Holy Schmitz! A New U.S. Mid Am Champ Is Crowned

Ranked The 5478th Best Amateur, But Who Is Counting?

I love the U.S. Mid-Am because it is the truest form of amateur golf played at the national level. There’s no future pros. There’s very few young bucks. And not one competitor is considering turning pro. All eligible golfers with a 3.4 handicap or lower that are 25+ years of age can play. Just sign up, pay the fee, and pick a qualifying location. It sounds too easy, but that is how Sammy Schmitz became the 35th USGA Mid-Am Champion on Thursday.

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That is Schmitz, not to be confused with 1990s SNL spoof of Schmitts Gay…

Sammy’s opponent in the final was anything but Dull….well, actually he was Marc Dull. Dull is a Streamsong caddie that lives in Florida. If he’d won and received the Masters invite that goes to the champ, his trip to Magnolia Lane next spring would have been on par with Francis Ouimet’s victory at Brookline. A caddie qualifying for the Masters, in 2015? Get the fuck out of here. It almost happened. Schmitz and Dull’s morning 18 ended with Schmitz up 2. On the 2nd loop around things got a bit sloppy. Holes were won with bogies. That is the kind of shit that happens when guys that aren’t tour pros are playing that much golf. Fatigue is funny that way.

Dull began a rally that saw him get to only 2 down after being 4 down at one point in the match. Then Schmitz hit the shot of his life to send him to Augusta.

Sammy told Golf Channel that he was a little steamed after butchering the 14th hole and losing it thanks to having a buried lie in the bunker. Well, an albatross ace to go dormie should cool anyone off. On the 16th hole Schmitz halved with Dull to end the match 3 & 2. The Health Care Manager from Minnesota now gets to live every amateur’s dream as a Cinderella story, about to play in…..the 2016 Masters.

Now Rid Us Of The Former Pros

I play in a U.S. Mid-Am qualifier every year. I’ve been eligible for 11 now and have played 8 times in qualifying missing only my first, my third because I was moving, and my 7th because of the birth of my 1st born. I know I only have about a 5 to 10 percent chance of making it, but the courses are great and the competition makes you feel alive. I schedule much of my golf season around it, preparing for it, and getting in ample practice rounds at the host site. And every year I leave my qualifier thinking to myself, “how many pros just beat me?”

What I mean by that is the fields in mid-am events, both at the state level and national level, typically includes former elite college players that have turned pro and regained their amateur status. They’ve had the advantage of playing golf for a living for a number of years with their only penalty of forgoing their amateur status being that they sat out amateur events for a year. How is that fair? Plain and simple, it isn’t.

The U.S. Mid-Am Championship was created because the USGA realized that the U.S. Am had turned into a mini-tour event. Most players in the Am field are college players that will turn professional after their eligibility has expired or earlier if they’re an uber talent. Once they make shit money for a few years and realize they’re not going to make it playing for a living they can get their status back in a blink and compete against true ams again and clean their clocks. A guy in a state mid-am qualifier made 9 birdies at a qualifier I played in circa 2013. He Shot 66. Eat a shit burger, guy. Why are you here? Oh, that’s right. You played D1 golf, turned pro because you were first team All-Patriot League, then couldn’t make it on your own and daddy invited you home to help him manage hedge funds.

2015 Mid Am Champ Sammy Schmitz is a former pro. I’d bet 25% of the field was. Sammy played at tiny St. Johns college in Minnesota and then took his turn at the professional ranks before giving up to be a desk jockey. He’s probably close to a decade removed from being a pro. Perhaps the solution is to extend the amateur reinstatement period to 10 years instead of 1. But then there’s guys like Jess Daley (shown above). Jess was an NCAA champion at Northwestern when Luke Donald was there. He played on the Web.com Tour and had a cup of coffee on the big tour. He’s made over $500,000 playing golf for a living. Yet he was in the mid-am field this week in Florida. I’m sure he’s a nice chap, but go fuck yourself. There is a reason as to why heavy weight fighters have a weight class. Jess, you aren’t a amateur. If you want to play golf still, play in your local professional events. And if the USGA wants a championship that is played in Bobby Jones spirit, they’ll have to fix the issue of former pros being eligible for the Mid-Am.

Posted in Random Shit, Uncategorized, Weekend Hacks: Amateur Golf | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Pre-Prez Cup Musings (Well, What-The-Fuck-Else Would You Call Them?)

There Is A Truther In All Of Us

You already know that U.S. Presidents Cup Captain Jay Haas picked son Bill Haas and Phil Mickelson for his two captain’s picks for this week’s matches in Korea. You also probably know that Jim Furyk was nursing a wrist injury that has forced him to withdraw from the matches and be replaced by a 3rd selection by Captain Haas. So who did Haas pick? Well, not Brooks Koepka. Not the 12th ranked player in the world who is higher than over half the Americans on the team. Not the guy that would have made the team with ease had the PGA Tour not used a different point system than the International team….nope. J.B. Holmes made it instead.

I don’t believe this is an conspiracy, but it is a travesty. It sucks for Koepka. It sucks for fans. And it sucks for the development of young PGA Tour players. The boys of No Laying Up (who are Koepka’s number 1 fans) were all over this sham. The graphic below tweeted by NLU sums up the strange selection more than anything, but the full post from NLU is worth a read.

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Read the full truther post, also know as the Koepka Kalamity, here. This isn’t anything against Holmes. It is an argument for getting the pick right. There isn’t a thing in NLU’s post I can disagree with, nor would I. Nailed it. Well done fellas, you even managed to quote 4 of your own tweets!

