Rory’s Kicks, Young Guns In Texas, And Irish Open Golf Porn: Another Edition Of Hump Day Musings

Holiday Or No Holiday, The Musings Must Go On

Forget the fact that Rory McIlroy missed the cut last week in the Euro Tour’s BMW Championship at Wentworth. He has. Rors has moved on because he’s playing in the Irish Open and that’s a pretty big deal to him. Its a big deal because it is his home country’s championship, its being held at Royal County Down, and he’s wearing four pairs of shoes designed by kids. Why is that a big deal? You see, Rory and Nike allowed kids who’s lives have been impacted by cancer to design shoes for Rory to wear. McIlroy selected 4 winners, and now he’ll actually put each version of the Nike Lunar 3 model on while playing this week.

Awesome. And the winning designs he picked are very unique. Nike is making them available for retail soon and a portion of the proceeds will go to Rory’s foundation. A portion? Why not all sales Phil Knight? I guess the $woosh has to get theirs too. And Phil, if you’re reading, I’ll take a pair of the green ones and donate $50 to a charity of your choosing for your kindness.

Irish Eyes Are Smiling

You read that correctly above. The Irish Open is being played at Royal County Down. If you’re not aware of what that means, think of the U.S. Open being played at Chicago Golf Club, Pine Valley, or the National Golf Links, or Cypress Point……that should help. The tournament has not been played at RCD since 1939. Ireland is excited, but even more so are the players that have flocked to the course to play in this year’s Irish Open. The pictures of the course are like golf porn and don’t do it justice (I assume).


Golf boner.

I think its safe to say I’ll be watching more Euro Tour this week to peep on Royal County Down. This place looks amazing.

If You Need Viewers This Week, This Might Work

The course that hosts the Byron Nelson tournament sucks. It sucks so bad I’m not even going to type its name. And with not a lot of stars in the field this week I assume the tournament director along with the PGA Tour might be looking for a way to draw interest to the event. Hmmm…….how could you do that? Well, how about you put a gang buster pairing together and see how that plays out. Poof! Done.

That’ll do. Now if they’re not in contention on the weekend I’m out, but I’m in for Thursday and Friday. Hopefully the tournament gets played. Dallas has more rain in the forecast after already reaching flood levels in May.

I Thought The Only Kim That Could Be Bought Was Kardashian

Musician Toby Keith is an Oklahoma Sooner fan. Anthony Kim played golf at OU. Keith held a charity auction at his golf outing last month at the University. It has since been disclosed that one of the items up for bid was a round with the Buckled One, Anthony Kim himself.

Hopefully a media outlet that wants an interview with AK was the highest bidder. The item went for $24,500. This all makes one wonder, if Kim can play for charity, why can’t he play the Tour? His near $20,000,000 insurance policy is the easy answer to that question, but we might never get that directly from him.

Bubba Got Tanked

No, not that kind of tanked. He does not drink alcohol (my god that is weird). Instead Gerry spent part of his holiday weekend at the minor league ball park he has ownership in. Watson hung out in a dunk tank and let patrons throw balls in an effort to get him wet for charity. All proceeds went to the local YMCA.

Bubba Watson gets

There’s no truth to the rumor that 23% of PGA Tour members attended the minor league game that day.

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Kirk Is King At Crowne Plaza: Final Thoughts On Colonial

DJ Khaled Said It Best

That’s right, I’m giving you a little hip hop flavor today and its all because of Chris Kirk. Why? Well, here’s the song for those that don’t know it:

Kirk should put that on his bag. All he does is win. Taking the title at Colonial today means Kirk has won 4 times now on tour. His 3 wins in the last two years is more than anyone save Jimmy Walker and Rory McIlroy (both have 5 wins). That puts him in some pretty neat company when you look at it as Golf Channel’s Will Gray does here:

Kirk took care of business on the weekend by shooting 65-66 and posting -12 while the groups behind him on Sunday stepped on their dicks. Winning is winning, but this isn’t the first time Kirk has taken advantage of mentally weak players fucking up behind him in the final round. Whatever the case, the former Georgia Bulldog is living right and taking advantage of the opportunities he’s given.

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Kirk told the media after his round that this win was meaningful to him because he is a former Ben Hogan award winner. Colonial is known as Hogan’s Alley and Hogan Award winners receive the award at the club. Kirk came here in 2007 as the Hogan winner and fell in love with the atmosphere and the event. Winning at Colonial as a professional was something he always dreamed about. Stuff like that makes Chris an easy guy to root for. His wife is another reason (more on her later).

What I like about Kirk is how he plays. His heart may be racing 200 beats per minute inside that wiry frame, but his syrupy back swing and smooth tempo make you believe that he barely has a pulse. That’ll serve him well when he’s thrown in to Ryder Cup matches over the next few years. Yeah, you read that right. Kirk is a sure fire Ryder Cup member for Team USA. He’s too good to overlook anymore.

His Better Half

Kirk’s wife is hard to miss when on the screen, isn’t she? I’m a big fan, and I’ve discussed Mrs. Kirk plenty following each of his wins. There isn’t much more I can say about her.

