is left for Tiger to go to? He’s not going to join the Sea Island choir boys and see Todd Anderson. I think they all have to go to church together before lessons. Can you see Woods doing that? To me it is Butch or nobody. In reality, he should do to Rory what Adam Scott did to him, that being, copy a swing that you want with a Xerox machine.

What does this news mean for now? Jack shit until we get an official announcement as to who Woods will learn from. The fact that Tiger can’t even hit balls for 3 more months makes the change even more interesting. It also sounds like a poll question. Who do you think Tiger ends up with as his next instructor?






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Tiger Hearts Rory & Vice Versa

After The Show They Grabbed Dinner And Banged Seven Hookers

Last year when Nike signed Rory McIlroy to a $250 million contract some (ok, probably just me) speculated that this was the beginning of the end for Tiger and Nike. There was even chatter (still likely just me) that Tiger wouldn’t like the spotlight being taken from him, especially from his boy Phil Knight and the golf brand of the Phil’s company that wouldn’t be there without Tiger. Clearly that way of thinking was nonsensical in every way you could imagine. Tiger and Rory now have a full blown bromance going on. It is actually kind of cute, in a gay sort of way.

That clip is nine minutes of footage showing the entire appearance by the dynamic duo on the Tonight Show which aired August 18th. If you didn’t see it, then thank me later for saving you the pain of watching Bill Cosby have 5 strokes in the prior segment. If you could get past Tiger dressing like an extra from A Night At The Roxbury then you know Rors and TW were booked on the show by their bosses at Nike to promote the new Vapor irons that they ‘helped’ design. Like any good company men, they put on their smiles and pretended like they wanted to be there to shill their product. In some ways, I think Tiger actually likes doing things like this and he’s enjoying time with Rory. He’s always been a different cat (pun intended) when it comes to his pals, how he socializes, etc.

He has his friends like Notah Begay, Byron Bell and Jerry Chang that are his old stand-bys that make up a group in which he’ll always be the alpha of. Then he has his friends like Barkley, Federer, and Michael Jordan which are his contemporaries from other walks of sport. In golf, he hasn’t had anyone in that group, at least not that are currently playing (Jack and Arnie are too old to count)……until now. Rory is entering this neighborhood, and while I’d bet a mortgage payment that Tiger sees Rors as a little brother, he also respects him, his game, and enjoys the fact that Rory idolizes him. For a narcissist like Tiger, that’s the beginning of a beautiful relationship. Just look at these two love birds fulfilling their ice-bucket challenge obligation on the Twitter.

By the way, that fucking thing can’t go away soon enough.

I Bet Tiger Even Calls Him The Morning After

What does any of this mean other than my random thoughts being spewed on to permanent record on the interwebs? I think it means plenty. Look at how Tiger sized Rory up in the video from Fallon, how he even had to force a compliment out of his mouth to praise Rory’s recent run. That had to be tough on the Big Cat, but it also means he sees McIlroy as a serious threat to him.

If this friendship does one thing as it blossoms, it will motivate Tiger for the next handful of years like nothing else will. He knows he can’t dominate again, but he’s going to try like hell to hold off McIlroy and still catch Jack. If at the same time Rory is the match lights a fire under his ass, so be it. Rory might even be the reason those Tiger/Butch Harmon rumors are becoming more prevalent than ever.

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Villegas Wins Wyndham: Final Thoughts On Wildcard Weekend

Where did Camilo Come From? 

Before today Camilo Villegas hadn’t won on tour in four years. The once ‘next big thing’ that rocked a Tiger-less Fed Ex Cup playoff run in 2008 didn’t even have a top ten finish all year. But a funny thing called motivation hits all sorts of players in the week of golf that is sandwiched between the PGA Championship and the upcoming Fed Ex events. You see, if you’re outside of the top 125 after this week your season is over. You’re also looking at playing on the Tour or fighting for your life in some stage of Q-school (I have no clue how Q-school works these days). That’s why the Wyndham was being tagged as Wildcard Weekend. It didn’t disappoint.

Camilo Villegas

Camilo started his day 4 shots behind Nick Watney and raced out to a front nine 29 to get everyone’s attention. His back nine was stellar but not spectacular and included 8 pars and a two putt birdie on the par five 15th. He posted a final round 63 and a clubhouse lead of 17 under with Watney, Slocum, Haas and Jacobson on his heels and still on the course. When all three stumbled on the 18th, Camilo was the winner by default, and I don’t think anyone had him pegged to play well here to start the week.