Eric Dickerson Got A Thunderbird And Cash

Southern Methodist University cheats at everything. Fuck…they probably cheat at chess. Their football team got the death penalty from the NCAA in the 1980s. Their basketball team got slapped on the wrist last week when infamous cheater Larry Brown was busted for his players not completing their own school work along with other transgressions. In addition to the hoops issues, their ex-golf coach was also busted for selling clubs to recruits. To punish SMU the NCAA banned their golf team from post season play. That means reigning NCAA and U.S. Am champ Bryson DeChambeau won’t get a chance to defend his NCAA title. It also means he has no reason to stick around SMU and play amateur golf past Masters week.

DeChambeau has given his current coach notification of his plans. If he didn’t have the Masters exemption lingering he’d probably start using sponsor invites on the PGA Tour when it starts back up in a couple of weeks. BD is ready to play professionally. The NCAA’s decision, albeit a shitty one punishing innocent kids (do they do this any other way?), will put a paycheck in DeChambeau’s hand a few months early. That isn’t a bad thing for his career and it isn’t a bad thing for fans that like young dynamic stars in the making.

Twenty Fifteen By The Numbers For Rory

ESPN can be worthless at times when it comes to covering golf. Things have been better for the World Wide Leader since Jason Sobel returned. Today the Bristol boys ran a fun little summary of Rory McIlroy’s year. Some of the numbers are staggering. The dude ran 644 miles. Swam about 150. Biked 400 more miles. And did a bunch of other exercises that I want nothing to do with. They even tracked his minutes stretching (6720). What the fuck? Who was counting?

He also hit about 17,000 golf balls, walked over 900 miles on the course, and did over 200 media interviews. I’m exhausted. They also kept stats on his schedule as far as sleep, travel, etc., but those are about what you’d expect for a guy of his worth/talent/stature. This is really just an FYI. I had no clue someone would track this information with such detail. The ESPN piece can be found here.

The article also discloses a fine Rory received from the Tour for his club toss at Doral. Remember that, the 3 iron that found the hazard on the Blue Monster’s 8th hole? Finchy hit Rors for 25k for that tantrum. Then Rory apologized and Timmy shrunk the fine to 5k. That’s no joke. I’m guessing Tiger just sends a check that he’s already signed and his accountant simply fills in the amount and slides it in a pre-addressed envelope after TW wipes his ass with it. No apology enclosed.

Posted in Courses, Presidents Cup, Random Shit, Tour Talk, Weekend Hacks: Amateur Golf | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Random Shit To Get You To The Weekend

No PGA Tour Golf This Week, No Problem

I’m fucking with you. That is a serious problem. Yes we have football back in full throat to fill the void, but not having real professional golf played at the highest level gracing my television on Sunday will make my life feel empty. You do have the Dunhill Links Cup being played at St. Andrews by the European Tour if you need a fix. The Golf Channel will also be showing the finals of the Web.com Tour for you to take in during commercials of your favorite games. Until then, this is all I have for you, a steaming load of random shit for you to devour. Enjoy.

Stuffing The Ballot Box

In no way am I trying to promote Jason Day for Player of the Year while bringing down Jordan Spieth in this blip of my post. I’m simply showing you a little more of their lives away from the course. Spieth is going to accept the POTY award from the Tour sometime on Friday via teleconference, as he should. Perhaps in an attempt to gain a few more votes, or maybe as a tribute to a great season, Day’s sponsor (RBC) put out a fantastic mini-biography on Jason Day’s upbringing in Australia. This is worth ten minutes of your time. Check it out:

Did you cry? Come on asshole, you did, didn’t you? What a great piece and story of overcoming obstacles to get to number 1. Plus, I know you pervs checked out Ellie’s prego- cleavage that popped out in a brief clip.

Jordan Spieth doesn’t have Day’s background. His family life was pretty damn stable. His image is squeaky clean. Is he human? Yes, yes he is. As GolfWRX’s Ben Alberstadt points out on Twitter, Jordan follows “Slamming Bodies”. Yeah, what 22 year old doesn’t like to ogle tits on the internet? He also follows bikini model Devin Brugman.

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I love it. Hey, we’re guys. We do shit like that. I have a friend who’s a bit of a public figure that has a separate Twitter account so that he can follow porn stars. Maybe Spieth should follow his lead. AT&T, Under Armor, and other sponsors might advise him to start doing so.

Worst Putt Ever Struck?

That’s possible, but I’m guessing Michael J. Fox could yip it worse. If you’ve avoided Twitter and other places on the internet where things go viral then perhaps you haven’t seen what Ernie Els did today at the aforementioned Dunhill Links Cup. The video says it all:

Shit happens. We’ve all tweaked a putt like that at some point, yet all the trolls of the interwebs went for Els jugular when berating him for his gaffe. I can’t watch it more than once. Its like a bad injury that is shown too many times during a football game.

Big Foot Will Be Doing Interviews Next Week

Doug Ferguson of the Associated Press tracked down Anthony Kim and actually got an interview with him. Yes, that is a factual statement. Kim sounded like a straight shooter with Doug. The highlights of the interview are that Kim really is hurt and is still recovering from several surgeries. He does get paid by an insurance company for not being on Tour. He’d like to come back to the Tour, but it won’t be until he’s fully recovered. And he doesn’t play much golf. I guess that squashes some of the fun rumors about his life.

The interview is a huge nut for Ferguson and it likely makes him the front runner for my year end award that goes to a golf media type. You can read the interview here on Golfweek’s site.

Site News

Yes, the season is over, but no…that does not mean I’ll be posting less. I don’t change my frequency. I post as much as my real job, golf game, and family life allow. Plus, I’ll be starting my year-end awards – the Shutters – in the very near future. Oh yeah, I’ve also updated my WAG of the Month for October. That went to Gerina Piller.

Her husband Martin played on the Web.com Tour this year and will be a full blown PGA Tour member in 2016. She’s the WAG of the Month because she made the biggest putt in the history of the Solheim Cup….well, and because she has huge tits.