She’s gotta be in my top 5 favorite tour wives. Why? First, she looks like a real person. Second, she looks like that after two kids. Third, she married Kirk and he knows she’s way better looking than he is and he acknowledges it publicly. She’s like the anti Amanda Dufner.

The Field

The field staff that is……yeah the guys that made Colonial playable at all this weekend. Perhaps you’ve not seen anything in the news about Texas but it has rained like a mother fucker there for a few weeks. The image below gives you an idea of what the staff had to do to make the course playable.

Yes, the players got to clean and place everywhere except hazards, but the tourney was finished on time and all 72 holes were played. That’s almost a miracle. People in some areas of Texas are building arks and 70 some players played golf for 4 straight days in the middle of that shit? Well done. It was weird to see players moving their balls in rough and bunkers, but sometimes you have to be sensible. The tour made the right call.

Were you surprised to turn on Colonial and see Jordan Spieth in contention? Of course not. One of the best bets in sports in 2015 is Jordan Spieth making the cut and contending until the final hole of the tournament. He did exactly that this week playing near his Texas home. For Jordan, its a ‘what-could-have-been’ weekend. He did a bit of everything and much of it was sloppy golf that wasn’t pretty to watch. But as always, when he needed to be gutty and find something, he did just that. After a costly 3 putt, Jordan found himself needing birdie at the 72nd hole to match the clubhouse lead of -11.

No shit he made it. He was a cunt hair away from Kirk’s final putt missing and being in a playoff. Another 2nd place showing doesn’t hurt the check book or his Fed Ex Cup standing.

Brandt Snedeker’s game came back to life this week in Ft. Worth. Sneds had a putt to tie Kirk at the last hole but missed it low. He’s been AWOL since his win at Pebble but made a few fixes with his instructor and appears to be back on the right path. Ian Poulter played in the final group with Kevin Na. We knew how that would go before it even happened. Perhaps two of the biggest head cases on tour sleeping on the lead and playing in the last group…….that is a train wreck we all want to happen. Na was shit and rinsed a few balls on his way to a +2 72. See ya!

Poulter shot even but was awful down the stretch when he needed a few birdies to try to catch Kirk. Yeah, he choked, and yeah….he went to Twitter to defend his bullshit.

The only thing more definite than IJP not winning on Sunday was the fact that he’d be tweeting something stupid about his result later in the day. I really don’t like Poults, and yes it has something to do with the ass hat blocking me on Twitter, but its easy to see the guy has talent. If he were to shut down his Twitter account and try to block out the distractions of the outside world I think his on course results would be much better than the punchline he’s becoming.

Shot Of The Week

In Europe, Rory McIlroy missed the cut at the flagship event of the Across the Pond Tour. Once that happened who gave a fuck? Of course the BMW Championship continued without him and great shots were struck. Tommy Fleetwood holed out for an albatross (don’t you dare call it a double eagle).

Nice shot, but holing a mid to short iron for a double eagle isn’t the same as running a prayer in the jug with a fairway metal. On top of Fleetwood’s gem, the Mechanic had his own nominee for the Shot of the Week from Wentworth.

Yeah, the fucking guy did it again. That’s 10 hole in ones for his Euro career, which is a record. It is his THIRD…..yeah THIRD of the YEAR and 2nd in 2 weeks!!!!!!! Holy shit. The man is living right. And he again has the SFG Shot of the Week.

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Random Shit Because…..Fuck It, Why Not?

Senior Blood Bath

I don’t normally talk about Champions Tour golf, but when I do, you should listen. Or not. The old guys are playing their 2nd major of the season in Larry Bird’s home town of French Lick, Indiana. Why? Because there’s a great golf resort there with an original Donald Ross course, oh…..and it also has a Pete Dye track that was added many years later. Pete is an Indiana boy and has several layouts with his name on them in the Hoosier state. It just so happens that the Dye course is the host of the Senior PGA Championship being contested this week.

That’s really what it looks like. That isn’t some video game image. While it looks pretty sweet, the folks I know that have played say its garbage. Too many awkward stances, unfair angles, and it can play nearly 8000 yards if you want it to. On the other hand, those in the know say the Ross course at the French Lick resort is much better/fair. Chances are the Champions Tour players playing in the PGA agree with that assessment. On Thursday, with cold and blustery conditions, only Massy Kuramoto broke par. He did so by just one shot. Coincidentally, the only reason I’m paying attention this week is because a pro I worked with/for is in the field. He’s got a legit chance at making the cut and is only 5 back after not even carding a birdie in round 1. Tough course indeed.

What Does Number One Do During Weather Delays? 

That intro is an ode to Austin Powers fans and a tease as to what ladies’ world number 1 Lydia Ko is up to. I don’t know where she’s playing or what she’s doing, but she’s apparently waiting out a weather issue and watching Austin Powers in Gold Member. Here’s the tweet:

How great would it be if Tiger tweeted something like that? I’m glad Lydia didn’t mature too much when she turned 18 last month. Never change, kid.

Ape Shit For An Ace

The Euro Tour’s BMW Championship got underway today at Wentworth. Super Mario Molinari shot 65 to lead the field. That’s interesting, but not as much as Andrew “Beef” Johnston making an ace, giving a chest bump, and winning a BMW for his efforts.