I can’t figure out what today’s win truly means to Villegas. He probably thinks it means all his hard work is paying off and he’s going to be a contender in more tournaments throughout the next year or so. I’m not sure I could agree with that. This was almost fluky in a way. He had two great rounds to bookend this tournament, but the 2nd and 3rd rounds were just….meh, but tour standards. Then to have Watney and others hand him this thing without a fight, it seems like his win was more of a right place/right time kind of thing.

Camilo’s Girl

No, it’s not what he sees when he looks in the mirror. And for all of you that think a tiny metro sexual Colombian man is gay, well….shame on you. From what the interwebs tell me, Mr. Villegas does quite well in the ‘laying pipe’ department. However, this woman, Maria Ochoa, is what shows up when ask the Google machine who is girlfriend is.

camilo gf2

camilo gf

Maybe she’s got a great set of knockers under there and we can’t see them. When I look at her only one word comes to mind. ‘Handsome’ is that word. Maybe those rumors about Camilo were started about people that know more than the rest of the internet does.

The Field

Heath Slocum (that’s what she said, re: slow cum if you’re not getting it) set himself up to make up for a year of shitty golf by knocking off a big win at the Wyndham. His late bombs on 15 for eagle and 16 for birdie had him tied with Camilo and looking good to not only get the win but to move into the top 125, play next week, and hold on to his exempt status on the PGA Tour. His exasperating bogies on the subsequent holes probably felt like his doctor checking his prostate once he had time to think about what he’d just done. He finished 129th in Fed Ex Points.

Nick Watney made only one bogey in the first 54 holes of the tournament. He made two on Sunday plus that double we all saw after hitting his tee shot O.B. on the last hole. That was bad luck thanks to a shitty bounce. This is also one of the many times that Watney has failed to close a 54 hole lead. The good news for Nick is that his game is showing signs of life for the first time all year. He also played well in Tahoe two weeks ago. Earlier this week the Golf Channel revealed why Nick has struggled all year. It seems he and the Mrs. had their first child last spring. Being a new dad has never been great for anyone’s golf game.

When Sunday started all eyes were on the Webb Simpson/Brand Snedeker pairing that was a few shots back of the leaders. All eyes were on them because they were the biggest names outside of Watney that could threaten to win and both were also expected to be auditioning for Tom Watson’s Ryder Cup team. I think a win by either would have locked up a spot. Instead neither put up much of a fight and could easily be passed by if a player like Watney stayed hot and won in the next two weeks. Yeah, you read that right. A win by Watney in NYC or Boston to go with a good showing this week and boom….I think Watson has to take him.

Au Revoir For Ogilvie

Duke grad Joe Ogilvie has been a PGA Tour journey man for over 20 years. He’s had a lucrative career but has played awful for some time now and didn’t make enough money or Fed Ex points this year in his limited starts to gain exempt status for the 2014/2015 season. Joe’s no idiot. He’s a financial wiz who has decided not to beg for sponsor invites to make a living. Instead he’s going to focus on being a full-time investment banker.

Golf Channel broke the news earlier this week that Joe was hanging up his spikes. And TGC also took note when Joe walked up this last hole at the Wyndham to complete his 399th event on tour. Ogilvie is also the odds on favorite to be the next commissioner of the tour. This investment banking thing may only be temporary.

Tv Time

I’ve stayed away from commenting on the broadcasting abilities of the various networks that cover golf this season. Unless something was absolutely awful or done brilliantly I’ve learned to let it go. Not today. Not with that shameful effort from CBS. Peter Kostis is a pro’s pro. He was fine. He’s not getting dragged into this. Nantz couldn’t work for some reason this week. Same with Faldo. The overtime work last week at the PGA must have hurt their vaginas. McCord and Feherty. MIA, don’t ask me why. That left us with Pete, Rich Beem, Finchy, and Bill fucking MacAtee. Why couldn’t they get Oosite to drive over from Charlotte where he lives and work the weekend??? He did the Thursday/Friday stuff for the Golf Channel.