Posted in Awards, Comedy, Random Shit, Site News, Tour Talk, WAGS | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Spieth Reigns At East Lake: Final Thoughts On Tour Championship

Putting Doubt To Rest

The fact that as of last Friday we were still debating who the PGA Tour Player of the Year is was not a knock against Jordan Spieth, but rather a validation of how good of a year Jason Day had in 2015. Jordan Spieth won the first two majors to go along with 2 other victories. In most years that resume slams the door on the POTY chatter. Day won more events and also won a major while coming close in both Opens. His hot play from the British Open through the BMW Championship put him very much in the POTY hunt. Another win at East Lake and a Fed Ex Championship might have just put him ahead of Jordan, but Spieth wasn’t having it.

Makes history with FedExCup win

In the blink of an eye, the week after Jordan earned the number 1 ranking in the world, he lost it by missing the cut. Then he got it back but lost it again due to Jason Day’s victory. As soon as Day got it he would lose it if Spieth were to win the Tour Championship. That is 6 number 1s in 6 weeks if you’re keeping track.

There’s no doubt that Day’s play lit a fire under Spieth. The two are friends and played several rounds together in August and September. After two missed cuts in the first 2 Fed Ex events Jordan used the off week to find his game, play respectable in Chicago last week, and then win the Tour Championship this week at East Lake. He won by 4 in the sloppy, wet conditions at Bobby Jones old home tracj. He won as he does, keep the ball in play in front of you and make putts. The formula is simple.

The victory makes Mr. Speith the POTY. Case closed. Why the Tour released nominations for Jason Day, Rickie Fowler, or anyone else on Monday is only for the punch line. Two majors, 5 wins, a Fed Ex Cup, and $22 million in career earnings at 22 years of old. Not too shabby.

The Winners

If you’re new to SFG, you’ll want to know that with each big event we crown the winners and losers that result from it. For the 2015 Tour Championship my winners and losers are as follows:

Jordan Spieth – At SFG, the winner is always the big winner in my book. Ten million dollars earned and a lock on the Player of the Year….yeah, winner. Let’s move on.

Jason Day Day has nothing to be ashamed of. There was no way he could keep up his god-like play for another week. He admitted he was fatigued the week before the BMW when the boys were off. I’m sure some of that came back after his grind of a weekend in Chicago where he put himself under pressure to close the tournament and get the number 1 ranking.

In 40 out of the last 50 PGA Tour seasons Jason Day would likely be the Player of the Year. But this was the year of Spieth. Day was a great running mate. And he’ll be a force for the considerable future. He’ll also be a new dad this fall. Winner, winner.

Henrik Stenson – The big Swede was damn near on the other side of this ledger after hitting his signature shank on the 71st hole of the Tour Championship. The shank didn’t matter a whole lot. Stenson wasn’t going to catch Jordan Spieth at that point. Hank didn’t even break a club after the shank. Instead he manned up and moved on to the par 3 18th hole where he did this:

That 57 foot bomb looked pretty innocent until you realize that the putt boasted Stenson back into a tie for 2nd place and gained him enough Fed Ex points to get an additional $1M bonus from the Tour for his efforts.

Michael Greller – Mr. Greller is of course Jordan Spieth’s caddie. When your guy wins a Brinks truck full of cash and you’re looping….well, you just got paid too. I don’t know the specifics of Greller’s agreement with Spieth and I don’t need to. What I do know is that homie loaded now.

I think it is safe to say he’s never going back to his former life as a teacher.

Daniel Berger – The rookie finished 2nd last week in Chicago but was only good enough in Atlanta for a T12 showing. While I’m sure he had his sights on bigger prizes, just being in the ATL last week was big for Berger. He’s in the Masters field next year and he might have surpassed Justin Thomas as the favorite to win Rookie of the Year. That race is far from over. It will be close. I haven’t looked at their years side-by-side yet so I cannot declare a winner, but Berger is a legit threat to JT now.

The Losers

Rory McIlroy – Too harsh? No, I don’t think so. Rory’s year went to shit the second he stepped on the soccer pitch and injured himself in early July. He’s been playing catch up to Spieth ever since he returned to the course. In the Fed Ex events he never truly found his game and wasn’t much of a factor. That alone doesn’t make him a SFG loser, no…he gets that honor for saying he wasn’t that interested in winning the Fed Ex prize of $10M for his efforts.

I get it Rors. You’ve got enough money. And you shouldn’t be playing thinking about a pay day. But don’t come out and say that to the media. It makes you look spoiled. If you want to go a step in the other direction, tell the slappy journos you’ll donate $10M to charity if you win.

Johnny Miller – I didn’t catch much of the Tour Championship live so feel free to weigh in on how bad, or really bad, Johnny was while working the 18th tower action at East Lake. What I do know is that he had this gem of a call on Justin Rose’s tee shot early on Sunday.

If you’re at work or have no audio, all you need to know is that Johnny was very complementary of Rosie’s move but the shot ended up out of bounds. Oops.

Jim Furyk – Jimbo typically feasts at East Lake. He’s won here before and he’s also known to be a horse for a course that is covered in slop. East Lake should have been perfect for him. The problem? He never got out of the starting block. Jim WD’d last week at Conway Farms due to a wrist injury and then did the same early last week in Atlanta. Jim missed out on a shit load of cash, Fed Ex points, a possible win, world ranking points, and now he’s doubtful for the Presidents Cup. Tough break.

East Lake – Ok, we get it. Bobby Jones played at the very private and very southern club a thousand years ago. That doesn’t make it great, it only makes it historic. The course is boring for viewers and isn’t going to make the casual fan change the channel from football no matter who is playing/contending. Plus, the season ends on a boring par 3 where birdies are fairly rare. What the fuck, Finchem?