I hope he knew the guy he bumped. He could have broke the poor bastard’s ribs. Beef looks like he could play fullback for the Jets next fall.

No Relation To Patrick

Did you know there’s professional golf available for viewing on all days of the week? Neither did I until earlier this week when I heard the Ladies European Tour got smart about finding their viewership. They now complete their events during the week and stream coverage online for fans to see. Why do we care? Well, they do have some talented young pieces of ass players. Tiger’s niece plays on that tour. This week’s winner was Melissa Reid.

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Yeah, her.

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She knows Rory? Hmmm……..

Meh. She’s not my type, but she’s better than most anything you see on a golf course near you. Have at it you sick bastards, and have yourself a nice holiday weekend too.

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Cuban Busts, When Rors Will Walk, And More Hump Day Musings

Do You Know The Difference Between Jelly And Jam? 

Tiger doesn’t call his event the Tiger Jelly, but that isn’t the punch line of the joke. In case you missed it, Tiger Woods didn’t play at Quail Hollow last week because he was busy hosting his annual Tiger Jam in Las Vegas. Tiger Jam is where TW and his celeb ‘friends’ get together and do golf outings, concerts, and other things to benefit Woods’ foundation. Sounds great if you’re one of the fortunate ones that attends. The big news from Tiger Jam is that Tiger cleaned out billionaire Mark Cuban at the poker table. Considering a few of the trades Cuban has failed in with his beloved NBA franchise, this shouldn’t surprise anyone. To lament his lost Cuban grabbed some unsuspecting woman’s phone and made the following video:

Holy fuck Tiger looks old in that! I guess that’s what he looks like at about 1 am when he’s been on a drinking binge. This might be enough of a scare to make me stop drinki……ehhhh……fuck it.

As for the musical performance at the Jam, seems as though ginger heart throb Ed Sheeran was on hand to cry about chicks breaking his heart for the masses. Tiger of course ate it up with his relationship with Lindsey Vonn still visible in the review mirror.

Sheeran must have put him in the mood. He was later spotted with these broads. They’re from Poker Stars or some other site like that which furnishes working girls for ‘entertainment’ purposes. I’m sure nothing that you haven’t seen in a typical porn clip happened the rest of the night with Tiger and the poker chicks.

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(Photo credit to

No Champions Tour For Rory

In more wholesome golf news, Rory McIlroy is in England this week to attempt to defend his BMW Championship title on the Euro Tour. In a mini media blitz before the event Rory told the BBC that he can see himself retiring at 40 and he won’t play the Champions Tour. Whoa, what, huh?

McIlroy turned pro in his late teens. He claims that a 25 year career will be all he needs to accomplish what he wants to in golf. That means he’ll probably play well into his 40s, but he won’t push it when he’s not competitive at the level he expects to be. I think that is an easy thing for him to say now, but I assume his perspective will change once he’s actually 40. I know he’ll have other interests and distractions in life by then. Rory is thoughtful in that way. His world is bigger than just golf. But no 25/26 year old can fathom what life will be like at 40. Youthfulness is blind like that. I don’t think he’ll be playing senior circuit events in Florida when he’s 55, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s still trying to compete with the young bucks in majors like Greg Norman did a few times.



In more Rory news, the World Number 1 took to Periscope late on Sunday evening to share his trans-Atlantic flight with his fans so they could see how he was celebrating his recent victory. Because I’m old and have a day job I didn’t catch the Periscope invite in time to partake. From what I’ve read about it, the ordeal was thoroughly entertaining. Rory’s crew was jovial, took questions from fans, and roasted his caddie (JP shown above) relentlessly. One girl asked JP to prom while another fan asked if the caddie ever gets laid. I swear I wasn’t in on this.

More and more golfers are figuring out ways to use Periscope and/or similar technology to engage their fans. I love it, but only when it is done right. Bill Horschel showed his fans some of his practice round from Chambers Bay this week. That’s perfect. I only wish that these ‘events’ could be archived so that they can be re-watched. Am I missing that somewhere or is this the intent? Help an old guy out of you know what I don’t.

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Rors Dominates Quail Hollow: Final Thoughts On Wells Fargo

Don’t Hurt’em Rory

There isn’t a mercy rule in golf. If they didn’t make one for Tiger Woods they’re not going to make one for Rory McIlroy. Perhaps they should. The 7, 8, and other large margins of victory in Rors’ wins is beginning to feel a bit stale. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I watched, and I’d watch any victory this kid has even if he’s up 20 shots. He’s a talent. Period. One of the best ever. We love to watch greatness just as we did with Tiger in his prime. Soak it in folks. This is again rare air.

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What the fuck am I talking about? I’m talking about Rory McIlroy winning the Wells Fargo Championship at Quail Hollow by 7 shots. It wasn’t even that close. When Rory teed off on Saturday he was a few shots behind some guys going low that were already out on the course. That didn’t last long when Rory went out in 31 shots on the front nine. He already has the course record of 62 from his final round in 2010 when he came from behind to win after barely making the cut. So how could he top his front nine 31 and course record? He came home in 30 shots, and there was no luck involved whatsoever.