Shame on those guys for blowing off the Wyndham, but shame on CBS for thinking Bill is a suitable replacement. He’s like a robot. A unik. No personality, just a voice that puts you to sleep on your couch. Then, with the tournament at full throat and Villegas in at 17 under, Slocum, Jacobson, and Watney are all playing the 18th with something on the line and he’s asleep at the wheel. With Watney’s tee shot sitting on the wrong side of the out of bounds stakes, MacAtee had no clue that the tournament belonged to Camilo once Jacobson’s par putt missed. He had to be told from the producers and Finchy still beat him to the punch. How in god’s name is that possible? For all Nantz’ faults, at least he has a pulse in the tower and knows what the fuck is going on within the tourney. Billy Mac is dead to me.


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Gunn Yang Wins U.S. Am

Get Your Tickets To the Gunn Show

On paper the US. Amateur final looked like San Diego State’s Gunn Yang v. Kent State’s Correy Conners. In reality it was David v. Goliath as well as South Korea v. Canada. Yang was ranked as the 776th amateur in the world. As NBC showed viewers, no other finalist in this event had been ranked much lower than 150th. Conners ranked somewhere around 35. Conners had also been in the semi-finals of the Am before (2013) and had himself quite a collegiate career. To date, Yang has only played in 4 NCAA events. Yang is also only a year removed from back surgery and had his college coach threatening to take him off scholarship this year. Of course that is about to change.

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Yang defeated Conners 2 &1 in the 36 hole championship match on Sunday. For those of you that saw the Wyndham end early, I hope you got the chance to click over and check out the last 5 or 6 holes of the final USGA event on NBC airwaves. From what I saw, the match was cleanly played save one shot by Yang that he got away with. Yang took an early lead but was never up by more than 2 holes. Conners tied him a few times and also took a brief one hole lead in the morning round. The match was halted by severe weather with 6 holes to play.

After the delay Yang came out fully intent on building a lead and putting the championship away. On the 30th hole he hit a 235 yard 3 iron to 10 feet, but missed the eagle putt and Conners matched with birdie. Both halved the 13th hole with pars, then Yang made a 20 foot birdie on the 14th to extend his lead. That should have been the death blow, except for the fact that Yang shanked his 2 iron on the next tee playing the 260 yard par three 15th. Yeah, the hole where David Toms made an ace in the PGA eons ago.

Yang caught a break when his tee shot bounced off a tree limb and stayed out of the hazard. Conners hit the middle of the green and made par while Yang made the save of his life by getting up and down from the wrong side of the water. His lead stayed at 2 up with 3 to play and Conners was in trouble. The matched ended with the players matching great shots and stock pars on the next two holes.

Caddie Controversy 

That’s USGA President Tom O’Toole that got jilted by Yang on the congratulatory handshake. I swear he’s not the kid from A Christmas Story all grown up.

It seems as though there were several instances in which O’Toole had to ask Yang’s caddie not to stand behind him while he hit his shots and putts. That’s not allowed as you probably know. The penalty for this in match play is loss of hole. What I don’t get is why there was never any action taken by O’Toole when Yang’s caddie did this?

NBC should have made viewers and the USGA more aware of this situation. What NBC did tell us was that Yang’s caddie was strictly a volunteer. I have no clue how he got paired up with Gunn, but he made an arrangement with him early in the week to loop for free, so long as Yang took him to Augusta if he made it to the final. You can bet that promise is getting cashed in.

There’s no truth to the rumor that Yang’s promised him total consciousness. Perhaps he’s also got that going for him. Which is nice.

Don’t feel too bad for Conners. He’s going to play professionally and make money doing so. But before that happens he’ll be holding on to his amateur status at least through the U.S. Open at Chambers Bay next June. As my tweet above notes, by simply making it to the finals you’re exempt into the U.S. Open and likely invited to the Masters too. That has to be the best non-monetary 2nd place prize in all of golf.

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Ta Ta, Tiger…..Woods Tells Watson He’s Out For Gleneagles

In Other News, I’m Opting Out Of The Mr. Universe Contest

Late in the afternoon on Wednesday Tiger Woods issued a statement saying that he’s shutting down his golf game for the foreseeable future so that he can get his body right. Hmm…..didn’t I ask him to do just that a week ago? With the statement Woods was notifying the PGA of America that he is taking his name out of consideration for a captain’s pick for the U.S. Ryder Cup team. Now Tom Watson can relieve his bowels for the first time in about 3 weeks. I assume he’s been a little backed up thanks to the stress of the Tiger/injury situation. Woods also said he will play no golf until his World Challenge event at Isleworth in the first week of December.

