Saint Paddy’s Day: Final Thoughts On Honda

He Can Thank Me Later

I called out Padraig Harrington two weeks ago because he disappeared from championship golf like Tiger has in 2015 and no one ever seemed to notice. So of course he comes out guns blazing to make me look bad by playing well this week. Then yesterday I said his 36 hole lead meant nothing because he had no chance to actually win the Honda Classic. I’m wrong again. Hey Paddy, for the right price I’ll gladly type that you have no chance to also win the Masters!

By now you’ve seen how Manic Monday at the Honda Classic played out. Harrington took advantage of Ian Poulter’s collapse, over came a horrific double bogey of his own at the 71st hole of the tournament, then beat rookie Daniel Burger in a two hole playoff for his first PGA Tour win in nearly 2400 days. Read that again. TWENTY-FOUR FREAKING HUNDRED DAYS!!!!!!

He did win an event in Asia last year that was not affiliated with any major tour. Outside of that, there’s been no evidence that this win was coming. In fact, Harrington has become more known for his crazy swing tweaking and bizarre training regimens (he believes in the Swing Shirt and hits drivers like Happy Gilmore as a drill).

Harrington’s win is a popular one as he’s a beloved character on tour. He was emotional, to an extent, about the win and gave every scribe within earshot a good 10,0oo words to work into their stories. That’s what he known for and its another reason he’s popular among these dorks.

I like Paddy. Him winning again is great for golf in almost every way, except one. He plays slow as fuck. It felt like he took hours to hit shots today while playing the back nine. It wasn’t that windy. The conditions weren’t that tough. Why wasn’t he on the clock? His group was out of position thanks to Poulter’s high jinx at the 14th hole. That aside, congrats to him for finding his game again.

Homie celebrated the same way I would have, by literally eating his competition.

There’s no truth to the rumor that a Five Guys deal is in the works for his bag next week.

Keep Your Irish Eyes Up Here

Who knew a funny looking dope like Padraig had this in him? Yes, I’m talking about a rich guy scoring another chick that’s way out of his league. Keeping with SFG tradition, here’s Mrs. Harrington for you fappers to gawk at. Her name is Caroline.

She looks good in the pics where she’s not lugging around baby weight. There’s not much else out there so don’t waste your time looking. I gave you the good ones. Trust me.

The Field

Outside of Paddy, there were only 4 other contenders after 63 holes of the Honda. Daniel Burger lost in the playoff. This kid was phenomenal until the 2nd sudden death hole. He trailed Poulter’s 54 hole total by nine. He shot 64 in round 4 and posted a 6 under total and had to wait out Harrington’s slow play for over an hour in the club house. The 64 included birdies on 17 and 18 that showed huge onions. His swing isn’t text book, but its great where it counts. If you give it a second look, watch how good he is from the transition at the top through the ball. Only his takeaway and turn look a bit unorthodox. I see some Dustin Johnson in that move.

Then there’s Dan’s mom. NBC/Golf Channel kept showing her as he moved up the leaderboard. I think she’s gross, but I know some of you pervs would do her after 3 beers. Feel free to comment on that.

Paul Casey lost last week in L.A. in a playoff. This week he finished one shot out of the playoff. That’s not a bad way to start your 2015 as a guy trying to find himself on the PGA Tour. Several media types are talking about Casey’s game like its been gone in the way Harrington’s has. Not so much, he won a Euro event last year. Casey’s T3 showing get him in to Doral next week where I think he’ll be a popular pick for fantasy types.

Fatrick Reed was around again and ready to pounce. Then he lost it inexplicably. After a birdie at 14 he played his next 3 holes in 4 over, which included a rinsed ball in the hazard at 15. He couldn’t find a fairway. He had the lefts. His collapse might have been the most shocking outcome of the day. He’s been a killer in every opportunity presented to him. At least he wore that black and white outfit on Sunday like a boss. Usually his Tax Slayer garb makes him look like a sloppy frat bro.

And lastly, we have Ian James Poulter. Where should I begin? For Ian’s sake I’ll take you back to where he was 9 under at the beginning of the final round. Then this happened.

That result in and of itself shows what 1.5 million people all hoping for the same thing can accomplish. Poulter made double there and opened the door for Paddy, Reed, and Casey. He did make a birdie before Sunday’s play was halted by darkness. He also looked pretty good on Monday morning until he found the H2O again at 11 on his 2nd shot. Amazingly that was his third water ball of the round and he wasn’t done! He was back in the swamp twice on 14.