Rory bombed drives in the center of the fairway and flagged iron and wedge shots all weekend long. His new course record of 61 included no putt or shot made from further than 14 feet. Get the fuck out. When he’s hitting it that good how can you expect anyone to beat him? On top of that, Rory freely admitted in his post win interview that the course fits his game very well. No shit. There are two driveable par 4s and four par 5s he can easily reach in two. His par at the course might as well be 66. The way he dominates it is reminiscent of Tiger at Bay Hill, Torrey Pines, Firestone, etc.

When you play that well and beat the field by 7, you probably set a few records along the way. McIlroy shattered Anthony Kim’s tournament scoring record of -16 with a -21 total of his own. What is even more impressive is that the club’s new greens are supposed to be more firm and fast than the old ones in preparation for an upcoming PGA Championship in 2017. That means the course should be harder overall. Not this week. Not for Rory McIlroy.

He also hit 42 drives over 300 yards this week. Read that slowly to yourself again. Now realize he only had a chance to hit ‘drives’ 56 times in 72 holes. He also hit a few 3 woods and irons of tees. My rough estimate is that he hit 42 of about 48 full swing tee shots. I realize the track was firm and fast, but having 85% of your drives go that far is a bit silly/sickening. No single hole in the tournament captured Rory’s dominance like the way he played the 16th in the final round.

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The 1st hole of the Green Mile is supposed to be a bitch. You see that red dot down in the center of the fairway? That’s where Rory hit it, 364 yards, center cut. Then he flagged his gap wedge for a kick in birdie on a 514 yard par 4. It does play slightly downhill, but CBS reported today that it was playing into the wind. How is anyone else supposed to compete with that? Oh and you know what? McIlroy putted pretty damn well this week too. That’s been the weakest part of his game for about a month with the exception of a few clutch putts he made in the WGC Match Play. Enter putting coach Dave Stockton to give Rory a tune up before the Wells Fargo began this week. Problem solved. Dominance restored. I believe Stockton did this at Congressional in 2011 and at one other blowout Rory win. The formula seems simple.

I assume he’ll next attempt to defend his BMW Championship in Europe. Remember that win at Wentworth? Its the one that set everything back in motion for Rory again…..right after he dumped Caroline. And since the break up there have been 23 starts made with 7 of them ending in Irish $woosh victories.

The summer of Rory might just getting started. Paging Mr. Spieth, Mr. Jordan Spieth…….

The Field

With Rory in domination mode, the only story line left for CBS to sell us on was the plight of young Patrick Rodgers. Rodgers is a Stanford boy who broke many of Tiger Woods’ records while in Palo Alto. He currently isn’t a Tour member but could have secured unlimited sponsor exemptions for the rest of the year by winning solo 2nd place money at the Wells Fargo. This would essentially make him a full blown member but he’d have to wait to get Fed Ex points and other little perks of membership until 2016 (unless he were to win).

Rodgers is part of the super class of young guns that are taking over professional golf. He was impressive all week at Quail Hollow and seemed to be on the verge of something great with a 5 under total in 6 holes during the middle of his final Wells Fargo round. Rodgers’ two water balls leading to a double bogey-bogey close on 17 and 18 cost him the solo 2nd place check he desired. He’ll still have a few chances to get the money he needs for his ‘membership’. One decent showing should get it done. Hopefully Nike can get him some better swag for the next time he plays on camera.

What a typical showing for FIGJAM. Missed cut at the Players, contend at Wells Fargo. We should have seen it coming. He plays Quail Hollow better than anyone not named Rory McIlroy. Bitch Tits had a few hole outs, a few scrambling pars, a few what the fuck moments, but overall looked like a guy who’s game was peaking in time for the lead up to a U.S. Open. Oh, and there’s this little nugget from Golf Channel’s Justin Ray.

Wow that is hard to believe. It also shows me that Phil simply doesn’t give a fuck about non-majors anymore.

Young gun Justin Thomas had it going at Quail Hollow this week. That’s no surprise to anyone paying attention to the professional game. Every week Thomas is seemingly withing striking distance of the leaders, but he’s yet to seal the deal. The Green Mile walk on Friday ruined his round and cost him dearly on his way into the weekend. He dropped 3 shots and instead of being in the top 5 at the start of Saturday he was playing early as a dew sweeper. Thomas made the most of it by grabbing the lead early on Saturday with a -8 through 16 round. Then Rory teed off and you know what happened.

I really enjoy watching Thomas play. He’s phenomenal. But he needs to figure out how to grind out more pars on his bad holes and not make big numbers. That sounds obvious and I’m sure JT is thinking the same thing. He’s got a lot of firepower. It is only a matter of time before he figures it out and gets himself a trophy. Hey, did you know Thomas and Patrick Rodgers are roommates (tongue in cheek for CBS bringing it up 53 times during the broadcast) ?

Another overused CBS anecdote from Sunday is the fact that Webb Simpson is a member at Quail Hollow. Yeah, we get it guys [insert members bounce joke here]. Simpson had his best showing in months playing a home game but looked completely over matched on the same golf course and in the same group as a dominant McIlroy. A T2 showing and a shank free weekend equals a successful showing from Webb.

Shot Of The Day

There was a hole-in-one at Quail Hollow on Friday (see prior post). It was nice, but I’m only giving out a Shot of the DAY award in this post. That shot is the wedge Rory hit into 16 green after blasting his longest drive of the day.