Move it. Rotate the Tour Championship to anywhere else. In September you have enough pleasant weather throughout the U.S. that you could play the tournament anywhere. A change in venue is necessary. Do it now.

Tim Finchem – The commish had Jason Day, Jordan Spieth, Rory McIlroy, Henrik Stenson and Rickie Fowler all in contention for a flagship event with big time bucks on the line, shouldn’t that get him on the list of winners? Not on this site. No one was watching. The ratings don’t lie, On top of that, the Tour let NBC dictate that they’d show golf from noon to 3 in order to show Notre Dame football on Saturday afternoon. The Irish were playing Massachusetts. Massa-fucking-chusetts!!!!! If golf can’t beat that, why try?

I’ve already harped on the venue being an issue. The other big problem is trying to beat football for eyeballs. College, pro….doesn’t mater, Tim. Stop trying to beat them. Join them. Not literally, but do what they’ve done. Play during the week. Put the tourney on in prime time. Pebble Beach sure looked good last weekend for the Seniors. Why can’t you take the big tour there and play the historic links in September with play Tuesday through Friday, or Monday through Thursday. Figure it out and get it fixed.

Shouts Of The Day

Another week, another event without a true signature shot, ace, etc. Like last week, my Shot of the Day is again a compilation of the champion’s work. Here’s a nice mash up that NBC/Golf Channel put together of Jordan Spieth talking to his balls. I know there was a similar highlight clip from the Masters, but these don’t get old to me. The kid is priceless.

Congrats again to Jordan, his team, and his family on a historic 2015. Well played.

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Solheim Celebration And Other Hump Day Musings

Shove It Up Your Petterson

I was in pocket for much of last weekend on a golf trip. I didn’t follow any part of the Solheim until I woke Sunday morning when the final holes were being played. I knew the score was lopsided in Europe’s favor but did a double take when I saw the U.S. was making a charge (I was still drunk so I had to make sure it wasn’t blurred vision). What happened after that was an amazing stretch of golf that all went Captain Julie Inkster’s way. Match after match on the board for Sunday singles went to the girls in red, white, and blue. This wasn’t the miracle at Brookline, this was a blitzkrieg on German soil.

The cup was determined by Gerina Piller’s match. Piller knew early on that her fellow Americans hadn’t fared as well in their matches and that Europe would keep the cup if they won just one more point. Playing the 18th hole with a 1 up lead, Piller had to get up and down for par and hope Caroline Masson missed her birdie putt just to give the U.S. a chance. Her putt to save par started an American avalanche on the Solheim scoreboard.

I understand the emotion that Piller was overwhelmed with at the moment, but I don’t understand the crying. Be happy. Celebrate. And then root like hell for your teammates. If I want to watch women cry I’ll just tell my wife I’m golfing for the entire next week and deal with that at home.

The U.S. won the Solheim Cup for the first time since 2009. That should be the headline from the matches. Instead, all anyone could talk about was Suzann Pettersen’s major faux pas from a resumed 4 ball match that was played early Sunday morning. As you’ll see in the video American Allison Lee missed her birdie putt in the midst of an all square match. After the putt slides by the hole the European players began walking to the next hole. Lee believed her par putt to be conceded and picked it up. Then shit hit the fan.

The referee with the group called the hole a halve, but then Pettersen steps in to say they didn’t concede Lee the putt. They argue, they cry, and the U.S. goes on to lose the hole and the match thanks to this cluster fuck. Shame on all players involved. Lee should have known that she needed to have a clear concession from her opponents before plucking her ball from the putting surface. Pettersen and Hull shouldn’t have walked off. Once they did and the error was made they should have given in. To win a hole in that fashion is shitty. Pettersen looked like a cunt for taking such a stubborn stand against Lee. Her image was so instantly tarnished that she felt the need to (cough….Nike who sponsors her called up and said to do so) apologize for her actions and for the entire incident. No shit? Whatever the case, the move completely backfired on the Euros and fired up the Americans. Thanks for the good juju, Sue.

Tiger On The Table…..Again

Tiger Woods loves to give his bad news late on Friday afternoons. Last Friday he said again that he’d undergone more back surgery to get his lingering issues fixed one more time. I think we all know what this means. He’s fucked, again. Just as he began to show a few slight signs of life he’ll be back to starting over. He’ll need rest. He’ll need rehab. And that means he won’t be practicing or getting better.

The cycle will continue. In 2016 it won’t be his back, but likely some other body part that is integral to the golf swing. This smells like another year of not contending and not winning, period.

And Now I Know The Pink Monkey Exists

The next blurb is a fun viral story that has gained traction over the last few days. The White Pines Golf Course near Chicago has been hosting an outing for the Pink Monkey establishment for the last four years. The Pink Monkey is a strip club that I’ve strangely never heard of having lived in Chicagoland for 8 years. The residents around the White Pines course have become wise to the outing and its annual behavior and this year they took pictures of the strippers that came with the outing personnel in an attempt to make a federal case out of the ‘crime’.

The issue at hand is that White Pines gets some government funding to operate as a park district course. With the strippers being nude on the grounds, the course has now banned the Pink Monkey from using it for their outing and is being investigated. Golf Digest has the local CBS story here.  White Pines is a public course that the city has stake in. There is a park near the course with kids playing while nude strippers are only a few yards away. I love golf and I love strippers, but you have to be smarter about your debauchery.

The Pink Monkey outing will move on, and now they’ll up the anti. The strip club golf outings in my home town were legendary. Girls spread eagle straddling the hole, 100 topless girls on the course, and more booze than I could imagine were/are common place at these things. A story like this won’t stop stripper outings from happening, but now White Pines will have a revenue gap to fill thanks to their blatant stupidity.