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Somehow this didn’t break shot tracker, but the triple bogey took all the pressure off IJP’s back from that point forward. Of course he then made birdies on 17 and 18 to finish one shot back. The guy doesn’t have the goods. He’s a weak ball striker and Brandel Chamblee’s take on Poulter’s game was spot on after the dust settled. He said Poults isn’t afraid of pressure, see Ryder Cup, but his swing flaws lead to too many foul balls (I’m paraphrasing). Poulter has never addressed said flaws. There are guys that play in regional amateur tournaments against me that hit it better than Ian, they just don’t putt and chip like he does.

aquatic

Look at the bright side, Ian. At least you didn’t run out of balls and get DQ’d missing your biggest payday in 3 years.

Shot Of The Day

This is an easy one, but it is worth a 2nd look. Paddy’s dart on 17 put pressure back on Berger to hit it close. He didn’t respond well.

This shot was also redemption for Paddy’s fuck up here on the 71st hole of the tournament. How very steely of him to be able to block those demons out and hit such a ballsy shot.

TV Time

I said last week I wasn’t going to revisit and regurgitate the same TV talk every week. It isn’t worth it. Johnny is Johnny and we’ll just have to live with him until he goes away. I did enjoy his quip about Poulter running out of balls. IJP has had rabbit ears about Miller’s comments before. Hopefully he gets wind of this one too.

Besides NBC giving Jack Nicklaus time to talk about his new line of ice cream on the air, NBC and Golf Channel were a nice change from the CBS shit we’ve had for a few weeks. Monday’s action was golf on TV at its best. Team Peacock covered everyone at the right time, with the right level of drama, and didn’t miss a shot from a contender that mattered. There was no overkill of swing analysis, no fluff, no sponsor bull shit, and plenty of actual golf shown to viewers. Kudos to that group for getting it right. Well done.

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Ugh…The Fucking M-Word Is Lingering At The Honda

The M-Word Is “Monday”

There is no chance the Honda Classic will conclude on Sunday thanks to the near 7 inches of rain the golf course received on Friday and Saturday. Four hours of play was lost on Friday thanks to delays. On Saturday players finished their 2nd rounds in the morning, and those making the cut got in a few holes before play was suspended again. The leaders never teed off.

Third round spills over to Sunday

Some of the images (like the one above) showing the carnage from the weather have been incredible. Not destructive, just hard to fathom thanks to the amount of rain. The Honda auto that is sitting in the water hazard near the 18th green had H2O rising up near the floor boards late on Saturday. Play is scheduled to resume at 10 a.m. Sunday to give the grounds crew a chance to clean up and to allow for the course to drain a bit. With the late start, round 4 cannot begin until at least 3ish on Sunday. The sun sets just after 6 pm eastern time in this area, the leaders will be forced to come back on Monday to play about 2/3 of their final round. Strangely, on Thursday in round 1 the announcers on Golf Channel were chatting about how firm the course was and how it needed to be watered to make it more fair. Be careful what you wish for.

In The Lead

With the championship only half complete, the 36 hole leaderboard seems a bit irrelevant, but there are a few surprises at the top. First round leader and Monday qualifier Jim Herman dropped 2 shots in round 2, but is still -3 and T6. Luke Donald is back from the dead at -4 and holding the 5th position. Luke has played well at the Honda before and even won it, albeit at a different course. Fellow Englishman Ian Poulter (the ‘man’ part of his origin should be taken with a grain of salt) is one shot better than Donald at -5 with Brendan Steele. Who’s leading? Padraig Harrington. I shit you not. Paddy is ranked 297th in the world right now. He moved to that spot on Monday when James Hahn vacated it thanks to his win at Riviera. And just last week I had this to say about Paddy:

I must have struck a nerve. There are no sure things in golf, but this one is close. Paddy won’t win the Honda this year. No fucking chance. Why? Because Patrick Reed trails him by a shot and will eat Paddy’s first born if he has to in his efforts to win another PGA Tour event.

Lurking

The field at the Honda is always one of the best of the year for a non-major/Players/WGC event. Tiger obviously isn’t there, but Phil, Rory, Dustin, Sergio, Rickie, Kaymer, Westwood, Zach, GMac, Horschel, Keegan and Charl were all in South Florida this week to play. The problem is most of those guys missed the cut and only Phil and Sergio have a chance to contend over the next 36 holes. Phil’s 2nd round was pretty entertaining. He made birdies after hitting his tee shots off line and behind trees. Then he went complete FIGJAM with this tasty treat at the 14th:

Lucky for us, the PGA Tour website had Phil, Sergio, and Kaymer’s group as their round 2 ‘featured group’ and golf fans could get a little taste of the Honda early Saturday morning. With play suspended all afternoon, NBC went without showing a live shot on their national network broadcast. That might be the only way to shut Johnny Miller up.

Looper Lounge

By now you have likely read about the caddies who are suing the PGA Tour over the right to show their own advertisements on the bibs they were. If not, my take on it can be read here again. I’ll hold my ground on that part of the suit. Also included in this fight for rights is the fact that caddies are not allowed in the club house during tournaments. I assume this goes back to 100 years ago when caddies were considered 2nd class citizens. Shit, back then the pros playing in tournaments also weren’t allowed in the club house. Obviously times have changed and rules applying to caddies should too.