With one shot Rory made a very clear statement that there is no doubt who the best of the best is right now. Everyone else, thank you for your participation.

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Aces Wild On Friday

288 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall

The Mechanic, also known as the Most Interesting Man In Golf, is back in the groove this week at the Open de Espana. Keegan Bradley and his caddie weren’t with in 3000 miles, FYI. So what could Miguel Jimenez do of interest worthy of a Saturday morning post on this site? No, he didn’t leak a sex tape of he and his wife swinging. He made an ace in his home country’s Open.

As always, Miguel does everything with style. The 6 iron from 150 is a little weak for a professional, but I’m sure there was wind in his face based on the type of shot he hit. Great shots are great shots no matter what club you use. For his efforts Miguel receives 288 bottles of beer. Huh? The number represents par for the week. You think he and his pals went through them all last night? That is entirely possible.

More Men Have Walked On The Moon

Back stateside Colt Knost found himself on the wrong side of the cut line on Friday afternoon at Quail Hollow. He needed to birdie the last three holes to assure himself of a weekend spot. The closing 3 holes at Quail Hollow are some of the hardest on the tour and they’re known to all as the Green Mile. Knost made par at the difficult 16th hole and things looked bleak. Then this happened at the man-sized par three 17th hole:

Knost said the 3 iron he hit at 17 was pure, but he still needed a bit of luck to make the ace. A few whiffed high fives later and Knost had to collect himself and think of how he’d make a birdie on 18 to make the cut. Somehow he managed to do just that. The PGA Tour announced later that some 5,250+ rounds have been played in the Wells Fargo at Quail Hollow since the event started, and not one player had ever completed the Green Mile in 3 under par. Wow. Not a bad time to do it.

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Amanda Boyd And Her Dog, Tiger’s Letter, And DJ’s Bomb Plus Other Random Hump Day Musings

Do You Know Amanda Boyd? 

Yeah, you do. She’s the former Amanda Dufner and she’s resurfaced since the Dufner divorce with her dog….oh, and she’s wearing a bikini. Seems to me she’s trolling Duf-daddy a bit, but at least we get to see it.

Not letting anyone mess with my mom. #mamasboy #watchdog #instadog

A photo posted by Prince Louie (@louiedufner) on

Regarding the dog’s tail, doesn’t it look like he’s taking a shit on her? So she got $2.5M and the dog. Maybe Jason wanted it that way.

Got to spend #mothersday practicing my swimming with momma.

A video posted by Prince Louie (@louiedufner) on

I’m sure the dipped one will be fine. Hey, maybe he and Lindsey Vonn will get together and lick each other’s wounds. Speaking of Ms. Vonn….

Tiger Was A St St Stuttering Child

Former LPGA player Sophie Gustafson has a severe stuttering problem. Along her golfing journey she became a mentor to a boy who also had this problem, perhaps even worse than she does. The boy, Dillon, had become a victim of bullying because of his impediment. Bullying led to him having self esteem issues and he became suicidal. His mother contacted Gustafson for additional help and Sophie decided to reach out to the one and only Tiger Woods for some assistance. Tiger wrote the boy the following note:

“Dear Dillon,

Someone told me that you like watching me play golf. I really appreciate that, and I also want to say how proud I am of you. I know what it’s like to be different and to sometimes not fit in. I also stuttered as a child and I would talk to my dog and he would sit there and listen until he fell asleep. I also took a class for two years to help me, and I finally learned to stop. I was younger than most of the kids I competed against and often I was the only minority player in the field. But, I didn’t let that stop me, and I think it’s even inspired me to work harder. I know you can do that too. You have a great family, and big fans like me on your side. Be well and keep fighting. I’m certain you’ll be great at anything you do.”

Who knew Tiger had kindness like that in him? And I wasn’t aware that TW had a stuttering problem. Is that public knowledge before today? I guess I’m not shocked by it. His dad probably scared him in to stuttering with all that green beret shit he pulled on Tiger as a kid.

As for Dillon, the letter from Woods was well received. His parents think he’s turned the corner and after he recovers from a recent suicide attempt he plans to attend an event Tiger plays. Good for him. Nice job Tiger.

Trick Shot DJ

Dustin Johnson was home in Myrtle Beach today having a little fun with the Bryan Brothers. If you don’t know who they are, they’re like circus performers of golf. In other words, they are some of the most entertaining trick shot golfers you’ll ever see. You can check out their site here. The Bryan boys met up with DJ and tried to have him hit a ball they lofted in the air over some wide body of water. Their attempt at entertainment was somewhat successful.

In my opinion, whatever I just watched was boring as fuck. I expected more. Dustin is a good athlete. They should have lobbed a ball to him for a dunk, then had him pick up a driver and do something like that. Whatever.

Speaking of DJ, Paulina was back in a bikini in public for the first time since she birthed his child.

HERE COMES PAULINA…she’s been working towards new bikini pics for a couple months

Golf news was slow today, but I’m guessing if you made it this far in the post you already know that.

Worst Kept Secret In Golf

The Masters Tournament has a lottery that you can win to get tickets, but you probably already knew that. Seems as though everyone knows that. Earlier this week the Men of the Masters opened up 2016 applications for said lottery. If you can’t figure out how to get into the lottery, I’m not going to help you at this point because the less applicants the better for my odds.