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Day Drives To #1: Final Thoughts On BMW Championship

Cheers To The New Number 1

Dominant. That’s the only word I can think of to describe Jason Day right now. Day won again this week at the BMW Championship at Conway Farms, and he did so by 6 shots en route to becoming the new number 1 in the official world rankings. The win is Day’s 5th of the year and 4th in 6 starts since he missed the playoff at the Open Championship by one shot. Fuck me – that is a nice run. The scene of Day winning, embracing his caddie, then smooching his wife with son Dash at his ankles is becoming all to familiar.

Day told Steve Sands of NBC/Golf Channel that Sunday was the hardest round of his life because he knew his coveted number 1 ranking loomed if he could hold on to win the 3rd Fed Ex Cup event. Day was solid on the weekend with two rounds of 69, and that is all he needed to be after his 61-63 start to the championship. Read that again. The man was 18 under through half the tournament. That in itself is the statement he made this week. He was also paired with now former world number 1, Jordan Spieth, when he figuratively bullied him off the golf course with those spectacular rounds.

There is no weakness to Day’s game right now. He does everything well. He’s on fire. And I’ll by dumbfounded if he doesn’t win the Tour Championship next week. After that we might not see JDay for a while. He has no need to play in the fall events. His wife is very pregnant, and with a new baby at home I doubt we’ll see him go back to Australia to play any of the Aussie majors that are contested in November/December. It is a shame, but Day might lose his lofty ranking simply by not playing.

Five wins is more than four. Two majors is more than one. But those two short and simple sentences just about sum up the Player of the Year argument that is going on in the Twittersphere this week. Lucky for us, the season isn’t over just yet. I’ve said for weeks if Day wins again and wins the Fed Ex Cup he’ll have made a legitimate case for himself as the POTY in spite of Jordan Spieth’s two majors. Now that it has happened I’m even more torn. I think if Day takes the Tour Championship at East Lake (should I say when?) then he will have locked up the award. Jordan winning in Atlanta would obviously do the same thing for him. After that….well, tough call. And we don’t get to decide, the players themselves vote on the subject matter. Will they weigh 2 majors with more value than Fed Ex glory? We’ll have to wait and see.

The Field

A month ago almost all golf pundits would have selected Justin Thomas or Tony Finau as the PGA Tour Rookie of the Year. Thomas had plenty of close calls and several top 10 finishes sprinkled throughout 2015. Finau played well in the PGA Championship and had been making noise on Tour for a month. Now neither of those players is in the field at the Tour Championship as they finished outside of the top 30 in Fed Ex points.

Instead of Thomas or Finau locking up the ROTY, Daniel Berger has emerged as the top rookie in the Tour Championship thanks to a 2nd place showing at the BMW. The perception of most golf fans that have paid attention this year would be that Thomas should win the award going away. They’d also be shocked to learn that JT isn’t going to East Lake. They’d probably also assume that Berger didn’t have a great year and one good week in Chicagoland is what vaulted him up the standings. That is only partially true. Berger is only one top ten finish behind Thomas and now (thanks to that 2nd place showing) he has also made more money. Berger is the pick. Numbers don’t lie.

Harris English finished 30th in the standings and gets to play this week in the ATL. In past years English has narrowly finished on the wrong side of the East Lake bubble and been eliminated after the BMW. That means he also didn’t get the Masters invite that goes to to the Tour Championship contestants. He might be the happiest guy in the field next week.

Rory McIlroy played at Conway Farms last week. He even played well enough to contend (for 2nd place) for most of the weekend. He appears to be rounding in to form and will likely be a threat to Day’s reign next week. Rory in contention means we also got to sneak a few peeks at his new Lunar Control 3 shoes from Nike.

No, those aren’t Pumas made for Dick Fowler. Those are $wooshes on the toe that are hard to recognize unless you’re starring down at them on your feet. The shoes, as shown only in the above color scheme, are really fucking ugly. The front being white while the backs are orange is a horrific look. The 2nd best player in the world shouldn’t have to look this stupid on the golf course.

Shots Of Day

That isn’t a typo. And yes, this is usually the spot in which I award a shot of the day. But alas, nothing from Sunday at the BMW caught my eye enough to give it a ‘segment’ of its own. Thanks to the PGA Tour, Jason Day’s dominance, and this clip produced by the Tour for Youtube, the Shot of the Day is an homage to the best 5 shots Jason hit for the whole weekend.

Good god, when he’s walking in putts, you better get out of the way. He’ll take no prisoners.

What…that’s it. Yes, I didn’t post a single pic of Day’s wife. Why? You saw her. She’s 8 months pregnant. Out of respect for her I will not allow you to ogle her on this site today. You sick fucks. Plus, she’s right there in the widget on the right as the reigning WAG of the Month. Don’t get greedy.

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Hump Day Musings – Fed Ex Style

No, That Does Not Mean They’ll Be Delivered To Your Neighbor

After 10 days off the boys of the PGA Tour were back in action on Thursday in Lake Forest, Illinois at the BMW Championship. The former Western Open run by the WGA is now the third of four Fed Ex events and has a limited field of 70 players. Rory McIlroy, Jordan Spieth, Jason Day, Bubba Watson, Rickie Fowler…..yeah, they’re all there. That’s the top 5 in the world if you’re scoring at home. Almost every top player started the BMW, however, Jim Furyk was forced to WD after 6 holes. It is the first WD of his career. Jordan, Jason and Rickie were paired together for round 1 on Thursday. Golf shots were struck. Golf shots.

Jason Day lead the way with a 10 under score through 17 holes (the round was suspended due to a thunderstorm in the area). Par at the Conway Farms course is 71. Day would have to hole out from the fairway on the 9th hole for the 2nd time in his round to shoot 59 and tie Jim Furyk’s course record. That isn’t happening, and if it did it might make the internet self destruct. What else can you say about the state of Day’s game right now? He’s making the rest of the field look like hacks. He dominating off the tee and now he’s holing iron shots from fairway bunkers? If there were any more majors in 2015 is there any doubt who’d win?