From what I understand, most tournaments set up pretty decent caddy lounge areas for them to hangout, eat well, and take a load off while they wait for their player or wait out a weather delay. It seems this week at the Honda is an exception to such treatment. During yesterday’s storm, loopers took to Twitter to show how they’re being shit on.

Scotty Vail is Brandt Snedeker’s caddie and they’re not even in the Honda this week, but Vail went to bat for his mates on the Twitter too. He re-Tweeted the footage from above and then said this:

While I disagree on the whole bib thing, this treatment of caddies is beyond ridiculous. Let them in the locker rooms or set up a better lounge area with decent food and shelter. There is no excuse to put them in harm’s way and to have them in primitive areas with no air conditioning. The beauty of Twitter is that when things go viral like this results usually come fast. If an airline fucks up and you tweet about it, they help you NOW. Vail and his fellow loopers action will not go unnoticed. This will be fixed, probably as soon as today.

New WAG Of The Month

Wake up man, it is March already. And that means golf for those of us in the snow isn’t that far way. It also means that there is a new WAG of the Month here at SFG. As you can see, Mrs. Jason Day got the nod for these 31 days. My choices came down to Ellie and Mandy Snedeker based on their hubby’s wins in February.

I like Mrs. Sneds, but I don’t think this was a fair fight. Congrats to Ellie. Perhaps this is an omen for the Days as we head towards the Masters.

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Love Officially Named Ryder Cup Captain & Other Hump Day Musings

Remember What The Doobie Brothers Told You

To no one’s surprise, Davis Love III was officially named Team USA’s Ryder Cup captain for 2016 on Tuesday in a presser held by the PGA of America. Love said all the right things, the most notable being who will be his vice captains, advisers, and how he’ll do things differently this time around. Like how DL3? Well, first he says that he didn’t consult past captains in 2012 and will do so now to learn from the mistakes he made. He didn’t make mention of redemption as much as he did getting things right that he previously got wrong. He said he’s not the same captain this time around. Lets hope not.

Love’s first charge was to name Tom Lehman a VC. Lehman is of course from Minnesota, where the matches will be contested, and he’s already been a captain. This move was obvious. Love and PGA officials also noted that task force members Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson will still be involved in decisions regarding this team. Oh will they? Does this mean they’ll be picked by Davis even if they don’t make the team on points? At this point, both of them making it without being picked seems highly unlikely. And why are these two getting held in such high regard? What have they ever achieved together at the Ryder Cup?

Oh yeah, that’s right. Fuck. Why wasn’t Hal Sutton on the task force to tell possible captains to keep TW and Bitch Tits as far away from this mess as possible?

Phil was at Love’s presser. He’s thrilled that he’s been asked to be this involved and is allowed to provide input, which is really another shot at Tom Watson. Isn’t is also a shot at Love, Lehman, and other past captains? Tiger provided a boring statement because he could not attend the event.

The other big part of the Tuesday presser was the announcement that the timing of the captain’s picks has changed. Eight players will automatically qualify after the PGA. Three picks will be made after the third Fed Ex event. And a final player will be selected after the Tour Championship. The press is calling this the “Billy Horschel Rule” as a nod to the fact that BH should have been added to last year’s squad after his Fed Ex performance. I call it common sense. I’m astonished at the time and resources that the PGA used to assemble this task force when they could have read Twitter and received better or similar ideas from Joe Public. #clusterfuck

Titleist Extends Product Line

When Taylormade, Callaway, and several other club companies push out a new driver every year they often have several different models available at different price points. They also often extend such product lines with launches of similar products just a few months later. Titleist, and Ping for the most part, have typically had a different approach to their equipment – especially drivers. Titleist has produced D3 and D2 models of drivers for six years now with new offerings in odd years. In November their new 915 models hit shelves and became available to consumers. Today on the range at the Honda Classic a new D4 model was spotted in the hands of John Peterson.

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The word on the street is that the D4 will be a little less forgiving than its siblings, but will produce less spin and be a little bigger than the D3 but more pear-shaped than the D2. In other words, if you hit it in the center of the club face like a tour pro, this is your stick. I personally love the 915 models I’ve hit and will likely be getting one this spring. This model is rumored to be available in May. I’m not sure I can wait that long.

Gerry and Biebs

WARNING! THE FOLLOWING BLURB IN THIS POST MAY MAKE YOU SICK TO YOUR STOMACH. SHUTFACEGOLF IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE UNEASY FEELING YOU ARE ABOUT TO HAVE IN YOUR LOWER INTESTINE.