That sounds about right. TW says his latest injury has nothing to do with his recent back surgery, but he has to give his back muscles time to heal. Doctors have advised him not to play or practice during this time. This is the 2nd time of the calendar year that Woods has been/will be away from the game for 100+ days. If you’re scoring at home, please note that I’ve won more tournaments than Tiger this year.

Who Will Watson Pick? 

Now that TW is off the table, who will Watson elect to pick? The good news is that he can essentially hold auditions for the next 3 weeks on tour. For me it comes down to Dufner’s health, and then who plays the best in this sprint between Snedeker, Mahan, Ryan Moore, and whatever wildcard might burst from the pack to win or top 5 in the next few consecutive events. If you keep seeing Mastercard spots with Watson and Snedeker and think that makes BS a likely pick, I think you’re right. Sneeeedeker. You think I’m forgetting Keegan Bradley? No chance. I just believe he’s already a lock.

If you’re overlooking Ryan Moore, think again. He’s had a decent season, but he’s also a phenomenal match play competitor. Remember, he won the U.S. Am and Publinks in the same year. He’s also had a decent track record in the WGC Match Play. There’s no sure fire right answer for Watson. If he loses he’ll get second guessed no matter who he picks. One of them will under perform and make him look stupid. If he wins, he’s a genius, even though he never hit a shot. Hey, the 2008 team made Paul Azinger look like a genius. That’s hard to do.

Speaking Of Match Play

The U.S. Amateur is being contested this week at the Atlanta Athletic Club. Several of the favorites made it to match play and a few of them had their bubble burst in the round of 64 that was completed today. Three time U.S. Mid-Amateur champion Nate Smith beat top seed Lee McCoy in a close match. Recent and last U.S. Publinks champion  Byron Meth won his match to advance. Top ranked amateur in the world, Georgia Tech’s Ollie Schniederjans, won his match 6&5 in a blowout while playing close to home.

Remember the pimple faced kid (above) who contended briefly at the 2012 U.S. Open at the Olympic Club? His name was Beau Hossler, and he’s now a sophomore at Texas. He’s lost the Colin Montgomerie swing and man boobs, he’s fresh off a big win at the Western Amateur a few weeks ago, but he lost his first round match today in an upset. His teammate this fall and 2013 U.S. Junior Am champ, Scottie Scheffler, also lost his first round match. Alabama’s super frosh Robbie Shelton won us match getting it to dormie with four holes to play, then barely held on to win on the 17th green.

The matches really heat up tomorrow as the boys play two rounds (if they advance). What I’m still trying to figure out is who blew who to get the U.S. Am to Hotlanta in August? That’s idiotic. So far this week the temps have been mild. When the finalists are dragging around on Sunday playing their 150th holes of the week in the heat that’s heading that way, we’ll see how smart the USGA was. Either way, check out the action on the Golf Channel while you’re bored at work this week. Each match provides Sunday drama during the middle of the week. How can you beat that?

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Jimmy Disses Tour Players, Tour Zings Back

How Did Fallon Omit A Shot A Phil? 

Last night on the Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon decided to take some pot shots at several PGA Tour players based on how they appear in the tour’s media guide. What followed was priceless, but not without consequences.

The Duck having to take a shit? Yeah, that’s good. How does he not see ‘the rapist’ in Jimenez? The Biden joke was weak. Hole-in-one Direction, solid. Metrosexual Ernie is pretty good. The shot at de Jonge…..Satan and an egg???? Ok. The joke at Chris Kirk, well even Kirk took to Twitter to say he needed a new head shot.

What’s funny to me is Jimmy’s sidekick making jokes at these guys. Fat fucker looks like Gumby and Buddy Holly had a love child. Steve Higgins, voted most likely to blow Jimmy Fallon for pure enjoyment.

The Empire Strikes Back

The tour went to bat for its members and defended them, as they should. They took Jimmy to task by releasing the following tweet.

I think someone in Ponte Vedra dropped the mic as they left the office today. Nice work, and good fun by both parties.

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PGA Championship: The Finale

Well That Was Boring

There was a little bit of everything for everyone on Sunday at Valhalla. Mostly, there was epic golf played by the brightest stars in the game. Rory McIlroy started the day with a one stroke lead over Bernd Wiesberger of Austria, with Rickie Fowler 2 shots behind and Phil Mickelson 3. Then all hell broke loose. Rory struggled out of the gate while Mickelson and Fowler went on birdie binges. As I predicted yesterday, Wiesberger wasn’t shown again after the middle of the front nine. This became a four horse race with Fowler, Stenson, Mickelson and McIlroy jockeying for position once they hit the quarter pole.

