Hump Day Musings – Monterey Style

You Bobblehead, Never Give 9 Shots To A 2

World number 1 Jordan Spieth is back in the field this week at the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am, but you already knew that. Did you know he was playing with Jake Owen? Am I out of the loop? Who the fuck is Jake Owen? Apparently he’s a country singer who carries a two handicap. Last year he shot a 67 on his own ball playing to a 3 during the tournament. Owen and Spieth both talked to the press today in a pre-tournament interview and gave insight into their relationship. Here’s the scoop:

The legend grows, pay up indeed. That might have been the only time Owen has had to pay Spieth for a golf bet. It seems as though he’s a bit of a sandbagger negotiator. The duo played a round a Cypress Point today and Spieth gave his partner 9 shots. He was losing straight up after 6 holes and then missed a 12 footer for a win on the last hole. Ouch. Owen better frame those bills.

What’s that you ask? That’s the bobblehead AT&T made and is giving to the first 8000 patrons at the tournament this week. He had one made from his first win at the John Deere in 2013 too, but this one looks a little better (if looking better is possible as a bobblehead). I’m sure they’ll be on Ebay for about $500 a pop by tomorrow afternoon.

In other things Pebble, check out this pic as tweeted by the PGA Tour earlier today.

That’s of course the 7th green. What a bad ass image. Twitter went a little nuts over it and rightfully so. I’d hang that in the mancave. I hope Jim Nantz doesn’t see it. He’ll cry like a little bitch for the whole week.

Gary Player Indeed

Gary Player puts on hit-and-giggle events that he hosts all over the world. This week he held one in Abu Dhabi and Euro Tour player Pablo Larrazabal was there with wife Gala. Gary posed for a photo op with the happy couple and his hand was all over Mrs. Larrazabal’s tit from what I can tell.

Ok, maybe its just his thumb. That’s still a little weird, but that’s Gary too. He cheated on the golf course for his hole career. What a scum bag.

Gala is a SFG favorite, she deserves better than an 80 year old perv groping her. This isn’t the Playboy Mansion. In other SFG WAG news, Sky Sports’ Kirsty Gallacher (and rumored Martin Kaymer fuck buddy) was on the air today but her mind was somewhere else. Semen.

That’s pure gold. And she still looks good damn good for having just turned 40.

Caddie Suit Dies

Remember that class-action law suit the caddies filed against the Tour for $50 million about a year ago? Nobody did until today. And they remember it today because the news broke that case was thrown out of court by the judge that was presiding over the case.

The short of it is that the judge felt that while the caddies may be unfairly treated at events, they understood that wearing the bids was a condition of them working tournaments for the players that hire them because that is how the Tour operated long before they ever caddied on it. And that is pretty much exactly what I said about the suit a year ago when it was filed. Should they have better lounges, perks, etc.? Yes. But they don’t deserve a dime from the PGA Tour. A total of 167 caddies joined the suit. None of them that have spoken out have said they’re likely to appeal the case. Sorry boys.

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Matsuyama Bests Fowler In PHX Playoff – Still Better Than Listening To Cold Play

I Can Eat A Sandwich During The Pause At The Top Of His Swing

Hideki Matsuyama is a damn fine player on the PGA Tour. He plays with power, touch, grace, and a level of skill 99.9 percent of golfers will never master. And with all that going for him I rarely find myself rooting for him. Why? Because he takes a fucking hour to hit a god damn shot. He played very well down the stretch on Sunday at the Waste Management Phoenix Open and hit some of his best shots and putts when the pressure was the heaviest. And in that stretch he also slowed play to an excruciating snail’s pace that no player, viewer, or fan should have to watch.

I had the action recorded on my DVR and hit the 30 second fast forward button twice and Matsuyama still hadn’t hit his shot. I hit the button two more time and he finally pulled the trigger. He took well over two minutes to strike the ball. He took over 100 seconds many times. Not once was he even warned, put on the clock, or penalized. Shame on him for playing that way, fuck the whole damn Tour for doing nothing about it. Outside of how long it takes Matsuyama to play, he was brilliant on Sunday in Phoenix where he out-dueled red hot Rick Fowler in a four hole sudden death playoff to get his 2nd career PGA Tour win.

He probably shouldn’t even have been in the playoff with Rick. Rickie separated himself from the field and Matsuyama trialed him by two after Rick birdied 15 and Hideki made par. After matching pars on the coliseum that is the 16th hole Matsuyama made a stealthy birdie on the 17th hole that Fowler got fucked sideways on for his tee shot and made bogey. Two shot swing, tied again on the 72nd hole. Get your popcorn. The Matsuyama-Fowler pairing didn’t disappoint. They matched clutch birds on the final hole, parred it the first time down in the playoff, birdied again on the 2nd playoff hole, then Fowler gave the whole burrito away again on the 17th when he found the water off the tee, again.