Ok, fine. Just go to and click where it tells you to and you’ll figure it out. What I found interesting was all the Twitter nerds who called the exercise of the application ‘pointless’. Really? I took me 16 seconds and 5 clicks to apply. Yes, your odds are not what they used to be when the process was done by snail mail and paper, but you can’t win tickets if you don’t apply. I got them in 2011, via the old system, you gotta have hope.

Oregon Bound

The USGA announced future U.S. Am sites today during coverage of the Women’s 4 Ball on Fox1. The USWA4Ball was being played at Bandon Dunes so it was only fitting that the USGA’s announcement involved another USGA Championship coming back to the Pacific Northwest. The 2020 Am will be played on the Bandon Trails course with the Old MacDonald course also being used in the stroke play qualifying portion of the event.

A U.S. Am assignment to a course is often a trial run for the U.S. Open coming a few years later. Now don’t get too excited all you crazy Oregonians. I don’t think that is going to happen in this case. From what I understand, Bandon doesn’t have the infrastructure to host the hoards of people that would attend a major championship. I’ve been wrong before, but I like my odds on this one. Oh, the USGA also announced that the 2019 men’s USAm would be hosted by Pinehurst.


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Rickie Fowler Silences Haters: Final Thoughts On Players Championship

Let The Clubs Do Talking

By now you’ve heard about the anonymous PGA Tour player poll that named Rickie Fowler (and Ian Poutler) as the most over-rated player on Tour. In all the discussions I’ve had on this topic since the poll came out its clear to me that no one who’s informed about professional golf agrees with this sentiment. Perhaps that belief should have changed for the better when Rick posted top 5 finishes in all 4 majors last year, but winning is likely the only thing that will prove that thought wrong forever. Misinformed, uneducated, or whatever the case was with the poll, Fowler came to TPC Sawgrass with a chip on his shoulder this week due to the bullshit. Then he let his clubs do the talking.

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Fowler jumped up the leaderboard early on Thursday but some sloppy play late in his 1st round made what could have been a lower score result in only a 69. The same score again on Friday followed by a Saturday 71 had me thinking he might be out of it (let the record show I did pick him as one of the four guys I thought could/would win on Saturday morning – read prior post). On Sunday, standing on the 13th tee one over for the day I stuck a fork in him. Shit got crazy immediately after that.

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That graphic doesn’t even include the birdie he made on 13. Rick played his last 10 holes (including the playoff) in 8 under. The last 4 in 11 shots. No one has ever done that before at Sawgrass. That run includes some of the toughest holes on the PGA Tour schedule! He was incredible. Even crazier is the fact that he finished his final 6 holes of regulation in 6 under par and that wasn’t good enough to win the Players outright. Clutch shots from Sergio Garcia and Kevin Kisner down the stretch meant that Rick was going to have to earn his big win in a 3 hole, 3 man, aggregate playoff.

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Fowler’s scores on the last 10 holes he played don’t tell the whole story. There wasn’t any luck involved, he hit bullets, lasers, whatever the fuck you want to call them…..long sonic-boom blasting drives, precision irons, and clutch putts. He did fan his first tee shot of the playoff and scuffed a short wedge on the 3rd playoff hole, but everything else was flush. He was clutch.

Homie hit some of the longest drives for the week at 18 on the 72nd hole and final hole of the aggregate playoff. He swung without fear off that tee and outdrove Garcia and Kisner by 50 yards (they did hit 3 woods, but still). And to finish things off, the wedge he hit on 17 in the sudden death playoff….well……it doesn’t get any better.

Shot Of The Day

And that shot was so good it is the Shot of the Day.

With Kisner already close, Rickie took dead aim and knocked it to near gimmie range. Once Kisner missed Rickie aggressively knocked in his 4 1/2 footer for the biggest payday/win of his career. A party with his mom, sister, and girlfriend ensued. That’s a nice Mother’s Day present. But why was Fowler’s mommy on her way to the airport to catch a flight while he was still on the course? She and his sis were at the Jacksonville airport and checked in for their flight when they got wind of Rick’s back nine charge. It didn’t take them long race back to Sawgrass to see their boy get his trophy. Fowler’s 2nd shot at 16 in regulation could have won the SOTD award just as easily if so many clutch shots hadn’t happened after it.

That was very similar to a shot Freddie Couples hit at 16 on his way to victory in 1996. Ironically, Fowler once dressed up as Fred for Halloween.

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Fowler strangely did not wear his traditional Sunday orange today at the Players. My guess is this was simply due to most players incorporating pink in to their garb to celebrate Mother’s Day. Now that he’s won sans orange, will he go back to it the next time he plays? I think all-orange is now dead for Rickie, it should be, but I’m superstitious. How could the hacks at Sawgrass not ask such an important question to him in his post round presser?

Rick’s Chick

Yeah, the girl in the yellow you all saw Rick lip lock after he won as you rooted for her top to fall down, that’s Alexis Randock. She’s been dating Fowler since last year and was the WAG of the Year for 2014. I guess you can say I have an eye for these types of things. Alexis is a ‘retired’ bikini model. She went to Arizona State. She’s a solid 9.5.