Rory McIlroy

To make things more chaotic, a 90 minute weather delay put the completion of the final round in jeopardy thanks to the PGA of America sticking with originally planned late afternoon tee times. Playing a soaking wet golf course, every pin was a green light special and the birdie fest was on for the entire field. Just as it looked like it wasn’t going to be Rory’s day, he ‘necked’ a 3 wood into the 10th green to 8 feet and made the eagle putt. Game on. Phil and Rickie felt it coming. I trust that Stenson did too as his game suddenly went to shit over the last 4 holes.

The clincher for Rors came at the 17th hole. His drive found the fairway bunker but settled into a perfect lie and stance. He lofted a short iron into the air, dropped it about 14 feet from the hole, and raked in the simple right to left putt to make birdie and give himself a 2 shot margin. He walked to the 18th tee, the 72nd hole of a major in which he’s winning, with darkness looming. Having Phil and Rickie just leaving the tee he asked to play up with them. Chaos ensued.

After Phil was tracked down and told what was about to happen, Rory’s group hit over them and then walked up behind them as Phil and Rickie hit 2nd shots to the final hole. Both players knew they really needed eagles to have any chance to tie McIlroy. Neither could convert. Once McIlroy’s tee shot was (barely) dry a 2nd PGA Championship was his. Unlike his past major victories, Rory actually had to grind this one out down to the last hole under some fairly bizarre circumstances. He’s clearly the best player in the game right now. The way he bullied his group up the 18th fairway behind Mickelson and Fowler was fittingly similar to the way he’s bullying his competition right now. His 4th major at the age of 25 puts him in rare company with Tiger and Jack. Earlier this week Nicklaus himself said 15 to 20 majors wasn’t out of the question for McIlroy. Time will tell.

The Field

Oh FIGJAM, what a day, and what a cruel world. His 2nd place finish today means he’s now finished 2nd in every major. Is that some type of career slam? He has to feel snake bitten again because yet another once-in-a-generation-player is taking trophies off his mantle. He played his guts out today and in the end felt pissed off about how the whole “playing up” thing worked out. Still, Mickelsauce didn’t let on that he was wronged in anyway. He said the chaos didn’t impact the outcome. Rory also credited Phil for the sportsmanship he showed in allowing the final group to play up even if it was against his will.

Phil’s not going to sleep well tonight. He can’t. He lost by one shot and he left a par putt on the 16th hole short right in the middle of the jar. If you’re Phil-fucking-Mickelson you can’t do that. This was still a great week for Phil and his great play on Sunday did help him leap up the U.S. Ryder Cup standings and into an automatic pick.

Rickie Fowler had this thing by the balls at one point on Sunday. He recovered from a bad tee shot on the 2nd hole to birdie 4 of the next 5 holes. He was electric. His tee shots were bombed past Phil all day. After he made a long putt for birdie at the 10th I was starting to think this was Rickie’s moment. But Rick didn’t have the horse power to hang with Rory. His nerves caught up to him a bit with wayward shots on 14 and 16. He admitted his poor swings came from not being able to commit to the shots.

Fowler has nothing to be ashamed of. He didn’t win today, he and Phil both just got beat by a better player. And for Rick, his T3 finish means that he finished T5, 2, T2, and T3 in the four majors this year. That’s only been done a few times by guys named Nicklaus and Woods. Although, Rickie’s 2014 resume is the only one with that high of finishes that doesn’t include a win.

And then there’s Henrik Stenson. Henrik was right there with Fowler, Mickelson, and Rory for the entire day. To me it seemed as though once he saw his name on top of the leaderboard he let the moment get to him. He had an inexplicable 3 jack at the 14th and followed that up with a shank on a later hole. Then he hit 3 wood off the tee at the 18th hole which is a reachable par 5? I don’t get it.

He’s been here before. He has the most top 10s in majors since 2008 without a win besides Lee Westwood. Like Lee, his putter seems to get a little flaky when things get heated down the stretch of a major.

Winners & Losers Of The Week


Rory McIlroy – As always, the winner is the biggest winner. So how could Rors possibly do more than win his 3rd straight tourney and 2nd straight major? He could save President of the PGA of America, Ted Bishop’s ass, by catching the top of the Wanamaker trophy before it clanged to the ground.