Ten days ago Golf.com aired a piece that discussed Bubba Watson’s appearance on Access Hollywood. Hey, Gerry was in L.A. waiting for his chance to defend his Northern Trust Open title, why not do some publicity? Does that ever go well for Watson? The entertainment show decided to ask Bubba about his relationship with Justin Bieber. Say the fuck what? Yeah, they’re friends. No, he wasn’t confusing Rickie Fowler for Biebs. Apparently Gerry and Justin talk about dealing with success with each other like some kind of narcissistic support group. They met through a pastor in Seattle. They both should be throat punched.

When I read that I tried to ignore it. I thought this approach worked. I thought I was done with Bubba’s off-course crap for a while….then this came through the Tweeter:

From juvenile terd to cunty brat, they now number 2 ranked golfer in the world sure knows how to pick his friends. What this does is make you wonder where we all went wrong. Tiger hung with MJ, Barkley, Penny Hardaway, etc. when he was in his prime. Meanwhile at night he was out fucking porn stars. I’d much rather have my tour professionals wrist deep in a Perkin’s server than chatting about life with biggest douche bag on the planet, but that’s just me. My rant is now over. Please resume your life as planned.

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Hahn Gets 1st Win At The Riv: Final Thoughts On Northern Trust Open

Hahn Broke His Hymen

The PGA Tour’s West Coast Swing had a near major break out at Torrey Pines two weeks ago and saw more of the same this week at Riviera. On Sunday the rains came and softened a firm and fast golf course, but the scores didn’t get lower. The old lady that is the Riv just got saltier. When the day started the 2015 version of the Northern Trust Open looked like a 2004 U.S. Open with names like Vijay Singh and Retief Goosen at the top. It ended with journeyman James Hahn holding the trophy.

As you might know by now, Hahn nearly gave up the professional game 6 years ago. He four putted his final green at Q-School to narrowly miss becoming a PGA Tour member. In yet another lesson taught to all of us about perseverance, Hahn never gave up on his dream and fought his way on to the big tour by earning his credentials on the Web.com Tour. The kid from Cal-Berkley, who prior to today was best known for his 2013 birdie celebration in Phoenix, has now legitimized everything he’s ever dreamed of as a golfer by collecting his first PGA Tour victory.

Hahn’s victory didn’t come easy. He, Paul Casey, and Dustin Johnson survived Riviera by posting a four round total of 7 under while the rest of the field made mistakes around them. In the playoff the threesome made gutsy pars on the brutal 18th hole and moved forward to the short and nervy 10th. Casey only managed par after hitting the best tee shot of the lot. Meanwhile, Hahn’s and Johnson’s birdies from the thick cabbage left of the green would have made Houdini blush. With Casey eliminated the (now) twosome moved on to the par three 14th to continue their duel. Johnson struck first with a 6 iron to 10 feet. Hahn followed with an approach shot to 18 feet. Advantage Johnson, or so it seemed. Hahn’s less accurate shot gave him a chance to putt first. He drilled it, then stood on the green while Johnson prepared his stroke. Hahn couldn’t even watch. Johnson’s putt missed low and really never had a chance.

I don’t think Hahn will be a one hit wonder. He’s been in this position before, but this time fate was on his side as he battled greats like Goosen, Sergio, Dustin Johnson, Jordan Spieth, and others. He was of course elated and humbled by his victory, and I’d imagine the birth of his daughter next month will be even more thrilling than what he experienced today.

The Field

After Sergio Garcia’s first 70 holes of the NTO, this was his tournament to lose. Sergio was in the middle of a packed leaderboard when he hit the Shot of the Day from next to the 12th green. This chip-in gave him a one shot lead.

But because the NTO and Riviera were playing like a major, we knew he couldn’t hold on and win, right? Sergio’s swing was off all day, and he admitted this in his post round interview. His tee shots were right and at times even right of right. For instance, in the 3rd round his tee ball on 13 was 75 yards off line and ended up in the bunker next to the 10th green. Of course he went on to hit a great recovery shot and make par because it was still Saturday. Sergio’s down fall started with tee shots at 17 and 18 that were quick smother hooks. Both resulted in bogies and kept him one shot out of the playoff.

Then the little shit tells Pete Kostis that he didn’t deserve to win because he didn’t have his best stuff this week. What kind of fucking pussy-thinking is that? I’d bet Tiger Woods won 40 tournaments with his “C” game. Winners win, there are no pictures on the scorecard. Sergio is a mental midget.

Jordan Spieth was in the field and finished one shot out of the playoff too. You wouldn’t know it though because CBS didn’t show him for the first 2 hours and 30 minutes of their telecast. What. The. Fuck? I know there were 27+ players with a chance, but to whiff on the rise of a big star coming up the leaderboard on Sunday is inexcusable.