#troubleishere #3musketeers

A photo posted by Alexis Randock (@alexis.randock) on

I know a few of you will be expecting her to be the June SFG WAG of the Month. Sorry to break your spirit, but she isn’t eligible. As the reigning WAG of the Year, she held down the month of January. She can win again for the year, but I can’t in good faith make her a repeat WAG of the Month winner in the same year. I am a man of principle if I’m anything.

The Field

Where do you start? None of the guys in the playoff deserved to lose. Sergio, outside of the shot he hit in his socks from the cartpath, was damn fantastic on Sunday. Of the contenders, his 4th round 68 was only bettered by Fowler’s crazy run. When he made his shoeless bogey I figured it wasn’t Garcia’s day. He showed a ton of guts to birdie 16 and 17 (THAT PUTT!!!!!) to tie Fowler and he damn near won the thing on 18 with another birdie.

Journeyman Kevin Kisner was even better than Garcia down the stretch on Sunday. He also birdied 16 and 17 to tie Fowler and Garcia at -12. He played the 18th hole to perfection except for the fact that his 9 foot birdie putt somehow stayed high. He was solid in the playoff too, but simply got beat by Rickie. This was Kevin’s 2nd playoff loss on Tour in 4 weeks as he got beat by Furyk at the Heritage in April. Don’t feel too bad for him. He’s still taking home close to $900k for his efforts at the Players.

Ben Martin was the 4th guy to get to 12 under on Sunday at Sawgrass. Ben’s ball striking was the shakiest of the contenders on the final nine holes. His flaws caught up with him when a wayward tee ball on the 72nd hole lead to a bogey and him missing the playoff. Bill Haas had the opposite problem as Martin. Bill struck it great, but he missed two putts under four feet to miss the playoff by a shot. The good news for Bill is that he finally had a top ten finish in a major/Players championship. Read that again and let it sink in.

I’m (Almost) Starting To Like Ted

With Fowler having answered his critics by winning the Players, does that mean Ian Poulter is now confirmed as the most over-rated player on Tour? One former PGA president thinks so.

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That’s a tweet from Ted Bishop, the guy that previous called Ian Poulter a little girl and was impeached from his presidential post at the PGA of America for doing so. As you can see, Ted went to bat for Fowler after his victory and couldn’t resist another shot at Ian. That’s perfect. Of course, Ian couldn’t respond with anything other than a Ryder Cup comment. That is all he has. What a chump. Ted probably should have just kept his mouth shut, but that old coot just can’t resist. What the fuck does he have to lose at this point?

Feeling Out Fowler

Without a doubt, Rickie Fowler answered the critics who previously doubted him at the Players Championship. Fowler is a good player who is great when his game is on. He’s uber aggressive as shown by his shots at the pin on 17 and his ability to bomb drives with no fear on 18 all five times he played it this week. He’s good for golf. Kids love him. He signs autographs for everyone. He makes birdies in bunches. Drives fast cars. And dates models. The Players couldn’t have a better champion in Fowler and the victory somewhat validates his major run last year. Its hard to believe this was only win number 2 for Rick, but win number 3 won’t take 3 years to show up like win number 2. Congrats to him for coming up big today. I hope you bought Puma stock on Friday.

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Tiger Is In, Spieth Is Out: Cut Day At The Players

I Didn’t See That Coming

Who did? Jordan Spieth has been on an absolute nut busting streak over the last 6 weeks on Tour. Tiger Woods has barely been seen but for four rounds at the Masters. A missed cut seemed like a sure thing for TW while a top 5 finish or better was the logical prediction for Jordan. That’s why we love golf. You have no idea what game will show up once you get to the course.

Hey, Tiger barely made it, but the grind was fun to watch. He’s making enough birdies to be leading the tournament but he can’t rid himself of the bad swings that lead to bogies and doubles. Making the weekend is huge for him. More reps, more competitive golf, and more eyeballs for the PGA Tour. He had to birdie his last hole on Friday to get under the number. When his putt went in he gave us a good old fashioned fist pump. He knows what the extra golf could mean for him and he still believes he can win this week.

Jordan will be fine. He needs a reboot and a few home games in Texas to get back to normal. He also got a ton of bad breaks this week. That’s my fault because I picked him in my fantasy pool. Sorry bro.

Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na……Goodbye

Kevin Fucking Na and Jerry Kelly are leading the players through 36 holes, but you already knew that. I highly doubt either of them wins it. They both are too jittery to hold up under the pressure of the players. Pencil in some weekend 74s or worse for that duo and call them done. I’ll take Brandon Grace, Rickie Fowler, Bill Haas and Rory to be at the top of the leaderboard when business closes on Sunday. Cream rises, shit sinks, sorry Jerry. Na’s meltdown will be entertaining, that’s a sure thing.

If you’re not swinging well at TPC Sawgrass frustration can be a hard thing to hide. Just ask Jonas Blixt. He had enough of his driver after hitting it in the water on the 18th hole so he rid himself of it.

Too bad for Blixt that he had 9 more holes to play at Sawgrass after that. Blixt shot 80 and missed the cut by 10 miles.