Jordan Spieth has had himself an interesting week. He met the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders while attending Sunday night’s Cowboys/Giants game with Tiger (NBC didn’t even notice him in the box). His receding hairline was discussed in a Golf Digest interview with Seinfeld creator Larry David (Larry says Spieth is fucked and will be bald in 3 years). And now he’s in Chicagoland playing his umpteenth round in a row with Jason Day and getting his ass kicked again. Hey, Day is 10 under, Jordan is only 5 back and is playing much better than his past two events that resulted in missed cuts.

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How’d he get to -5? After he watched Day hole out on the group’s 10th hole, Jordan dunked a shot of his own for an ace at the par three 2nd hole.

The action at Conway Farms was good while it lasted. Hopefully the weekend is just as entertaining, but don’t be surprised if Jason Day runs away and hides from the other 69 competitors.

Haas Takes Bitch Tits For Prez Cup

It has been over a week since Jay Haas made his captain’s picks for October’s Presidents Cup matches. I bit my tongue about his picks at the time because I was busy and didn’t have the energy to spew my thoughts about it. If you missed it, Haas selected Mickelsauce and son Bill Haas for his team. While the Haas pick looks like nepotism from a distance, check that thought before you go any further. Bill was the 11th player on the points list. He was left off by a fraction. He deserved to be on the squad as much or more than any player not in the top 10 qualifiers.

Then there’s FIGJAM. Phil was 30th on the points list after his shitty season. He’s great in the team room by all accounts. He loves playing in Prez and Ryder Cup matches. He hasn’t missed a weekend of team matches for the U.S. in 20 years. I get why Haas went this way but I would have rather Jay ask Bitch Tits to come as a vice captain and go with a younger player.

Phil would have said ‘fuck you’ to the vice captain thing, but that is his problem. Haas probably should have taken Brooks Koepka. Koepka is young and needs the experience. He’s going to play in a good number of these team exhibitions over the next 20 years. Why not get him seasoned like what was done for Rickie Fowler in the 2010 Ryder Cup? In the end it is of course Haas’ decision and he’ll be lauded or ridiculed for it depending on the outcome of the matches. Or maybe not, They’ll play in the middle of the night in the Pacific Rim. Will anyone notice? Will anyone care?

The Golf Channel and NBC Gained 1000 Cool Points

The developing story of David Feherty leaving CBS has finally come to a satisfying ending. The former drunk Euro Ryder Cupper turned CBS on-course analyst for the last 19 years has found a new home with NBC’s golf team and the Golf Channel. Feherty sounds genuinely excited about his new opportunity in the interviews he has given. He will work both on the course (I assume when Johnny Miller is working) and in the booth at other times. David will also continue his award winning talk show on the Golf Channel and work more weekday coverage for the network.

The winner in this NBC/CBS hand off is us, the fans. We get more Feherty. We get a rejuvenated Feherty. And we get David fucking with Johnny Miller constantly. That will be good. What I still can’t understand is how CBS let him go. From what his announced role is with NBC and TGC, it doesn’t appear as though he was asking for much from his former employer. I’ll miss David at the Masters, but outside of that this is nothing but a positive for golf coverage.

Oh Scheiße, It’s Solheim Cup Week!

Live from Germany at 2 am Eastern, the Solheim Cup will get under way. I won’t be watching because this is my golf weekend with the boys, but you go ahead and enjoy it yourself. The word on the street from the Hinterland was that the Americans are a spoiled group of babies who have reputations as stars but resumes of little substance. That’s actually about spot on if you ask me. While several of the U.S. players have majors to their credit, shouldn’t the big guns have more than a handful of wins to their name?

Captain Julie Inkster must have agreed with the opinion of entitlement to an extent. She barred her team from all the rah rah bull shit they normally pull at the Solheim Cup. No special red, white, and blue nails. No face paint. Her message to her team was simply to be blue collar and to work your ass off. So she got them all lunch boxes.

I think her heart was in the right place, but buying someone a gift to make them think more gritty, more blue collar, more lunch pail….well, that’s a bit of a contradiction in itself.

Somehow the U.S. team is favored, but I think they’ll get their ass handed to them. Then Michelle Wie will blame Inkster for not letting her wear her special red/white/blue electron tape that makes her body function. Paula Creamer will cry. And Suzanne Petterson will scare their next period out of them. Maybe I will watch.

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Welp, The Walker Cup Happened, And We Got Our Ass Kicked

Ryder Cup Redux

When the Walker Cup teams were finalized a few weeks ago the US team had the glitzy names and more pedigree. Most ‘experts’ favored the Americans due to this perception. This lazy opinion was formed due to overlooking the fact that the Euro boys can play too and that they’d have a nice home field advantage at Royal Lytham. In the end the GB&I team out putted, out thought, and out classed the US team in every facet of the game on their way to a 16.5 to 9.5 beat down.

I felt like GB&I captain Nigel Edwards simply let his guys go out and play while US Captain Spider Miller micro managed. How else can you justify not playing red hot U.S. Amateur champ Bryson DeChambeau for all of the 4 sessions? DeChambeau finished the matches with a 2-0-1 record, in case you were wondering. GB&I dominated the matches even though Paul Dunne, he of British Open fame, went 1-2-1. There’s no doubt course knowledge played a distinct advantage. I think GB&I also had a deeper team thanks to the USGA selecting two mid-ams for their squad.