Thanks @thejessemontana for my hair cut. You're the best 😘

A photo posted by Paulina Gretzky (@paulinagretzky) on

Well yes, that is Paulina Gretzky. She was at the Riv to see her baby daddy play just well enough to lose to James Hahn. Dustin played great this week and I’m thrilled that he’s back on the tour after his cocaine suspension. Besides Sergio, Dustin is the other guy that should be kicking himself tonight. He bogied the par five 17th hole with a wedge from the fairway on his third shot. He missed a 12 foot birdie putt at 18 that would have given him a 1 stroke clubhouse lead. Then he missed a 10 footer that would have extended the playoff with Hahn. In short, DJ still isn’t clutch, Paulina is still around, and his short game is still preventing him from being a top 3 player in the world (even though his flop shot and subsequent birdie on the 2nd playoff hole was ridiculous).

And lastly we had the old guys lingering around for 63 holes of this tournament. Through the front nine of the final round it looked like Retief or Vijay were going to go home with the big check. Goosen crumbled, shot 75, and never was a factor in the last 9 holes. Veej birdied the 10th hole to take the lead (on his 52nd birthday nonetheless), then shit himself. He was chipping cross-handed, which is bizarre enough, and played his last 4 holes 4 over to finish 4 back. Good. I can’t say this enough. Fuck Vijay.

Not The Shot Of They Day

Oh yes, this beauty from Paul Casey takes the cake today. The only thing in golf scarier for a player than hitting a shank is the shot immediately following an unplanned lateral stroke. Amazingly enough, he pitched his next shot on the green and made a par!

I saw Casey at a practice round for the 2006 PGA Championship at Medinah. He was playing the 242 yard par three 13th hole. He attempted to hit a 3 iron and shanked the fuck out of it much worse than what you see in the tweet above. Gary McCord was there to give him shit about it. Its too bad swing coach Peter Kostis didn’t chime in today to tell us what caused his pupil’s hosel rocket.

Shot Of The Week

Ryan Moore takes home the SFG Shot of the Week from the Riv. Saturday at the 10th hole Moore hit driver and nearly made an ace. Then he got prison-fucked thanks to the ball gaining speed off the lip of the cup and going over the green.

Moore went from nearly making 1 to settling for a 4 in the blink of an eye. There’s no justice in golf. Later in the round at the par three 16th Moore’s tee shot hit the flag stick and bounded off the putting surface. It wasn’t all bad luck for Ryan, he did drain a 20 footer from the fringe to get a 2 on his next shot.

TV Time

I haven’t included a ‘TV Time’ segment in my weekly wrap ups for quite sometime now. And that will continue unless there is something out of the norm to mention about a broadcast. I noted above how bad CBS was today in showing viewers Jordan’s Spieth’s play. The rest of their broadcast was pretty weak too, especially when their lame “Help Me Kostis” segment showed us more celebrity swing shit as we saw last week. And to give us the swing of octogenarian Clint Eastwood, no no no no no. That was a desperate Oscars tie-in attempt that failed miserably.

What was done right this week didn’t come from CBS at all, it came from the PGA Tour production crew. PGATour.com shows live coverage from an assigned hole or stretch of holes at the tour event each week. At the NTO they hunkered down at the devilish 10th hole. Brilliant! For all four rounds golf fans could watch the entire field play this quirky hole from the tee through the green. Yes please, can we have more? My hope is the tour saw this as a successful venture and we get more of it going forward. “Live At the Bear Trap” sounds pretty good to me for next week. Are you listening Mr. Finchem?!????

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There Is No Stopping Lydia Ko

Number 1 Rolls

Seventeen year old phenom, Lydia Ko, became the number 1 player in the women’s game just a few short weeks ago. Over the last four days the world class players in the ladies’ game were down under competing in their version of the Australian Open. Ko battled South Korea’s Amy Yang and came away with a 2 shot victory in the early hours of Sunday morning here in North America.

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Ko’s day didn’t start as she planned. Even though she made an eagle, she wasn’t on, she made some bad bogies, and her entire tournament might have been saved by the lightning delay that halted the final round. Ko said the delay gave her time to regroup, grab lunch, and get her shit together. She returned to the golf course to play the final 10 holes flawlessly. Two birdies and no bogies on the venerable Royal Melbourne course earned her the championship.

Doing It Right

Ko’s victories are now expected. She already has 6 of them and has become the dominant player on the ladies tour like Lorena and Annika were before her. The LPGA will see plenty of benefits from a star like her reaching a long and elevated apex of her career. When I see Ko dominate like this I can’t help but think of a failed phenom that came before her, Michelle Wie.

Ko is the anti-Wie. She’s humble. She’s not trying to raise her status by playing against the men and making flashy commercials. She came up playing tournaments she could win. Shit, she won professional events as a 14 year old amateur as you remember. At that same age, Michelle was trying to beat men in the Sony Open in Hawaii or the U.S. Publinx and U.S. Am. That clearly wasn’t a recipe for success. She never learned to win. The different philosophy allowed Ko to play against peers, beat them, and gain a winners mentality that Michelle Wie could only dream of.