Ball game. Hideki two putted from 6 feet for a par and the win due to Fowler’s bogey. He didn’t even look like he had his A game today. His swing looked out of sorts even as late as his tee shot on the 17th tee. But he hung in there when the world of Twitter was handing Fowler a trophy and turning the channel to the Super Bowl. And good things happen when you just keep giving yourself chances. Tough break for Rick. Great win for Matsuyama.

Retarded Routing

For the playoff, that is. The back nine at TPC Scottsdale has some of the most exciting holes played on the PGA Tour all season. So when they have a playoff they play the 18th….twice if needed before going to 10? This makes no sense to me. The crowds are there for the 16th. There’s still 30,000 people sitting at that hole waiting for the tournament to end. Those patrons can also see plenty of action on the 17th hole. So why not start the playoff on 16? Put the participants on the hottest seat possible. Turn up the crowd noise a notch further. Is it a gimmick? Yes, but this isn’t a major. The whole tournament is a gimmick, to an extent.

And look at the 18th hole. Talk about fucking a fat chick. It has been slightly renovated from the image above in recent years. The new church pew bunkers on the left put a bit more of a premium on hitting the fairway, but watching Fowler and Hideki bomb drives and hit little wedge shots in there was tiresome. They should be thinking outside the box. There’s some dope earning a paycheck in Ponte Vedra for doing nothing.

The Field

Is this one going to sting for Rickie Fowler? Of course, a bit anyway. He’s a proven winner now. He’s also a pretty damn good closer who’s lethal in the clutch. His downfall today was Matsuyama coming up big and the 17th hole. His folly the first time around was completely bad luck. You can’t concern yourself with a hazard 360 yards away when making club decisions on the 71st hole of a tournament. He hit a great shot and the dice came up snake eyes. I hope he’d hit the same shot again if given the chance. He did hit a fairway wood in the playoff, but that’s only because he had information from his prior shot available. Live and learn.

He could have laid back and made par, but then he’d probably have made par at 18 as well and found himself in the same boat. If you’re hung up on that 71st tee shot at all you’re looking up the wrong skirt. Rick has bigger fish to fry in 2016 anyway. He’s major hunting.

Harris English took his face off a milk carton and played well for the first time in a while at the Waste Management. He hadn’t had a top 5 finish in a year. Harris is too talented to be kept down. I expect him to win more. He’s very much like Dustin Johnson, minus the low IQ, drug problem, and herpes. What I mean is, he hits it pretty damn far and doesn’t score with his wedges and putter like you’d hope he can. They hurt him again today as well. He was two shots out of the playoff and could have been out of the top ten if he doesn’t get this lucky break on the 15th.

Bitch Tits was in PHX like always. He played well enough to finish T11 and gave his fans a little hope of a victory when he shot 65 on Saturday. But the week for FIGJAM was largely one step forward, one step back, and his even par final round is the best example I can give you of that. We talked about Bubba and how the the Phoenicians greeted him in my last post. He was still largely booed and bullied at the TPC course this weekend. It got so bad the Thunderbirds who run the event came to his 1st tee shot in mass on Sunday to show their support for Gerry. That sounds like a huge pussy getting their big brother to stop a bully from taking their milk money, doesn’t it?

Watson likely won a few fans back when he eagled the 17th hole on Sunday. Then he turned to the front side (his back) and went unnoticed for the rest of the day. He finished T14 and even stuck around to cheer on close friend Fowler in the playoff. He was changed in to his street clothes and looked like a skate or die reject, but showing up is still a nice gesture for his friend.

Danny Lee watched the playoff with Bubba as he’s buddies with both Matsuyama and Fowler. He also played with them in the final group because he was the 54 hole leader. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a guy play in the final group and then watch a playoff he’s not in while walking about the grounds. Lee’s a different cat though. Sunday wasn’t his day, but he still gets a 4th place check and about 25 more chances to win this season. He’ll be fine. And he will win in 2016.

Shot Of The Week

The Shot of the Week should be this shot of Paige Spiranac with Golf Digest’s Ashley Mayo. She should win simply for wearing that. And poor Ashley had to watch Paige get drooled over all day while going unnoticed by the frat boys of Phoenix. That can’t be an ego boost.

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I don’t think she could put a tee in the ground without showing all her bits in that get up. God bless her.

But seriously, there still must be a Shot of the Week/Day. Sunday had plenty of good ones at the WMPO but none quite up to our normal standards. I considered Jack Macguire’s Friday ace, but it wasn’t anything eye popping and the dude was in dead fucking last place when he made it. Therefore Smylie Kaufman gets the nod for his swamp shot from the same day.

One more random thought before I sign off. I heard and read some rumblings on the Twitter about Feherty not fitting in on NBC. I didn’t see it that way. I thought he was fine for week 1. Well above average and clearly above his peers. He’ll be meshed in perfectly at the Peacock by the end of the Florida swing.