Hey, I’m the biggest proponent of mid-am golf that you’ll ever find. And I do like the fact that the USGA has Walker Cup spots for reigning mid-am champs. But to have two of them on your team weakens it. Of the 20 players for both teams, 18 are 26 and younger. That age means they’re basically college kids that play every day. A mid-am likely has a job and a family that takes away from their preparation. If GB&I was using the same formula for their squad this approach would make sense. Until then, make a change if you want to win, stick with the kids.

In the brief amount of the matches I could watch, the golf was played at a very high level and Royal Lytham looked great. The problem is that I didn’t see much of it at all, and only about 10 minutes live. Why is that? Because live action was never on TV in the U.S. Sky Sports had it live in Europe. In the U.S. we could only see the Walker Cup matches streaming on WatchESPN. What the fuck? My hunch is that with the USGA in bed with Fox the matches couldn’t be on the Golf Channel. I also believe that because the matches were across the pond that gave the R&A broadcast rights, which is why ESPN had their access (remember, they have the British Open). If I have all that right, then fuck ESPN for not showing anything but a two our highlight show on Sunday. I realize it was opening weekend for the NFL, but I don’t need another show with Merrill Hoge telling me who a good fantasy pick is for a back up kicker spot. Fuck you ESPN. Fuck you.

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My Day On The Road To The LPGA

The Struggle Is Real

Seven players on the LPGA Tour have earned $1,000,000 up to this point in their 2015 seasons. On the PGA Tour there are 101 millionaires this year. On the men’s tour there are 157 players that have earned 500k. The women have 19 players with that amount of yearly income. In no way am I saying the ladies of professional golf should earn more. That isn’t how our country works. I believe in capitalism. The men can draw more eyeballs, more advertisers, and that is what pays the bills. My comparison in this post is used only to show that it isn’t that glamorous of a lifestyle trying to play professional golf for women. The comparison of the men’s and women’s games gets even more out of whack when you dig deeper into their minor league tours one must be successful on in order to make it to the highest level.

For the ladies on the Symetra Tour, the road to the LPGA, a mere $66,000 in earnings will make you the leading money winner. That would be good enough for the 76th spot on the Web.com Tour (men’s counterpart). The ladies playing the Symetra Tour often share rooms, rental cars, stay with host families, and save dough in any other way possible to make their way around to various tournaments. While we hear stories like that of Kevin Streelman – PGA Tour journeyman turned Tour Player millionaire – sleeping in his car and putting 500,000 miles on a 1996 Toyota Camry, we don’t often hear about the struggles of an LPGA Tour player before she ‘made it’. Earlier this year I played in a Symetra Tour Pro-Am event and it opened my eyes to the lifestyle of a struggling ladies minor league touring pro.

I Felt Bad For Them

How I was invited to play in the pro-am doesn’t matter. I didn’t pay for it, but the event was quite luxurious. Comped breakfast, lunch, dinner, gift bags, new shoes, shirts, leather luggage, a round at a high end resort….all that was awesome. I’d played the course before, It’s a nice place, but it was in perfect condition for the weekend tournament. Part of the day also included getting to meet an LPGA Hall of Famer who was the quasi host of the tournament (before I forget, I must boast that I did beat the HOF’er in closest to the pin – she hit a 6 iron from 162 to 35 feet and I hit an 8 iron to 5 feet). The entire event, outside of the talent there, was 1st class.

I was excited to meet the professional for my group after I finished warming up on the range. I watched several pros on the practice tee and they all put a good move of the ball, the issue is that 85% of them can’t hit it as far as I hit a hybrid. They don’t have the strength or the speed. There are some hotties. I’d guess 1 of every 4 would be considered attractive, but it seems there is a direct correlation to hotness and game. The hotter you are, the worse you play. The uglier you are, the better your standing on the money list. There are some exceptions to this rule, but I’ll cover them later. Also, many of the Symetra members are Asian, in some way shape or form (Asian, Asian-American, Filipino, etc.). That shouldn’t matter to anyone who is a fan of golf, but I do think it takes a toll on making the ladies game more marketable.

My pro, we’ll call her “Susie Wong”, was as American as apple pie, albeit, Asian American. The West Coast girl was a classic golf nerd. A bit squatty in stature, she’d won less than 30k in almost 4 seasons of playing the Tour. She averaged 233 yards off the tee. And her stroke average was about 76 (per the Symetra website). With a 5 person team, our scramble score was 10 under, and we only used 7 of her shots. She didn’t make a putt over 6 feet all day. And she didn’t even anchor our rotation. I out-drove her by 100 yards on par 5 and hit 9 iron on the 2nd shot where she hit hybrid. My point here isn’t to sound macho, but to question how she’s supposed to be able to compete with a Michelle Wie or Lexi Thompson to make a living? Overall, she simply wasn’t very good or she had a very bad day.

This event wasn’t my first exposure to the Symetra Tour. A friend of mine was married to a Symetra member before their divorce. I played with his wife several times. She would have out-driven Susie by 50 yards. After 18 holes with Miss Wong I pondered how her game stacked up to her peers. Many of her stats were in the middle of the pack or worse. It was easy to see how she became embarrassed of her game over the duration of the pro-am. She didn’t like getting upstaged by her amateur partners. She missed one fairway all day and but still went immediately to the range to work on her game instead of socializing and networking during dinner. It would probably behoove players of her ilk to socialize more to open up business/sponsorship opportunities. This skill seemed lost on several Symetra players.

Susie told us about the host family she stayed with, what she thought of the course, how she played in her last event, what was in her bag, and who she traveled with. She used a caddie provided to her by the resort at no charge. And when she finally did come in from her cram session on the range, she took two to-go boxes home from dinner to feed herself for the next two nights. Any way to save a dime on tour, right? I wish this girl nothing but the best, but I don’t think she’ll ever make it to the big show. 100 of the top 125 players on the Symetra Tour won’t make it. Stacking my cubicle jockey game up against theirs easily tells me why. At what point do they realize they should move on to their back up plan?