He also saved Ted’s ass by getting his round in and having the championship completed on Sunday. If there’s any chance of weather delaying a final round, tee times should be moved up so that players aren’t challenging darkness. Plain and simple. Why risk having to play in to Monday? Thanks to Rory and his pushiness to tee it up on 18 we didn’t have to see things play out that way.

Rickie Fowler – Rick’s finishes in the majors this year that were noted above are why he makes the winner list. That and I don’t feel as though he ‘lost’ on Sunday at Valhalla. Unfortunately for Rick, his clothing sponsor won’t be making the winner list this week.

Yeah, you all saw it too. Was it really that hot out there? Isn’t the Puma gear made of dry fit material? And if his ass was that saturated, I’d imagine that yardage book he was looking at was pretty nasty too.

CBS -  Bear with me here. Take Nantz, Faldo, and McCord out of this equation and I thought CBS was great all weekend. The use of ProTracer, Trackman info, hole graphics, etc., that was all spot on. We probably could have seen a bit more of the tech on the broadcasts, but I’ll take what I got. I thought David Feherty was phenomenal. From his assist in Jason Day’s par on Saturday to his calls from the thick of the Sunday action he did it all.

Kostis was pretty good too and deserves mention. Everybody else…. fuck it, I didn’t notice, but I did see Faldo and McCord getting killed on Twitter. Nantz’ closing tag line did almost make me puke. The real reason the network makes the the winner list is because I think they’re going to see that the Rory era has started when the ratings come out in the next day or so. This thing was an all-timer and they’ll reap the benefits of it.

Valhalla – There’s no bones about it, on paper this place isn’t made for a major championship. But golf isn’t played on paper. A thrilling Ryder Cup, 3 epic PGA Championships, what else do you want from the Kentucky course? So what that you get a replay if your ball hits a power line? Who cares that there are a few waterfalls in play? The fans show up in huge numbers and the venue allows for fun, legendary golf to be played. Bravo.

Embedded image permalink

Even more kudos for Valhalla, the track was built to drain. In 2011 the PGA put in sub-air drainage systems. Without that system this championship would never have finished on Sunday, no fucking chance. That image above was taken about 90 minutes before the leaders teed off. Great golf and good drainage makes Valhalla a winner today.

Tom Watson – As recently as Thursday Tom Watson was probably having severe anxiety about how he could assemble a winning team for next month’s Ryder Cup. I think he’ll sleep a little better today after seeing what Phil and Rickie can do, Plus, Jimmy Walker carded a 65 to rise up the leaderboard.

Now Tom has a team that includes Bubba, Jimmy, Phil, Furyk, Zach Johnson, Patrick Reed, Jordan Spieth, Matt Kuchar, and Fowler. Who he picks with his 3 choices is anybody’s guess. Dufner, Ryan Moore, and Brendon Todd are next on the list. I think Duf is in if he’s healthy. After that, Keegan is a lock, and Snedeker, Mahan, and even Ryan Moore are on the bubble. Either way, I think that team came a long way in the last 3 days even though they’ll still be an underdog across the pond.


Tiger – Six years and counting with no major wins. I’m likely to write that after every major until (if) he wins another one because 19 majors is his only goal in life. His injuries have thoroughly derailed this chase for now and I think they’re the biggest reason he’s on the ‘loser list’ again after another major. What happens next is what matters most. Can he get healthy? Who knows. I think all the non-Tiger-haters have reason to hope for the best for next year.

Time is ticking. His career is on the clock. 2015 is a big, big year for the Big Cat.

Jason Dufner – I have a hard time ever calling Jason Dufner a loser simply for the fact that he out kicked his coverage by a good 50 yards in the wife department.

But facts are facts. He was the defending champ and he couldn’t make it to the weekend. Yes, I know he was injured, but who’s fault is that? My guess is that if Duf took better care of himself and found his way to the gym once a week he might not have a bulging disk in his neck in the first place.

Thorbjorn Olesen – His name means Thunder Bear, which makes it pretty hard to put him on the Loser List. The translation makes me think of this every time I hear it:

So why is he on the loser list? Because he hit the most unlucky shot I’ve seen in golf, ever.

Ouch. I’ve done something similar. When I was 16 I flew a 7 iron in the cup on a par 3. It wrecked the jar and ended up about 15 feet from the hole. I of course missed the birdie putt.