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Thursday Potluck – Phoenix Style

What You Get Instead Of Hump Day Musings When There’s A Monday Finish

Ahhhh Phoenix. Drunks. Golf. Fake boobs. Sunshine. And all of it is combined at the 16th hole of TPC Scottsdale this week.

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Who doesn’t love the Waste Management Phoenix Open? Apparently Bubba Watson doesn’t. He’s made over a million dollars in Scottsdale in the last few years, and that is without a win. He lived in the Phoenix area at one point in his life and I believe he still has a house around town. He’s shot par or better in 34 of 34 career rounds in the event. Here’s what he had to say about the course in his Wednesday presser.

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He clarified that he loves the event, just not the course. His sponsors must have some tight contracts. He paraded around the PGA Merchandise Show last week in Orlando like a jackass solely for the benefit of his sponsors as well. Here’s the deal, Bub, you don’t have to like it, you just don’t have to tell everyone. That’s now how this shit works. I try to appreciate it when guys say how the feel, what’s on their mind, etc. With Bubba this ‘honesty’ comes off like a whiny bitch. That’s who he is.

Needless to say Bubba’s feelings about the golf course went viral pretty quickly. And because Bubba is so disliked by the media conglomerate that has become @NoLayingUp, a campaign to boo the lefty loser took off pretty quick. Here’s the result:

Ouch. Remember the fun loving guy that once drove his Dukes of Hazard General Lee car to this Phoenix Open everyday just a few years ago? He’s dead to the world and has been replaced with a guy that has two green jackets but not a clue about anything else.

I’m All For Turning Eldrick Into A Robot

If Tiger Woods is on the shelf and can’t play the WMPO this week, what is the next best thing? A robot named Eldrick who can do what Woods once did, that’s what. No, the metal box can’t actually fuck porn stars play golf like TW, but he did make an ace in the Wednesday practice round.

Neat story, but that’s all it is. Why does McCord have ownership of this thing? Has his playing career gone so AWOL that he has to play through a droid? Speaking of Gary, he’s not working this week because NBC/Golf Channel has the coverage. That means his buddy David Feherty is back on TV and working the grounds at TPC Scottsdale. David was on the air today with Roger Maltbie, Mark Rolfing, and other NBC jabronies and didn’t miss a beat. He has good chemistry with Raaaj and Peter Jacobson. I assume Johnny Miller is working the weekend and I’ll be watching to hear how David and Johnny mesh.

Last Night In Dubai 

Rory McIlroy, Henrik Stenson, and Louis Oosthuizen teed it up in the same group in Dubai last night and entertained me until I fell asleep. Oosthuizen was +1, but Stenson and Rory combined for -7 and are in the hunt heading into the weekend. Rory’s 68 was effortless. He’s going to post -20 under over there and probably win by 2, but for now he trails Alex Noren by 2 shots. The field is dead solid outside of those three. GMac made the trip. Els is there. Quiros is lurking. And Joost Luiten, a Euro veteran, is also in the field. Why do you care, well, Joost is in the -3 boat with Stenson, but he also broke a tooth while playing the 13th hole on Thursday and had to find a dentist.

Ouch. Now, what about the dentist? I don’t know how you say her name so we’ll just call her Eve. Eve’s a Dutch dentist working in Dubai. How many beers….well, how much laughing gas would you need to take that on? Can you get a boner on laughing gas? She’s not my type but I’m sure there’s some fappers out there reading this ready to give her a jump.

Oh, I almost forgot. Lee Westwood is in the Dubai field as well. He’s +3 after one round and in 111th place out of 130 players. He’s an absolute chopper these days and is on his way to Ryder Cup exile. This pleases me. Lee’s a dick and he’s been a thorn in the side of Team U.S.A.

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Bloody Monday At Torrey Pines – Final Thoughts On Farmers

Beating The Field By Ten Should Get You A Trophy

Thursday and Friday at the Farmers Insurance Open were as normal as can be for January days in San Diego. Saturday was a little cooler with a bit of a breeze, but still playable. Then shit almost literally hit the fan on Sunday when the players teed it up on Torrey Pines South Course layout. Twenty to fifty mile an hour winds, sideways rain, and cold temperatures made scoring nearly impossible. Some guys hit 5 iron on the par three 3rd hole that played only 134 yards into the wind!

So what did Brandt Snedeker do after starting his round trailing by 6 shots? He posted a final round 69 when no one else in the field bettered 71. The field average was 78. He jumped way up the leaderboard and was in the clubhouse at -6 while the leaders were making the turn. The weather soured further, play was suspended, and that left the closing groups with 8 holes to come back and play on Monday.