Ko is the anti-Wie in more ways than just being a winner. She doesn’t complain. She plays smart. She is confident. She always has a plan (has said recently she’ll retire at 30 to become a psychiatrist). And she does it all with class. Hey, I’m not going to turn this into another hate on Michelle Wie post. I’m simply telling you why Ko is such a breath of fresh air compared to her. Michelle has come a long way in the last two years, but she’ll never arrive at the same destination Ko is standing in right now. They’re worlds apart, thank god.

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Clarke And Love Named Cup Captains

Love Redux

That sounds like the name of an awful late night Cinemax flick, no? What I’m alluding to is the fact that Davis Love III was named the 2016 Ryder Cup captain for Team USA. I shit you not. Love was of course the 2012 captain of the team that lost after holding a 10-6 lead going into Sunday singles matches. DL3 was also on the task force put together to help select a captain for this biannual massacre. That makes the selection even more strange. What was the task force for?

When the rumor of Love being named captain again surfaced, Twitternerds took to their keyboards to lambaste the choice will full vengeance. Personally, I was shocked because Love’s name had never come up before when discussing the 2016 matches. After a full 24 hours to absorb this decision I have come to grips with it.

The ‘experts’ figured Fred Couples or Paul Azinger were the men being decided on. Zinger won the cup for the U.S. in 2008 and Fred has won the last 3 Presidents Cups as captain. In the aftermath Zinger told the Golf Channel he didn’t want the job.

Paul retweeted Coffin’s message as validation. What is he afraid of? I’m not sure. I suppose he’s secure in his legacy from 2008. Whatever. He’s an ass anyway. So what about Freddie? There’s a few rumors circling that the PGA thought Fred was too aloof for the job and that he didn’t show any passion for it. I’m not sure I buy that unless he simply didn’t want the burden. And when has Fred shown passion for anything? Perhaps he’s burnt out with being captain thanks to the Presidents Cup matches. Whatever the case, Fred is friends with DL3, so he’ll be right there in Minnesota next year to be a calming influence on Davis’ team just like he was at Medinah.

The players that figure to be involved in the 2016 matches have all voiced high opinions of the selection. They admire Love and want to play their best for him, as they should. Some even feel guilt for how 2012 played out. Words don’t win Ryder Cups. Come to play fellas. 

Captain Clarke

Across the pond the Euro Tour made their choice of a 2016 Ryder Cup captain on Wednesday. The Euro leaders locked themselves in the Ryder Cup room at Wentworth to allow their brain trust to sip scotch and make easy decisions.

Apparently this isn’t like picking a pope because instead of sending out smoke signals the Euro brass took to Twitter and other media outlets to announce that their obvious selection, Darren Clarke, was the new captain. Clarke’s only real competition was the Mechanic, Miguel Jimenez.

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I think Miguel will get his chance down the road, most likely in France in 2018, but there is some chatter on the interwebs that he was a little pissed about being passed by. Does he look pissed?

I’ve also read a few different takes about how the pick of Clarke might divide the Euros with the likes of GMac, Rory, Poulter, Westwood and others backing Clarke and playing balls out for him, while Spaniards like Sergio would have preferred Miguel. I’m not sure I buy that. Sergio has been Clarke’s teammate in several of these matches in the past. He played for Clarke when the whole team secured the cup a month after DC lost his first wife to breast cancer. He knows Jimenez will get his chance, but if anyone can pout about something stupid and act like a little bitch, its Sergio.

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Girls In Skirts Playing With Balls

Go Aztecs!

What you’re about to see will baffle and amaze you. Yes, it is also the latest viral trick shot video, but this one is a little bit different. The girls golf team of San Diego State put their own twist on some standard issue trick shots. Take a look:

Something tells me that girl has no problem with letting balls in her skirt. It was second nature to her. I’m kidding. I’m sure she’s a virgin who is on the dean’s list. Great stuff ladies. You have a new fan. And nice catch by the broad who nabbed the gutta percha in her brassiere.

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Sneds Back In Winners Circle – Takes AT&T: Final Thoughts On Pebble

Good Guy, Great Win

Everybody loves Brandt Snedeker, what’s not to like? And because of this phenomenon we can all sit and feel warm and gooey inside (while its -15 in most of the country) thanks to his 2nd win at Pebble Beach. BS won this event two years ago and appeared to be atop the golf world at that time. Little did we know back then that he’d injured his rib on the 14th tee of that final round. He’s hardly been the same since. I proclaimed him the Masters favorite after that win, as did others, but his game has never been the same. He took a few weeks off after that injury in 2013 and came back to resume his normal schedule, but his only win post-injury was the RBC Canadian Open that was somewhat handed to him when Hunter Mahan pulled out with the 36 hole lead due to his wife going into labor.