Billy Horshel – You saw those pants, right? I think he called them camo frog pants. Seriously? Ralph Lauren makes those? And how does he figure they work with a purple shirt?

Good God, Billy Horschel’s camo frog pants are hideously beautiful

The sad thing is that these actually make the octopus pants from Merion look decent. Maybe Bill signed a deal with Loudmouth that we’re not aware of. Whatever the case, he should discard them quickly because he was one of few players to hack up Valhalla on Sunday. His final round 76 dropped him 36 places on the leaderboard.

Golf Fans- The PGA Championship is over and we’re all worse off for it. As writer Jason Sobel points out, we’re now 242 days away from round 1 at Augusta. That’s way too long to go without major championship golf.

But hey, at least we have those Fed Ex events to look forward……errrrr…….well, does anyone really look forward to those? They’re fun, but I’m still not all in.

Golf fans are also losers this week for having to put up with this non-stop fucking commercial all week.

You can breaks rocks……huh? Notice how quick Rors was to find his time piece and put it on before the trophy ceremony? This would have been fine if it ran once per 30 minutes each day. Instead we say it 466 times during the weekend coverage. There needs to be backlash from this.

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PGA Championship: Round 3

The Horse Race Puns Will Be Out Of Control

Saturday action at Valhalla will be tough to top in the final round on Sunday. The contenders in the PGA Championship gave us a little bit of everything in round three. So where to we go from here? Well, by my count there are likely only nine guys that can still win this. I’ll give everyone at 9 under or better a chance. Eight under? Rory is at 13, he’s going to shoot no worse than 69 on Sunday. That means a guy at 8 is going to have to shoot 65 or better to have a chance. There hasn’t been a round lower than 65 yet in the championship and I don’t expect one on Sunday.

How’d we get here? Well, birdies were flying off the shelf throughout the Saturday action, except from Rory McIlroy, at least until the back nine. Rory didn’t play poorly, he just wasn’t able to put his game into its 5th gear until he birdied 3 or his last 4 holes. It was almost as if he needed to be pushed before he could react. The contenders chased him down, tied him, and then he woke up and got to work. Rory now enters Sunday with a one shot lead over…..

Who The Fuck Is Bernd Wiesberger?

The man once labeled the “Austrian Big Easy”, Bernd is a Euro Tour player that is playing in his 6th major. This is the 2nd cut he made. He has 2 Euro Tour wins and is ranked 70th in the world. He’s no slouch, but how will he hold up under the pressure of being in the final group of a major paired with the number 1 player in the world? I think we’ll find out early. I expect CBS to stop showing Bernd by about the 7th hole.

That is Wiesberger (pronounced Vees-burger) and girlfriend Claudia Steinmann. She doesn’t excite me therefore I’m not going to be rooting for the Austrian today.

All-Time Par

If you watched the 3rd round of the PGA you saw what was an all-timer of a par from Jason Day on the 2nd hole. He pull hooked his tee shot across the creek into the tall grass. The entire area is marked as a hazard. You could see from the blimp view that he’d be able to play the ball and advance it if he could find it. With help from CBS’ David Feherty (who crossed the creek in his shoes and pants), Day and his caddie found the ball. You can see below how Day made his way across the creek.

After figuring out what to do, where the ball was, and what club he needed, he was literally tossed a club to put the ball back into play.

Day advanced it to 70 yards short and right of the green in the rough but left himself a great angle at the hole.

He pitched up to about 12 feet and made the putt for par. As the CBS boys noted, the whole ordeal did seem to settle Day into the round. He didn’t have his A game and once the final twosome turned to the back nine it was clear he was doing all he could just to keep within shouting distance of Rory. By carding a 2 under 69 he did just that, but he won’t be playing along side McIlroy on Sunday.

Who Ya Got? 

I don’t think you’ll find many people picking against Rory McIlroy, but as I write this I hear half the Golf Channel analysts picking other players. The penultimate group of Mickelson and Fowler will be popular if you’re looking for a winner that isn’t from Northern Ireland. I could see pals Rickie and Bitch Tits feeding off each other if both are playing well. That group alone is why Sunday at Valhalla has so much potential. And fuck the majors this year to date, we’re owed some drama at this point. If this thing doesn’t end up in a 6 man playoff I’m going to be disappointed.

I expect this to be about 80 percent in favor of Rory, but it is still a SFG tradition. Weigh in and tell us who’s winning the PGA Championship.



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