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After hours of clean up to make the course playable the Farmers resumed at 10 am local time in more cold and wind, but back in sunshine. The final threesome piled up bogies and when KJ Choi’s final attempt at a birdie on 18 missed, Snedeker was the Farmers champion for the 2nd time in four years. Sneds’ round was incredible considering the conditions. Statistically it was one of the best on record for the last 33 years of Tour golf when compared to the field. Brandt bogied the 1st hole he played in the round, parred the remaining holes on the front, then shot 32 in the nastiest weather of the week on his closing nine. Wow. I picked BS to win for the week and had given up on him after Saturday’s play. When he won in 2012 at Torrey he trailed Kyle Stanley by 7 shots entering the final round. Lesson learned. Never count Brandt out at the Farmers.

That was his tweet after he completed play on Sunday. When play resumed on Monday Sneds was on site going through his normal routine of putting, warming up, etc. He expected a playoff. He felt like his failure to get up and down for birdie on his 72nd hole cost him the tourney. Instead he did all he needed to do on Sunday and never had to hit a shot on Monday. Brandt just had to wait 22 hours from his last stroke to get his trophy. He seems to be back on form in 2016 with three starts and finishes of 3rd, 2nd, and 1st. Sneds and last week’s winner, Jason Dufner, also won the Shark Shootout as teammates in December.

The Field

KJ Choi played well enough to win this week, but mother nature wasn’t having it, and the golf gods smiled on Snedeker instead. Its amazing to me that a plinker like Choi can even hang with the field on a course like Torrey. For the first 3 rounds it measured over 7500 yards. Choi was paired with Gary Woodland and Dustin Johnson on Saturday and was routinely 70 yards behind both bombers. Choi hasn’t won in 5 years. I’m sure he’s bummed and won’t sleep well Monday night, but his performance is a step in the right direction and he should be thrilled with it.

scott brown rain

If you didn’t watch the Farmers finish on Monday, could you name this man? Of course that is the 54 hole leader from this week’s event, Scott Brown. Scott played in the final group with Choi and Jimmy Walker and began the final round -9. Shooting 75 was no easy task in the conditions I’ve described. Shooting 87 with one penalty shot is a god damn joke. I feel for Scott, but I also feel like he quit. He didn’t make a par or better on the back nine! How can a guy without any assurance of having a card in 2017 ever quit on a round like I think Scott did?

Jimmy Walker didn’t quit, he just didn’t make putts he needed to make. The weather made his final round a little sloppy. The coverage on Walker’s final 12 holes of the event over two days was interesting to watch. Walker produced a drive on Sunday on the 9th hole that had a ball speed of 170 mph. That would typically equate to a drive of about 285+ yards in the air. The drive CBS showed went 216 yards into the stiff, wet wind. Ouch. Walker is playing well. A top 5 result at Torrey won’t derail him. He’ll be dangerous at Pebble in two weeks.

Patrick Reed was in the field at the Farmers and strangely withdrew Saturday night. Reed didn’t give a reason for the WD that I’ve seen. Other players were pissed at him and thought he was just being a little bitch about the weather. He was going to be in the last group off the 10th tee. I’ll give Patty the benefit of the doubt. Graham DeLaet isn’t.

Shots fired! Graham did back off his statement concerning other players withdrawing once action got pushed to Monday. He cited that they have another tournament to get ready for. I’m not sure I understand that mindset either when a WD means forfeiting Fed Ex points, Ryder Cup points, and cold hard cash.

Bitch Tits was in San Diego. He rarely misses a chance to play Torrey Pines. His stay only lasted for two days as he missed the cut on Friday afternoon. I thought he was going to contend on the weekend after a good start Thursday on the South Course. But things went to shit in a hurry on the North Course. He’d flag a hybrid and have a chance at eagle, then be in trouble the next hole and using the hybrid in ways it wasn’t intended.

Oh FIGJAM. What a stupid fucking shot. First, he could have hurt himself. Second, it could have gone anywhere. Why not just take the penalty? He made double anyway then told Golf Channel how well he played after missing the cut. Weird.

Carnage On And Off The Course

We’ve talked about the weather. It was ugly but the images do it more justice than I ever could writing about it.

torrey tree

That tree was an integral part of the 15th hole and its approach shot. Now its gone along with several other trees between the 18th and 7th fairways. Hats off to the crew having to clean it all up. They were absolutely amazing in their efforts.

CBS was on the scene to call the weekend coverage. Jim Nantz wasn’t. He couldn’t be bothered with the first network coverage of a full field event in 2016. He had to rest his precious pipes for his four hours of work calling the Super Bowl, in the same state, next week. Gary McCord was at Torrey Pines and got in some hot water with some over-reacting Tweeters when he said the following:

What did you hear? I didn’t hear ‘raped’. No one could be that stupid.

CBS took time to review the statement and decided that McCord didn’t say what he was accused of by a bunch of whistle blowers. Twitter didn’t care. They were right. McCord was wrong. I even read one tweet that went as far as to analyze Webster’s definitions of “rake” and “rape”. Who has that kind of time on their hands on Monday morning?