Phil Mickelson also missed the cut at the Players this year. He hasn’t made the cut since he won it in 2007. After his round he murmured to himself that he’s not sure how he ever won on this golf course. It is the square peg to his game that is a round hole. I have to agree. How the fuck did FIGJAM ever win the Players?

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Photo courtesy of @Wrong_Fairway

Aaron Baddeley is also headed home for the weekend from Ponte Vedra. Badds made a 7 on the famed par three 17th after hitting his tee shot in the drink. He was well on his way to missing the cut but was asked to go with a PGA Tour official as he walked off 18. Seems as though Aaron’s drop on 17 was in question and the Tour wanted to review the video with him. It was decided that Baddeley violated rule 20-2 by not holding his hand at shoulder height when executing his drop. Yeah, that’s a rule. I knew it, but I’ve never seen it actually questioned. And the fact that they added a stroke to a guys score that meant nothing is damn hilarious. That’s like an NBA ref watching video of a lane violation to not count a missed free throw when there’s 10 seconds left in a blowout game. Badds took it well. How could he not? Can you imagine if Tiger had been in his position and that penalty would have made him miss the cut? There might have been riots.

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Hump Day Musings: Players Edition

Foxy Holly’s Return

Holly Sonders left the Golf Channel almost a year ago and we’ve barely seen her since. How sad. Golf’s former ‘IT’ girl will be back soon so do not fear you pervy freaks. As you know, Holls signed with Fox and will be part of the robot network’s U.S. Open coverage and NFL Sundays. She’s also celebrating her 2 year anniversary of being Golf Digest’s cover girl in May of 2013. To mark such an occasion the GD folks caught up with Holly and shot a video to show a day in the life of. If you need a Holly fix, a peak will fill that void.

She looks different, doesn’t she? It could be her hair style. It could be that she had work done. What do you think? Whatever the case I’ll be happy to have her back on the air. Outside of how she looks I think she’s pretty solid at her actual job. Too bad she wasn’t on more of Fox 1’s coverage of the U.S. Four-ball that aired on Tuesday.

Done With Vonn, Who’s Next? 

Tiger was up early in Ponte Vedra today to get in his practice round for the Players Championship. Then he sat/stood for questions with the media where he told them he feels good, but tired, and he made some more swing tweaks (uh oh!) since the Masters. Also, his hand is fine. While on the range he was hugging everyone in sight as he did at the Masters and found time to tell jokes with old coach Sean Foley.

So why is he tired as he told the media? TW said he hasn’t slept much because the anniversary of his dad’s death just passed and that is always hard on him. Also, the break up with Vonn cost him some sleep. I’ll take his word for it. The break up has only been official for 48 hours and there are already odds out on who his next fling will be with. Paddy Power set the lines at 7 to 1 for Elin, 16 to 1 for Cameron Diaz, and 20 to 1 for Jenna Jameson. You can see the rest of the list here. Personally, if I were Tiger, its Emily Ratajkowski or bust. Elin is the safe bet.

Speaking Of WAGs…

Remember when we heard that Rory couldn’t make the Vegas fight last weekend so he watched with media while still at Harding Park? His agent ordered pizzas…..??? Yeah, well, here’s the pic form that get together.

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I saw this on Sunday and thought nothing of it. Then SFG reader Dave Kateeb pointed out to me the chick sitting next to Rors. Doesn’t it look like she has her hand on his leg? Dave also said there was another image circling with her holding his hand. If you look close enough I think you can tell this is his latest girl, Erica Stoll. He went to see her recently in her home town. Now she’s in San Francisco with him and he wins. I think its fair to say this one has gone from booty call to full blown canoodling.

Chew, Sweat, And Alimony Payments

That is what I’d imagine the PGA Tour’s new cologne smells like. You read that right. The PGA Tour released PGA Tour Prosport cologne today. Why?

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There’s expanding your brand, then there’s being a product whore and not knowing where to stop. I think the Tour has pushed way far over to the ‘whore’ end of that scale. Lets all hope this is never available in a store we shop in, or worse, in a Father’s Day gift we open.

A Yeti Sighting

The day after the last edition of Hump Day Musings was posted the golf world had its very own yeti sighting and I’ve yet to have a chance to talk about it. Yup, Anthony Kim, in the flesh, at a Vegas club of all places. Where else would you think we’d see him?

It's super rare to be out with @ricksalomon and golf great @Anthony Kim

A photo posted by Jean-Robert Bellande (@brokelivingjrb) on

The rumor is that Kim was in town for the Mayweather fight Rory was supposed to see. I don’t think its any coincidence that we see Kim and the 2nd Entourage movie trailer comes out in the same month. Seeing Kim’s image gave me hope that perhaps a public appearance means he might golf again on Tour. Then reality set in that he probably already collected his $17 million in insurance money so why not go to Vegas and spend some of it. It doesn’t suck to be AK, but golf fans surely miss him.

New Month New WAG

If you hadn’t noticed, a new WAG of the Month has been crowned at I went old school with the original golf WAG, Mrs. Ben Crenshaw. You may call her a MILF or a GILF as that’s probably accurate. Obviously she doesn’t look the same today so perhaps you can consider this a lifetime achievement award. A well earned one, in my opinion.

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