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Sneds was also injured in a strange segway accident in late 2013. He had hip and shoulder surgeries that hindered him most of 2014. Even with such injuries and ailments he pressed on attempting to make his idol’s Ryder Cup team. Last year poor play and his absence from team USA must have crushed him. He also wasn’t ranked high enough thanks to a shit year to assure that he’d be in the WGC and majors fields. Today his win validates that he’s back. His emotion in the moment of his win showed what this means to him. He also assured that he’s in the 2015 Masters field. Sneds doesn’t shy away from how much those four days in April mean to him.

Brandt called his shot last night, albeit he likely was kidding around and referencing the pro-am competition, but still:

That’s just more of why we like him, he’s confident, but not cocky. And he knew today was going to be his day. Why would he think otherwise with only choking Jim Furyk in front of him? He made one bogey all week and that was the 3rd hole of his 3rd round yesterday at Pebble. The fact that he does all this with putter from 2002 and a driver from 2010 dumbfounds me.

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And Mr. Snedeker, if by some strange chance you’re reading this….well, you can thank me later for your victory. I couldn’t decide between picking you or Jimmy Walker for my pick’em this week. I of course took Walker, which opened the door for your certain victory. Welcome back to the winner’s circle.

The Field

Let us start with Jim Furyk. He’s what, about 0 for his last 9 or 10 in closing 54 hole leads? That’s clearly eating away at him. This was his first tournament since September, but a 74 closing round at Pebble in perfect conditions after shooting 63 on the same course a day before screams ‘choke job’.

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Jim playing from the side of the cliff down the right side of the 6th hole should have been an omen to all of us that him not winning the AT&T was the surest bet of the day.

Pat Perez was also in the hunt and got there by making birdie on 6 of his first 8 holes. Bogies at 8, 10, and 12 cooled him off, but he hung in there to finish T4 and grab his first top 10 finish since the same event last year. He and his partner also won the pro-am part of the event thanks largely to his am’s 71 on the Monterrey Peninsula Country Club earlier in the week. CBS glossed over this, but tweeter Adam Fonseca was quick to pick up on the fact that an 8 handcicapper shot par and how rare that actually is.

Sandbagger indeed. He looked like some Vegas mobster Pat owed a lot of cash to, so I’m sure his index is correct. Nothing to see here. Move along.

Jason Day was also back in the mix this week fresh off his win last week in San Diego. Day had no business being there thanks to his ordinary 72 at Pebble on Thursday. He was also battling the flu. Still, his 62 on Friday to go with early birdies at Pebble on Sunday gave him a chance, he just ran out of holes and gas in his tank. On his way in he did drop a “fuck” for the TV cameras to catch and hear at the 12th tee. He did that last week too. Jason will have a nice fine to pay the Tour for his verbiage. Nantz gave him a proper scolding and apologized to viewers. I took it very seriously, how could you not?

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UPDATE:

Mr. and Mrs. Day say that he wasn’t the one who dropped the F-bomb:

Too bad, I like that kind of fire in a player.

John Daly lead the tournament after about 21 holes. He shot 65 on Thursday at Pebble and made a few early birdies on Friday to get the interwebs all excited about him being more relevant to tournament golf than Tiger Woods. Come on. I scoffed thinking he could actually still miss the 54 hole cut. The NLU team apparently nailed it as well:

Solid work, as always boys. Lastly, for the non-winners of the week, there was Nick Watney. He’s been AWOL for too long (hasn’t won since 2012). He had a top 10 last week and his solo 2nd place at Pebble was his best finish since his last win. Two top tens already in 2015 is as many as he had all last year. I’m glad he’s back. I’m a big fan, but now is as good of a time as any to bring up what Gary McCord said about him today. If you missed it, McCord said something along the lines of Nick not looking confident in what he’s doing on the course. He’s won, he’s a great player, and at this stage of his career he shouldn’t look scared to be playing with the big boys on Sunday. I think that’s accurate. And I think that’s a huge difference you see between Watney and Snedeker. Brandt believes he will win, Nick hopes he’ll win.

N.W.A Doesn’t Have A Song About Mandy

I like Mandy Snedeker. She seems sweet. So I hate having to write anything negative about her. She’s cute, a typical trophy wife of a PGA Tour member. She’s made cute kids. She’s got a great body. But I can’t get passed her look when she takes off her sunglasses. She’s definitely ‘sun-glass-hot’. Am I wrong on this?

You saw her today with the kids behind the 18th green. Here’s more:

You have to like a chick in red boots, right? But note, she looks good in this pic and has the glasses on.

On the right in this one, something is different.

There, this one’s better sans glasses.

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Ehhhh……fuck it, I’ll let you pervs decide. My work here is done.