Shot Of The Week

Freddie Jacobsen’s eagle at the 15th on Saturday? No. Colt Knost’s crazy putt at the 3rd on Sunday? No. Jason Gore’s Saturday albatross on the 18th hole (his 9th of the day)? You bet your ass. And Gore hit the shot with a fairway metal that is over a decade old.

Like I said on Twitter, Gore blocked me last week (for calling him Chubby), six days later he does that. That’s no coincidence. Good for him. I’ll still root for him, blocked or not.

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Site News: Up And Comer Of The Month

We All Must Evolve

The WAG of the Month feature on this site has become boring and stale. Quite frankly, the boys on Tour aren’t churning out enough lovely ladies at their side to make my monthly selections worthy. So its dead, gone, finished. Instead, as you can see, SFG will turn its focus to the Up and Comers of the ladies game. Paige Spiranic, the 2015 WAG of the Year, inspired this. Any girl playing (even vaguely) in college, the Futures Tour, or the LPGA is eligible. I can’t accept a high schooler as a nominee. I don’t need to be arrested. We’ll still have a WAG of the Year. We’ll still show WAGs all the time. But now we’ll enter a new realm and introduce the general public to a new breed of golfers. Some you may already now but we’ll do our best to keep it fresh. I’m also going to need your help find applicants so send your nominees in early and often.

With that, lets get right to our first Up And Comer of the Month for 2016 (UACM). For February the award goes to Elise Lobb. Like Paige, Elise burst on the scene as a pretty girl with a good swing showing her skills on Youtube and Instagram.

Playing behind a foursome got me like….. #timetobreakoutthesnacks #golf 💗✨⛳️

A photo posted by Elise Lobb (@eliselobb) on

The Florida girl is apparently a University of Northern Florida student but has no affiliation with the golf team from what I can tell. She’s probably not good enough to think about playing professionally, but does have aspirations to be on the Golf Channel. I could see that, especially if they every do a fitness show. Elise does plenty of that on her Youtube channel.

There you have it. We’ve never been shy on T &A here and that won’t stop now. Enjoy Elise while you have her because February is a short month.

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Grace Wins Qatar Masters Again, Event Is Utterly Fucked

I Love My Readers

Brenden Grace won the Qatar Master this week by two shots over Rafa Cabrera-Ballo. Honestly, I didn’t see one god damn second of the event besides tweets of Sergio Garcia dancing like an idiot.

For Grace this is back to back wins at the Qatar event. He’s a known quantity. He can win any week he tees it up on any tour. He showed that last year at the U.S. Open.

Then there’s the Sky Sports airing of a few choice words in round one. This one comes from Ray in Australia. The other night while watching Sky’s broadcast of the Qatar Master Ray caught the following clip and sent it to me.

Of course overseas there’s a lot less care about foul language airing. Shit, most countries allow full blown nudity, don’t they? I love the fact that the commentator called it as he saw it. That’s what this site tries to do. Too bad we can’t hear Nick Faldo and David Feherty talk like this on our broadcasts. Thanks again for sending this Ray.

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Norman Out/Zinger In And More Hump Day Musings

Pull Your Norman Out And Put Your Zinger In

That sounds like a bad euphemism that your grandpa would use at a 1950s orgy. It is also exactly what Fox Sports plans to do with their coverage of USGA events for the foreseeable future. Earlier this week Fox let Norman go, we already talked about that. Norman wasn’t great in his debut but why would you expect him to be? Describing golf on TV to millions of viewers isn’t a natural thing to do. If they were going to take a shot on a guy with so little experience they needed to give him time to develop. I guess with millions of dollars on the line you don’t get that kind of leash. With Norman out Fox announced that they’ve hired Paul Azinger to take his chair. The ABC/ESPN analyst and 2008 Ryder Cup captain was the easy pick for the job, and he’ll be fine doing it, but that doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.

I don’t mind Zinger’s style, he can be curt and blunt, but he knows his role and does it well. My issue is that he’s too much like Johnny Miller (minus any Oakmont 63 in 73 talk). I think Fox should be trying to break the mold and get new blood on their team. This is why most golf fans don’t want to hear Joe Buck’s voice too. Well, other than the fact that Buck is fucking terrible at calling golf. I guess I thought Fox had more balls than this. I didn’t think they’d make the ‘corporate’ choice they made in Azinger. Oh well.