Few And Far Future Stars

Don’t get me wrong, there are some legit talents on the Tour. I met Brianna Do, the former UCLA Bruin, who ranks in the top 20 on the money list. She’s only made 40k for 2015 but she’s not far away from earning a promotion to the LPGA. She can play, she rips it pretty far off the tee, and she won the U.S. Women’s Publinks in 2011. She’s not ugly either (on the right).

@ohsnapitsashh Good seeing you last night! #zombie #hootersgirl #Halloween #costume

A photo posted by Brianna Do (@bri_d0) on

Madeleine Sheils is also hanging around the top 20 on the Symetra money list. The former Nebraska Cornhusker has the game and the looks to make it to the ladies tour someday. She drives it further than the average Symetra player, hits a ton of greens, and makes a lot of birdies.

I give every one of these broads all the credit in the world for chasing their dreams of professional golf. In many ways I’m envious. They’re young. They chase the sun. And they get to play golf every day if they want. That can’t be all bad no matter what your day to day struggles are. My only advice, hang on as long as you can ladies. Desk jobs and grad school can wait.

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Rickie Goes To Havaad Baahr, Fucks Up Smaaat Kids – Final Thoughts On Deutsche Bank Championship

This Wasn’t A Ryder Cup Moment

The Fed Ex Cup and the Ryder Cup are two very different things in the world of golf, but you know that, any true golf fan knows that. The fans in Boston on Labor Day at the Deutsche Bank Championship must have simply forgot. As the championship turned into a duel between Rick Fowler and Henrik Stenson, the New England fans did everything in their power to make their presence known, especially to Stenson.

As the final group played the final round of the Deutsche Bank the field yielded to them as they made the turn. Either Fowler or Stenson would leave Boston as the champion. The winner would need to survive a heavyweight style match contested over the back nine. Stenson drew first blood and took a sizable lead. Fowler chipped away and then passed Stenson after the Euro failed to find dry land with his approach to the par three 16th hole.

The duel continued to the 18th hole where Rickie held a one shot lead. Both players found the fairway and attempted to reach the green in two. Both missed on the short side and left difficult up and downs for themselves to make birdie. When they missed birdie putts Fowler had only a tap in left to become the victor of the 2nd Fed Ex Playoff event of 2015. Outside of Stenson’s rinsed ball at 16, these two were pretty solid throughout their rounds on Monday. The golf was good, but the fans were rubbish.

The Boston crowd chanted USA and missed no opportunity to root against Henrik as he and Rickie played the back nine. I get that is was a holiday. I get that they were over served. And I’m the first person to encourage rowdy crowd behavior. But there’s no reason to root against a guy on the Tour unless he’s a dickhead like Vijay or Sergio. That isn’t the case with Stenson. Take the tough guy/drunk guy bullshit to another party.

Stenson deserved better, but Beantown fans aren’t why Stenson got beat. He beat himself with that water ball at 16. He seemed pretty hot about that one too, as if the caddie talked him into a club that caused the error. If that is true, Stenson should know better. He’s got to make the call on a club on that hole to miss long. If there was a misjudgment in the wind….hey, sometimes shit happens. Henrik finished 2nd last week in New Jersey. Another 2nd place finish this week is no fluke. Conway Farms in Chicago for the BMW in two weeks sets up great for him. And he could be getting set for a 2nd Fed Ex Cup championship.

As for Rickie, today’s win validates the great year he’s had. He’s made no bones about wanting to be mentioned in the same breath as heavy hitters Jason Day, Jordan Spieth, and Rory McIlroy. He’s not far away from this being feasible. But take note, Rick, those three guys have something you don’t. A major. There’s nothing you can do to change that until April.

So Rickie wins, NBC runs and hides because they’re 10 minutes past 6 pm, and we don’t get to see girlfriend Alexis Randock come out and greet him? That is bullshit. In protest I’ll give you another look so you don’t feel slighted (like I do).

I feel a little better now. There were some rumors around the PGA Championship that the beautiful young couple had broken up. Perhaps that is why we didn’t see her on NBC’s broadcast today.

The Field

Charlie Hoffman loves the TPC Boston course. He’s won there before, and through 36 holes this week it looked like he could win again. Then he shot a 3rd round 76 and became nothing but a footnote for the rest of the weekend. A +1 round of 72 instead of that 76 and he’s in a playoff with Fowler. Hunter Mahan’s golf game came back from the dead this week just in time to make sure he’d advance to the third playoff event later this month.

Mahan’s T4 finish moved him up 39 places to secure his spot in Chicago. Welcome back to relevancy, Hunter. Oh yeah, Rory McIlroy was back in action in Boston this week. He, unlike Jordan Spieth, made the cut and finished T29. He was completely irrelevant until he shot 66 on Monday. With the week off next week I’m not sure why McIlroy didn’t play the Barclays as well. That is more evidence that the top players still don’t give two shits about the Fed Ex Cup Playoffs. And Spieth, I’m not trying to gloss over another MC for him, he played like shit, again. He’ll figure it out, but he and Jason Day are probably running on empty right now. Don’t over analyze it.

Shot Of The Day

While the golf on Monday was good, there wasn’t a shot worthy of my typical SOTD standards. I did like Rickie’s eagle putt on the 2nd hole, but I don’t give SOTDs for putts. The SOTD instead goes to Dustin Johnson’s tee shot at the 289 yard par four 4th hole from earlier in the week. He didn’t hole it for an albatross, but he did drive the green with an iron.

A fucking iron!!!!!!! I’ve never been an advocate of rolling back the ball for tour pros and I never will be, but fuck me….this is the first technology related shot that has made me scratch my head and think about it.

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