Shot Of The Day

When the winner walks home with a wide margin and doesn’t have to do anything spectacular the Shot of the Day award is wide open for the taking. And that is why today’s SFGSOTD goes to journeyman Steve Wheatcroft. Steve nearly made an albatross on Pebble’s 18th hole while playing 90 minutes in front of the leaders.

Which begs the question, if you make an albatross do you have to buy drinks like you do for an ace? Shit, perhaps you have to buy double the amount of drinks. What is the protocol for such an occasion…..you know, just in case I ever need to know?

Poor Bastard

Mark Hubbard is a PGA Tour rookie from San Jose State. On Friday at the AT&T Pro-Am he walked off of 18 green and dropped to his knee to propose to his girlfriend.

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Word on the street is that she said yes. I sincerely congratulate the young couple. Great for them, but what the fuck is the point of being a Tour pro at the highest level if you can’t tag hot golf groupies for a few years before you tie the knot? Isn’t that why we all want to be professional athletes when we’re kids? Check this kid’s head.

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Hot Take Coming! Tiger Is Taking His Balls And Staying Home

See You In AugustaOrlando

Tiger Fucking Woods announced today that he’ll be taking a leave of absence from the tour, but you already knew that. His plan is to fix his game and return to the tour when he feels like he’s ready to compete and win again. Great. He also said his back is fine. So does that information put together mean he was full of shit when he WD’d in San Diego last week? Abso-fucking-lutely.

Outside of being a liar and making excuses, this seems like the right move for Tiger. If he truly rededicates himself and comes back a changed player then we’ll all be better off for it. Due to his injury last year and the subsequent surgery, he only had about 2 months with his new swing to try to complete the change. Have you ever played after a lesson? It doesn’t take over night. When Nick Faldo made drastic swing changes in the 80s he took a whole season off to perfect them. That’s probably over the top and Tiger doesn’t need that kind of time. What’s amazing is he thought he could get back to his old form while making this change and getting reps in events. His ego isn’t tiny.

He would have next played at the Honda Classic if he’d stuck to his normal schedule. He didn’t rule out playing in Palm Beach in two weeks, but I’d bet against it. You know damn well he’s not missing the Masters, so I suspect we’ll see him at Bay Hill. The Masters is what this is really all about. He’s going to pull out all the stops to be ready for it.

So what if he doesn’t come back? Then I’ll blame Lindsey Vonn. His heffer girlfriend has to be the fault. Tiger, rid yourself of the hoofed one and go the way of Rory. No distractions, use your weeks off to see your kids, and stop hanging out as the only brown guy at ski races.

Don’t kid yourself. He’ll be back because he’ll eventually think he is ready. His ego is too big for him to go the Anthony Kim route.

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Hump Day Musings: Clambake Edition

If All Of Us Could Be So Lucky

It is of course the week of the great Crosby Clambake, which means Pebble Porn is broadcast in all forms of media to us jealous snow covered golfers held captive by winter. I’ll watch just to drool, I’ll read tweets just to feel warm, but I’ll skip the hullabaloo of Saturday’s mud-butt broadcast on CBS. Who needs that clown show? The rest of the week is gold, especially when you get priceless images like this one provided by Pat Perez today.

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Seems Mr. Perez went over to Cypress Point to play with Colt Knost. That’s a major perk of being a tour pro. Now you ask, why would they go play down the road at a course that isn’t in the Clambake rota? P2 said it best:

Cypress is one of the most private tracks in the world. I know people who have played Augusta, Pine Valley, Chicago Golf Club, etc., but I don’t know a soul that has played Cypress. I think Pat and Colt have the right idea.

Is It The Butter-Face Edition?

News broke Monday that Rory McIlroy’s ex-fiance is featured in the Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Issue. Say what? How much did she pay to get put in? I shared my immediate thoughts on Twitter:

If you read my drivel often you know I’m not a fan. You also likely know that when I’m wrong I’ll admit it. Would I have put her in the issue? Of course not. But she does have the goods to pull off such a pictorial. However, she’s probably airbrushed beyond anything you’d recognize if she took off all her clothes in front of you in plain daylight sans makeup.

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Now lets call this what it really is. It’s “hey Rory, look at me. 5 million dudes around the world are going to see this pictures of me and have a fappening. Fuck you”.

From the shoulders down she’s a 12 in a hand of black jack, meaning you should probably hit it.

Trophy Drop At The Farmers

This time Ted Bishop had nothing to do with it. Because of the 2 hole playoff that concluded the Farmers Insurance Open on Sunday, television coverage cut away before we saw the actual trophy presentation. That’s a shame because it was one of the more stylish trophy deliveries you’ll ever see. Here’s the clip:

Obviously the whole thing was cock-blocked with the tournament ending at 16 instead of 18, but still cool. Or do you think it was too much? I don’t think Jason Day cared half as much as his kid did. Also, I can’t figure out what the motivation was to do this.

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