Chubby Rabbits

I’m going to start this next little blurb with a caveat. I DO like Pat Perez and Jason Gore. I think they are good people. I think they’re phenomenally talented tour players. I think they have the greatest jobs in the world and I’m extremely jealous of them. I also know they do great charity work and help soldiers, kids, etc. with donations of their time. Now I’m going to tell you why they’ve both blocked me on the Twitter. Last year about this time Mr. Perez got married and I wrote a little blurb about it because he wife is hot. That’s the only thing I can think of that I’ve ever written about him. Ok, so I called his hair a mullet a few times. Isn’t that true? Honestly, he doesn’t contend enough to grab my attention otherwise. Then while watching golf this weekend I tweeted the following:

That isn’t even mean. It’s just a fact. I’ve tweeted much worse things directly to other pros via Twitter and they’ve liked the tweet. The only pros I truly have an issue with are Vijay, Sergio, and Poulter. Anyone else I’ve said something about was for entertainment only. Twitter snark. It happens. If someone tweeted that I’m a hairy ape I wouldn’t give a shit. I’d know its true. I certainly wouldn’t block the Tweeter like Gore did to me. Like I said, I like both guys. What I don’t understand (besides why both guys don’t try salads) is why either would waste their time searching for venom, albeit very tame venom, on the internet. Don’t they have range balls to hit? To me this is a perfect example of a pro with rabbit ears. Maybe that is why neither have won more. They’re too busy worrying about what people think of them and what people say of them when they should just say ‘fuck it’ and go kick ass on the course. The psyche of the professional golfer is a fragile one.

Bitch Tits Lost To A High School Kid

Various outlets have reported that back in December Phil Mickelson and his brother (head golf coach at Arizona State) played a practice round at Torrey Pines with Australian teen phenom, Ryan Ruffels. Some reports blew this off as a recruiting visit because of Phil’s brother being present, but Ruffels turned pro and his camp has stated he intended to do just that a month ago when said round was played. So what’s all the fuss? According to those in the know, Ruffels birdied 6 of the last 7 holes to win a hefty bet with FIGJAM. He was given 2 to 1 odds on a $2,500 bet. There aren’t a lot of high school kids that would be comfortable with a $100 bet, let alone playing with Phil for a mortgage payment. This kid must be the goods, and his dad must carry a large amount of cash around.

Back at Torrey Pines this week Phil was asked about the bet with Ruffels. He was more than a little grumpy about it a said in so many words that the kid exaggerated and needs to learn to keep his fucking mouth shut about wagers. That probably had to be said to keep the NCAA away from his brother as well as to teach the kid a lesson and keep the IRS away from Phil’s practice rounds (that’s somewhat tongue in cheek). Ruffels is in the field at the Farmer’s this week too. I can’t wait to see what he can do. Phil better hope he doesn’t get punked by the kid again at his house.

From The Annals Of The @NoLayingUp Crew

That says annals, not anals, you filthy fuckers. This morning I woke to find this cute little story in my Twitter feed from Golf Digest.

First of all, it is true, Thomas Pieters’ head shot used by the PGA Tour was photo shopped to look a little different than the image he supplied. That’s hilarious. Why the Tour does these retarded sneaky covert things is beyond me. They’ve since apologized to Pieters and fixed the image while laying blame on a 3rd party that touched it up with a “heavy hand”. Of course every golf publication in the digital world ran the story for page views and the shit went viral. And not a single one of them gave credit to the original ‘truther’ of the Pieters Hairgate crisis. Who’s that? It depends on the language you speak. A Netherlands golf site/Twitter handle first put it out there. The @nolayingup crew follows them and is friendly with them and translated the tweet to English. NLU says Golf Channel got it from them and ran with it, and so forth. I’ve seen the anecdote on 5 different sites throughout the day and as NLU pointed out in their Farmer’s Preview, no body gave credit to a source.

That’s tacky and hackish. I read a lot of other sites. I try to give credit to anyone but myself and give my thoughts on what I read/see. If the story is fairly public then that’s a different issue in itself. What credit can you give? The Golf Channel should know better and source shit better. Once they put it out its harder to pass blame on their peers, but it is still not excusable. I’m not a journo. I don’t do this for a living. If I make that mistake, well….fuck, it happens. My readers know this is entertainment only. Those places have a duty that they’re failing as ‘news’ outlets.

We’re Running Out Of WAGs

January is almost over and there’s not a single WAG worthy of being deemed the WAG of the Month come next Monday when the calendar turns to February. What the fuck am I going to do? Maybe someone with a worthy wife will take the Farmers and save us all. Or maybe its time to retire the idea of having a pin up girl in the top right corner of the site. If you’ve got a nominee that I’m over looking speak up and leave a comment. If you feel strongly about replacing the WAG of the Month say something about that too. My content is open for discussion.

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Torrey Pines South Course Review Redux

Go To San Diego, Play The Course, That Is All

Is that really the worst way to spend a few days in the winter? If you’re not paying attention, it is Farmers Insurance Open week in San Diego. The Torrey Pines courses are in play Thursday and Friday with all the action moving to the big boy South course for the weekend. My course review from 2014 is worth the read if you have the time and have an interest in Torrey Pines.

That’s really all I have to say. More musings later. Enjoy.

Torrey Pines South Course Review

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Duf-Daddy Is Back – Final Thoughts On CareerBuilder Challenge

Just Typing ‘CareerBuilder’ Up There Makes Me Hurt Inside

Can’t the Tour vet their title sponsor and make tournament names a little more reasonable? I’m dead fucking serious. Call it the Bob Hope presented by whatever douche sponsor you want. Then the rest of us can still call it the Hope and millennials will still know what we’re talking about. End of rant. Outside of the tourney name the Hope was a great event for all to watch while checking in during football timeouts. Bitch Tits was swinging and scoring well, Kevin Na sort of contended and play still finished before dark, and Jason Dufner putted lights out on his way to a dramatic victory. What else could you ask for?

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You still have Amanda’s number?

After making every putt he looked at for 3 days, Duf’s putter woes were back as he finished his Sunday front nine without a birdie. That didn’t last long as he birdied 10, 11, and 12 to start the back. After a birdie on 16 he was again tied for the lead with short knocker and Baby Gap shopper – David Lingmerth. The diminutive Swede posted 25 under, thanks to weekend rounds of 62 and 65, just a few minutes before Dufner hit his tee shot at the par three 17th.

The Hope tourney has typically been played at 3 courses, with the original PGA West course being the home of the final round. This year the PGA West Stadium course replaced it in the rotation for a reason I’ve yet to unearth. The Stadium course, like its TPC Sawgrass cousin also designed by Pete Dye, has an island green on it’s 17th hole. This one is surrounded by rocks and nicknamed Alcatraz.

That’s the shot Dufner faced while tied for the lead on the 71st tee. Several players rinsed their balls in the hazard thanks to wayward shots. Dufner set up for a cut and hit a hook and the result could have been a disaster. His Titleist caught the corner of the green and rolled through it into the rocks. He nearly holed his miracle recovery shot as it slammed the pin dead center and stayed out of the jar. Easy par. After burning the edge of the cup for birdie and the win on 18 Duf and his tiny challenger headed back to the tee. Duf found a fairway bunker. He laid up while Lingmerth hit the green and had a birdie try. After Lingmerth missed Duf had this 10 footer to keep his hopes alive.

Big stones on that guy. But honestly, that was probably easier to make knowing he had to. He killed it through a lot of the break. Great putt. And that gentle toss of the ball into the H2O…..that’s why we love Duf-daddy. On the next playoff hole both players missed the fairway and Lingmerth tugged his approach into the hazard. Ball game. Duf wins. And for the first time in 47 tries he’s back in the winner circle again.

You’re damn right I went there. It had to be a long 2.5 years for him. His ball striking was great, but it usually is, if he putts like this for 2016 he’ll win again. The U.S. Ryder Cup team could use some of that. He’s a fucking gamer.

The divorce, his ex, I’m not going there today. There’s still not much information about it. He and his game will probably be better off without her. Today was step one in showing that.

The Field

You can’t play much better than Lingmerth did for the weekend. He was trying to validate his win at last year’s Memorial. There’s been a lot of fluky wins in Tour history. A first time/one time winner could be just that. A two time winner throws the ‘fluke” thought out the window. You’ve proven yourself twice. You know you belong. Of course Lingmerth belongs. He’s been in enough close calls and has a win. He’s a great player and he’ll be representing his country in the Olympics because of it. I’m still shocked hit hit it in the drink in the playoff. He’ll be back. Take note fantasy nerds, this is his 2nd playoff loss at the Hope. He’s a value pick in Palm Springs for the next 3 years.

Phil Mickelson made his first start of 2016 at the Hope and he didn’t disappoint his fans. His T3 showing due to 68-65-66-68 splits equals the best start he’s had to a season in years. Bitch Tits credited his play to all his work on getting back on plane so he can feel the club face…blah blah blah……huh? You’re one of the 10 best players ever. You’re a wizard with the club. What this sounds like to me is a shot at Butch Harmon who he no longer works with. What it really means is he wasn’t putting in the work with Butch over the last 15 months or so. He probably started tuning Harmon out and need to hear a different voice. Makes you wonder how Bones has stuck…..oh wait, he never hears what Bones is saying. And Phil didn’t got low for four days because of his swing. He did it largely because he holed out from off the green five fucking times in four days. Or was it more, I lost track.

Like I said, he’s a wizard. Patrick Reed won the Hope a few years ago. Big Pat had been in the top 10 for his last however many starts world wide dating back to last fall. That means he was everybody’s pick to win this week. He tied for 56th place. What the fuck? Of note was Kevin Na finishing 3rd with Bitch Tits and Andrew Loupe. Why is that noteworthy? Because dude shot a back nine 28 on Saturday afternoon for his round of 62 to jump up the leaderboard.

Shot Of The Day

Different tournament (from Abu Dhabi), different SOTD. This one also comes from the champ. You know it, you saw it, Duf on the rocks please.

He got a bit of a bad break when he hit the green and the ball ran through to the rocks. But he got a good break that it stayed up and wasn’t up against the stones. As he told Golf Channel, he played it like a tight lie on firm ground like you’d see at the British Open. To nearly jug it though….shit. If that goes in the tournament is over right there and the shot goes on to be a nominee for Shot of the Year.

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Rick Yutaka Fowler Reigns In Abu Dhabi

Rick Should Play The Euro Tour

High tops, joggers, and bright orange shirts….who gives a fuck what you look like when you play like Rickie Fowler does. World numbers 1 and 3 got a lot more of the press this week in Abu Dhabi, but Rick stole the show by taking home the trophy. He also moved up to #4 in the official ranking for his efforts. He started round 4 as the leader with plenty of contenders close in the rear view mirror. Then he birdied his first two holes and the tourney was his to lose. On the 7th he found trouble with a shit tee shot that nearly jumped in the hazard on the par 3. His trouble shot came out funky off some mesh material in the waste area and resulted in a nasty double bogey. Game on. The field was back in play and Rick needed to do something to regain control. Just eagle the 8th, that will forgive all your sins. Done. After an average tee shot and weak 2nd, Rick holed out from about 50 yards in a bunker to make eagle. That was him grabbing the HSBC by the throat.

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After 8 consecutive pars Rick had again let the field think they had a chance to catch him. He missed the green at 17 and then gutted the competition again with a pitch in. Two holed shots from off the green, yeah, those can help spark anyone on to victory. The chip in gave Rick a margin to work with and meant a par at the closing par 5 would equal a win so long as Thomas Pieters didn’t make eagle. Done. After playing the 18th smartly there wasn’t much left for Fowler to do except buy the media covering the event champagne. This is his M.O. He bought them booze at the Players and coolers filled with beer in Boston after his Deutche Bank win.

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Rick is set for a good year. The Abu Dhabi win is merely foreshadowing. I do find it interesting that 40% of his wins are now away from the U.S. That’s something to keep in mind when the Open Championship tees off at Troon in July. I’m not even going to talk about the pants and shoes again. That’s Rick. He’s going to wear weird shit for the next 35 years he plays on TV. He needs to find a girl as hot as his last one so we can all enjoy his victories and trophy ceremonies a little more.

The Field 

For 63 holes Rory looked like a fast car stuck in neutral. One of the commentators calling the Euro action said if he could shoot a back side 31 he’d put a scare into the other contenders. So guess was Rors did? Birdie 10, bogey 11, and then made 3 more birds and an eagle coming in to post 14 under. That wasn’t good enough to beat Fowler, but it was a pretty sporty way to back door a top 3 finish. Here’s the eagle putt.

Jordan Spieth didn’t post a score lower than 68 this week and never really felt (to me) like he was in sync with his normal game. In spite of that, he finished in a log jam for T-5. He’s just that good. In watching him I did wonder who picks out his Under Armour garb? It is boring as hell. Plain on top of plain. Grays, whites, solid colors, almost no patterns. I understand UA is going for a clean look. Nike is too, but they at least change it up and give their guys some different options. Who’s buying the UA gear as they see it on Jordan? Accountants under 35 would be my guess.

Next for World Number 1 is a trip to Singapore. What? I get chasing some dough and playing in a great event in Abu Dhabi. I don’t get playing in an event as meaningless as Singapore. He has enough cash. Under Armour doesn’t need him there to sell shirts in Asia.

Remember when you woke up on Friday morning and heard the world’s best ‘amateur’ Bryson DeChambeau was leading the field in Abu Dhabi after his first round 64. That seems like a life time ago. DeChambeau’s low 1st round shows you the fire power he has. His 72-78-72 close shows you how far he has to go to hang with elite fields like the one he faced in the Middle East this week. I’m sure he learned a lot. I loved watching him play with Rory in the 3rd round. He tied for 54th. There’s no shame in that for a guy with the ‘A’ still next to his name on the pairings sheet.

Everyone’s favorite walking dick with ears, Ian Poulter, was in contention to start the final round at the HSBC Championship. And to no one’s surprise he choked on his tiny dick over the last 11 holes after being 3 under after 7. Ghost of Hogan summed Ian up quite well on the Twitter.

Then Ian went to Twitter and started talking Ryder Cup shit. What? You just choked again. The top two ranked Americans in the world punked you and one didn’t even play well, and you’re talking Ryder Cup smack. Ian is a loser. There’s no other way around it. Sure, he’s a loser with a big bank account and a lot of Ferrari’s, but he’s got a small dick, small game, and a fat wife. Enjoy the cars, bitch.

Shot Of The Day

Rory’s eagle could have been the winner. Great two shots and a bombed putt that found the bottom when it had to. But Fowler’s chip in was the dagger that gave him the trophy in the end. Winner winner.

Nice shoot’in, Rick.

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